Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:13 PM
 
214 posts, read 207,246 times
Reputation: 202

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster View Post
I can vouch for the fact that this works. The goal is to establish some minimum rapport while talking to the woman. Nobody just goes up to a stranger out of the blue, blurts a compliment or other comment, then asks for a number.

Do they? That's not how it works.
Apparently, they do.

When I ask people "where do you meet women," the invariable response from both men and women is "everywhere!" And I say "what??" And I am told "you can even meet a woman at a supermarket. In fact, every woman has to eat and consequently they all have to go to supermarkets. It's even better than a club!" Now, I always then go "yeah, right. That's baloney, you mean you actually will approach a woman at a supermarket?" And all the women go, "yeah, you just need to walk up to a woman and start talking! It happens to me all the time!"

But now, all the women are like "if someone comes up to me and I don't know them, then they're rapists to me." OK, fine, but you can't have it both ways. I can buy one OR the other, but not both. Don't tell me half the time that guys are casually striking up conversations with you out of the blue even on street corners and at vending machines and the other half of the time you're Macing them and calling 911 if they come near you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:14 PM
 
214 posts, read 207,246 times
Reputation: 202
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks View Post
If men stopped pursuing women, the human race would just die out.
And just before the last woman died, she'd be like "but ...I looked his way and then looked away quickly ...how could he mistake my total interest in him ...?? GAAAAAAK."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Houston, Tx
8,227 posts, read 11,164,602 times
Reputation: 8198
Quote:
Originally Posted by sobaloba View Post
and just before the last woman died, she'd be like "but ...i looked his way and then looked away quickly ...how could he mistake my total interest in him ...?? Gaaaaaak."

:d
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:23 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,874,098 times
Reputation: 5353
Quote:
Originally Posted by sobaloba View Post
Apparently, they do.

When I ask people "where do you meet women," the invariable response from both men and women is "everywhere!" And I say "what??" And I am told "you can even meet a woman at a supermarket. In fact, every woman has to eat and consequently they all have to go to supermarkets. It's even better than a club!" Now, I always then go "yeah, right. That's baloney, you mean you actually will approach a woman at a supermarket?" And all the women go, "yeah, you just need to walk up to a woman and start talking! It happens to me all the time!"
You've missed what people have been saying here, including me. The ones who are successful at getting a number in the grocery store are the dudes who chat the women up. They don't just walk up and say, "Hey, you're purty! Can I have your number?" They make light banter. Toss in a joke, maybe, get a chuckle out of her. Smile. Be cheerful. Get her warmed up. Then you ask if you can get her a coffee, or ask for her number.

It's about finesse. Creating rapport with finesse. Can you dig it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:23 PM
 
346 posts, read 352,504 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by sobaloba View Post
And just before the last woman died, she'd be like "but ...I looked his way and then looked away quickly ...how could he mistake my total interest in him ...?? GAAAAAAK."

Or "I act completely indifferent to his presence. How does he not know I like him???"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:25 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,874,098 times
Reputation: 5353
Quote:
Originally Posted by sobaloba View Post
But now, all the women are like "if someone comes up to me and I don't know them, then they're rapists to me." OK, fine, but you can't have it both ways. I can buy one OR the other, but not both. Don't tell me half the time that guys are casually striking up conversations with you out of the blue even on street corners and at vending machines and the other half of the time you're Macing them and calling 911 if they come near you.
Keep grinding that axe, and you might cut your hand, or something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:27 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,261 posts, read 108,277,635 times
Reputation: 116255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dig In View Post
Or "I act completely indifferent to his presence. How does he not know I like him???"
No, that's the strategy the guys here recommend. It's more of a guy thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-05-2014, 09:31 PM
 
346 posts, read 352,504 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
No, that's the strategy the guys here recommend. It's more of a guy thing.

Women do it too. And as far as guys doing it, it only works with the very attractive girls. It doesn't work on the below average, average, or slightly above.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-18-2014, 10:34 PM
 
156 posts, read 260,857 times
Reputation: 105
i just realized i posted this just right before he passed away...

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluevalentine1986 View Post
but Robin Williams makes it sound so cool. he does his approach in a bar though, which i want to avoid


Good Will Hunting - No Regrets - YouTube
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-19-2014, 12:04 PM
 
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,080,969 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Yes, it was the perfect approach, and he knew enough about me to know that I wasn't married, seeing anyone seriously, a lesbian, bat **** crazy, or blatently uninterested.

But something tells me this sort of "approach" is out of reach for some of our young Struggling Guys. The prefer to walk up to a stranger and awkwardly ask for a phone number.
Not me. What you describe in the first paragraph is almost exactly what I'm looking for.

Exception being that I don't want a date. I would want romance to occur in the normal course of spending time with the person. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for me. Either I tell them how I feel, and they just want to be friends, or I tell the wrong person, that person tells them in the wrong way, and the subject wishes never to speak to me again. Extremely discouraging and sad.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:10 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top