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I'm prefacing this with an official grammar and spelling apology
Okay so I like this girl. We used to talk a lot in 10th grade but stopped in 11th after I asked her to hang out and she didn't really take to that.
(She is kinda a introvert who enoys to read. She doesn't have many friends like ones that you can go to for anything. I mean, she has friends but they are more like people you talk to at school.)
We've hung out and talked since then but nothing has truly been the same.
Over the summer, I went to her play in order to support her (& see her), and I also talked to her a bit. When senior year started, we both had AP European History together (among other classes).
My friend called J has also been consistantly trying to get me to do something even resulting to trying to get me jealous about her in order to get me to talk to her. His advice is awful, and I never listen to it. I mean, I am grateful that he cares, but he doesn't understand relationships enought to comment.
My friend also sits with her at lunch and he told me that she brought up the play yesterday and asked why we went. My friend asked what she meant by you guys and she responded by naming everyone from the group of 6 EXCEPT me. He told me that I need to make a better impression on her, but I talked to her that night and she knew I was there. If anything she should have been shocked that I showed up, not unaware. Also, she remembered that my firend's girlfriend who she has barely talked to went but not me.
The next day, he told me that she didnt know that I was in AP Euro (she was naming people in our row and she completely skipped over me apparently). He then told her that I was and that I told a joke in class that everone laughed at (which I dont remember doing). He told me again, "you need to make a bigger impression." But that doesnt make sense either because I am very active in that class (I raise my hand and ask questions, I ask about the Borgias, the teacher uses me in examples, I even WLAKED by her when someone was showing her music and she was leaning over the row and she had to move to let me by the same day she didnt think I was in the class).
This whole thing has me feeling really odd because I always belived her to be a pretty perceptive person. Now, it seems like she is deaf or blind or something because she totally did not listen to me at all when I asked questions or when asked our teacher about the show called the Borgias, or when I WALKED RIGHT BY HER. She even always listens intently in class (she has 6 AP classes).
So my questions are:
Could it be that my friend is just lying to me to get me to do something?
or
Do you think she just forgot me?
or
Is she avoiding mentioning me for somereason and why?
hmm.... My best guess is that she's not mentioning you because she's not comfortable with you. This could be for either of two reasons. 1. She doesn't want to encourage you, because she's not into you. 2. She IS into you, and is self-conscious about it, so she avoids mentioning you.
I realize this is of NO HELP to you at all, lol! But if she's ignoring you, you should back off for awhile. Maybe she'll come around over time.
Why are you worrying about this now? School hasn't started for the fall yet, has it?
And thanks it is help to me. I don't think she is ignoring me though because she will talk to me, and when we did talk she thought I was really funny. In fact just this week she came up to my Physics group and started talking to us. I also saw her in Staples when I was school shopping with my friends. Both times she acted kinda strange. Like she talked in this weird voice told kinda not bad but not good jokes. (Im not trying to imply things I'm just stating my observances).
In the past, she wasn't comfortable with me inviting her places. She would tell her friends at lunch that I did, and one of my friends thought she was annoyed by that fact. However, we went out as a group to O'Charlies since then, I've invited her to chess club and she went, and it has been many months since then. So, I have no idea.
I think the opposite of the above poster. Sounds like she IS interested in you, but doesn't want to be called out on it or admit it to herself yet. When I was a teenager and liked a guy, I'd do similar things. Teenage girls are very strange creatures.
I'd say #3. She's avoiding mentioning you for some reason and the reason is she is aware your friend J is talking to her to gather intel and then going back to you to give a report. If you want to talk to her and she's ok with it, then talk to her. She probably thinks it's lame that you have someone collecting info on her.
And thanks it is help to me. I don't think she is ignoring me though because she will talk to me, and when we did talk she thought I was really funny. In fact just this week she came up to my Physics group and started talking to us. I also saw her in Staples when I was school shopping with my friends. Both times she acted kinda strange. Like she talked in this weird voice told kinda not bad but not good jokes. (Im not trying to imply things I'm just stating my observances).
In the past, she wasn't comfortable with me inviting her places. She would tell her friends at lunch that I did, and one of my friends thought she was annoyed by that fact. However, we went out as a group to O'Charlies since then, I've invited her to chess club and she went, and it has been many months since then. So, I have no idea.
Invite her to another group activity. She seems comfortable with that.
^ Agreed. When I was a teenager I was like that too, if I REALLY liked someone I don't think they would have ever known. Plus the whole relationship thing made me feel a little scared. This might be the case. Having your other friend as a nosy go-between isn't helping.
Maybe give the appearance to your friend that you aren't interested in what he's doing, or eventually let him know that you have a plan of your own and want him to stand by, not try to arrange things.
I think the group things are a good idea, sounds like she's interested in that kind of scenario. Eventually you'll find out more about her from herself, and get an idea of how better to get her attention. With some persistence and attentiveness you may have a break through.
Good luck.
When I was younger I dated some real hotties, I was kind of hot myownself. Several of the girls I dated were Playboy Bunnies at the San Francisco Club, and were aware of their own hotness. I never let their beauty enter into the equation, I always watched their interaction with others, especially with the waiters and servers where we went for dinner or drinks. If they were down to earth and friendly, it was a GO~! If they were arrogant or rude to the help I'd drop them like a hot rock.
Appearance is only a fraction of a relationship, personality is 90% of what matters regardless of how your friends look at it.
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