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I can vouch for the fact that this works. The goal is to establish some minimum rapport while talking to the woman. Nobody just goes up to a stranger out of the blue, blurts a compliment or other comment, then asks for a number.
Do they? That's not how it works.
Apparently, they do.
When I ask people "where do you meet women," the invariable response from both men and women is "everywhere!" And I say "what??" And I am told "you can even meet a woman at a supermarket. In fact, every woman has to eat and consequently they all have to go to supermarkets. It's even better than a club!" Now, I always then go "yeah, right. That's baloney, you mean you actually will approach a woman at a supermarket?" And all the women go, "yeah, you just need to walk up to a woman and start talking! It happens to me all the time!"
But now, all the women are like "if someone comes up to me and I don't know them, then they're rapists to me." OK, fine, but you can't have it both ways. I can buy one OR the other, but not both. Don't tell me half the time that guys are casually striking up conversations with you out of the blue even on street corners and at vending machines and the other half of the time you're Macing them and calling 911 if they come near you.
If men stopped pursuing women, the human race would just die out.
And just before the last woman died, she'd be like "but ...I looked his way and then looked away quickly ...how could he mistake my total interest in him ...?? GAAAAAAK."
and just before the last woman died, she'd be like "but ...i looked his way and then looked away quickly ...how could he mistake my total interest in him ...?? Gaaaaaak."
When I ask people "where do you meet women," the invariable response from both men and women is "everywhere!" And I say "what??" And I am told "you can even meet a woman at a supermarket. In fact, every woman has to eat and consequently they all have to go to supermarkets. It's even better than a club!" Now, I always then go "yeah, right. That's baloney, you mean you actually will approach a woman at a supermarket?" And all the women go, "yeah, you just need to walk up to a woman and start talking! It happens to me all the time!"
You've missed what people have been saying here, including me. The ones who are successful at getting a number in the grocery store are the dudes who chat the women up. They don't just walk up and say, "Hey, you're purty! Can I have your number?" They make light banter. Toss in a joke, maybe, get a chuckle out of her. Smile. Be cheerful. Get her warmed up. Then you ask if you can get her a coffee, or ask for her number.
It's about finesse. Creating rapport with finesse. Can you dig it?
And just before the last woman died, she'd be like "but ...I looked his way and then looked away quickly ...how could he mistake my total interest in him ...?? GAAAAAAK."
Or "I act completely indifferent to his presence. How does he not know I like him???"
But now, all the women are like "if someone comes up to me and I don't know them, then they're rapists to me." OK, fine, but you can't have it both ways. I can buy one OR the other, but not both. Don't tell me half the time that guys are casually striking up conversations with you out of the blue even on street corners and at vending machines and the other half of the time you're Macing them and calling 911 if they come near you.
Keep grinding that axe, and you might cut your hand, or something.
No, that's the strategy the guys here recommend. It's more of a guy thing.
Women do it too. And as far as guys doing it, it only works with the very attractive girls. It doesn't work on the below average, average, or slightly above.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Yes, it was the perfect approach, and he knew enough about me to know that I wasn't married, seeing anyone seriously, a lesbian, bat **** crazy, or blatently uninterested.
But something tells me this sort of "approach" is out of reach for some of our young Struggling Guys. The prefer to walk up to a stranger and awkwardly ask for a phone number.
Not me. What you describe in the first paragraph is almost exactly what I'm looking for.
Exception being that I don't want a date. I would want romance to occur in the normal course of spending time with the person. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for me. Either I tell them how I feel, and they just want to be friends, or I tell the wrong person, that person tells them in the wrong way, and the subject wishes never to speak to me again. Extremely discouraging and sad.
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