Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
Same thing over and over.
Okay, you are fighting against a few factors. There is something to your approach that grants you the "creep" label if you are getting that. I don't know who is calling you a perv for looking at online dating. Must be something in your message or your profile.
It could also be that you are approaching the wrong woman. There are some nutcases out there that think every guy is a creep. But those are a minority. If you are finding yourself being branded by the majority of women you approach then you need to step back and think about what you may be doing wrong.
That's actually not true. They are, and they like sex a lot. It varies from woman to woman how quickly they want it (it could be tonight, in a few weeks or a few months), but they do, as much as guys do if not more. But on the surface they will never admit that and they probably have convinced themselves of that lie that they actually believe it.
As a result you have to talk to her like anyone else and do a complicated dance of flirting, but not too much but not too little, to determine if she is sexually attracted to you. Annoying, I know. I tend to err on the too little side and this results in women thinking I don't find them attractive every so often, but I'd rather make that mistake than go too far.
From what I can tell, "creeper" applies to the following:
- Too quick or aggressive sexual advances from a guy - this is regardless of his attractiveness level
- Social awkwardness in a more aggressive way - this is hard to explain, because I'm introverted and not great in groups. But I can hold a conversation if need be. I have a friend who just creeps girls the heck out & has since he was young. He's tall & big, so intimidating, and he doesn't really know how to talk to people, let alone women. Despite being 37 or more now (not sure his exact age), he still hits on mostly women 18-23 in a socially awkward way. Very creepy. He talks really loudly and will randomly yell. I tell him to stop that crap but he's clueless. I'm 31 and can still hit on women as young as 22 or so, in fact the one I'm chatting up now is 21 - but as you get older you have to recognize which younger women are receptive to an older guy & the older you get the smaller the pool is in that age range.
- Not her type, too old, too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, whatever. Don't take that personally.
- Guys that don't take care of themselves - clothes that don't fit, don't shower, don't shave or trim beards, don't have a stylish hairstyle, etc... Pay more than $10 for a haircut - that does wonders, believe me. Also be aware of the way you smell. I've noticed what hair gel I'm wearing can have an effect because women will notice the smell.
When I used to substitute teach, some of the high school girls would call me "creeper" even though I hardly talked to them other than to give them assignments or tell them to be quiet or whatever. Some people have said it's an immature thing and they're right - women that throw out "creeper!" a lot are still in high school mode. Some people don't get over that until well into their 20s. Again, try not to take it personally.
OLD has a lot of men like the friend I described and worse who think that what happens to them IRL won't happen online. Some women over-react to that. This is why I like Tinder better than OLD sites. When girls swipe right on you, there's already an initial attraction. It cuts through all the b.s. cliches that people put on their stupid profiles and there are fewer out of line expectations that make everyone angry at OLD. Everyone thinks they can go on okcupid or match and it'll be like "You've Got Mail" and they're angry when it's not.
I've had better conversations and prospects from two months on Tinder than years on OLD sites.
Last edited by redguard57; 08-09-2014 at 12:55 PM..
It's all in your approach, and, you have to find common ground. Is she in the grocery store with a bag of dog food and you have a dog too? Ask her about her dog. Is she in the salon and she just got a great hair cut? Compliment her on it.
Now, if she's shopping at the mall and you approach her, she'll prob blow you off or walk away, unless you ask for her advice on an uncontroversial gift you're buying for a relative. Do you work with her? Don't do it.
Keep your distance, smile, and act neutral. Most women have an uncanny sense for predators, jerks, liars, cheaters, and Casanova's, so if you're just a Regular Joe who is clean and presentable, you should do just fine.
I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
How do you interact with people in general? I don't see why you think it is so difficult. You have any friends that have female friends? Are you unable to talk to these women? What about women you work with...problems talking to them? No one brands you as a pervert because you do OLD, I don't know why you would think that.
I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
Where do you get the bolded? I know marriages that have results from the guy approaching a woman in public. Some of our members have posted about dating guys who approached them in the grocery store, and other public places. And why would a woman think a guy's message on OLD was about sex, unless he mentions sex? Why do you think women are on OLD in the first place? To get messages from men!
I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Maybe I'm overly optimistic, but most women are not drama queens who believe that most men are creeps or perverts. A sincere, friendly approach to a woman who herself seems friendly and open is not going to end in insults, even if she's not interested.
This is a lie, designed to make you angry at women.
OP, here's how it really works: Women initiate, almost always. Women initiate, and they do it nonverbally, with glances, facial expressions, and body language. They make it very clear that they are interested. If you 'approach' a woman who has not previously initiated, that is what feels creepy.
Most people meet a person they are attracted to (that means you have compatible personalities and values, not just that you like their looks) about once every 6 months or so. Most adults have dry spells that last 2-7 years. If you are expecting more than that, that may be part of your problem. You may be too gullible, believing other guys (IRL and online) who claim they have a different experience.
OP its all in the approach. if you come in with cheezy lines, and an aggressive posture, you are going to be rejected just about every time. if you continue to go back and get rejected by the same woman, then you are getting creepy.
on the other hand, if you approach a woman with respect, and treat her like a lady, even if you use a cheezy opening line, you can crack the door open to try and work your magic. even if she didnt give you any signs that she is open to approach.
and nila is right in that you need to have some form of chemistry for a relationship to get going. be it compatible backgrounds, values, or even a purely physical attraction. the approach gets the door open, the chemistry gets the relationship going, and the work keeps it going.
so do yourself a favor and stop listening to the negative people, and get out there and refine your approach.
I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
Dude, if you're having these problems (hard to believe that it's this bad, to be honest), you're doing it wrong, and you should get help. I'm serious. It really isn't that hard.
Dude, if you're having these problems (hard to believe that it's this bad, to be honest), you're doing it wrong, and you should get help. I'm serious. It really isn't that hard.
You know, before I came to CD-R, I thought every man had basic knowledge on how to assess, initiate/engage women. Boy, I didn't know it was this bad, Lol.
I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
It is better to date women you naturally know at work or school. To ask women in a cold manner is very similar to telemarketing. You get 1 or two hits for every 100 you ask out.
Way better to establish a flirtatious friendship that grows into a relationship with someone you already know.
Where do you get the bolded? I know marriages that have results from the guy approaching a woman in public. Some of our members have posted about dating guys who approached them in the grocery store, and other public places. And why would a woman think a guy's message on OLD was about sex, unless he mentions sex? Why do you think women are on OLD in the first place? To get messages from men!
Is yours a serious post?
He's just telling you what he sees and hears everyday. If a guy approaches a woman and she doesn't find the him attractive she may refer to him as a 'creep'. I see it all the time.
I'll add that some guys don't know how to read signal before approaching a woman. A little eye contact and smile and save a man a rejection and some dignity.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
