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I don't understand the fundamental concept of dating. Basically, I don't know how a man is supposed to interact with women without being classified as a creep or a pervert. If a man approaches a woman in public, he is immediately called a creep. If a guy uses online dating and messages a woman, he is a perv that is just looking for sex. How is a guy supposed to interact with women?
If this is how you see women and dating, I'm afraid there isn't much hope for you. As far as I'm concerned you couldn't be further from the truth, but I think lack of experience adds to that fact.
If this is how you see women and dating, I'm afraid there isn't much hope for you. As far as I'm concerned you couldn't be further from the truth, but I think lack of experience adds to that fact.
Agreed. If you're always getting called a creep, you're doing something seriously wrong, and you should hire a coach to figure out what it is, and to fix it. There's no way a message on OLD could be pervy unless it really is pervy. Don't talk about or insinuate sex on OLD, and you should be fine. You might get ignored anyway, but that's not because they think you're a creep. It just means they're not into you.
actually most guys are clueless to the subtleties of non verbal communication when it comes to women, especially when we are younger. sometimes you have to club us over the head for us to understand.
Relating with the opposite gender is like swimming - something most people can instinctively do but some struggle more than others & some are not as strong at it as others even if they learn.
What I notice is that a lot of people are quick to give up, especially if they're not a strong swimmer, and just avoid the water to save themselves the trouble. Same with dating. I have a friend in her mid 40s that's single and she just avoids dating (as far as I can tell - she may have a life I don't know about). She's decent looking, not beautiful, but not ugly & has a nice personality. She is an amazing cook though, and that alone would attract men but I'm pretty sure she doesn't even try.
I'm one of those people that's comfortable in my own skin and can go long periods, like 6 months to 2-3 years, without a relationship and it doesn't bother me.
I'm learning to live without a woman in my life for a while. To be honest, I don't know when I'll ever ask a woman out again. Just need to be on my own.
Most women aren't able to be in-your-face about their true feelings. They're raised to be people pleasers, to be polite. So they sidestep, or drop timid hints. This isn't necessarily a good thing. Sometimes they need to be upfront and blunt for their own safety, but they can't. Assertiveness is an acquired skill for many. For some men, too.
Most women aren't able to be in-your-face about their true feelings. They're raised to be people pleasers, to be polite. So they sidestep, or drop timid hints. This isn't necessarily a good thing. Sometimes they need to be upfront and blunt for their own safety, but they can't. Assertiveness is an acquired skill for many. For some men, too.
When a woman usually starts a conversation with me, I just assume she's friendly. I don't think nothing of it. I'm not really an assertive person at all when it comes to women.
If this is how you see women and dating, I'm afraid there isn't much hope for you. As far as I'm concerned you couldn't be further from the truth, but I think lack of experience adds to that fact.
Let's not be too harsh with the OP. Unless his post was intentional provocation (unlikely), his is merely a desire to express frustration and to find solace in report of similar experience of others. One hopes that eventually the OP, and other laggards in the intuitive arts of socialization, will either improve their skills, or be greeted with easier opportunities, or both. Until then, it's imperative to avoid phlegmatic self-pity and defeatism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
I'm learning to live without a woman in my life for a while. To be honest, I don't know when I'll ever ask a woman out again. Just need to be on my own.
The irony is that a kind of practiced self-sufficiency is exactly what's advised as the best position from which to eventually find a partner. The "learning to live alone" should not be adaptation to post-apocalyptic collapse, some brutal survivalist struggle in unrelentingly harsh conditions. Instead, one gathers, it should be the natural enjoyment of what's available to the solitary individual, an embrace of the liberation made possible by solitude. Unfortunately this is very difficult after experiencing the elations of a relationship, and believing oneself to have graduated from the tawdry ranks of the uncoupled. It's frustrating to be rudely cast back into the cauldron which took so much fortitude to escape! One questions whether one ought to have ever bothered, and how the emotional investment went so pitifully awry. But can this be helped? No. And so, we plod along.
Do they fit? Are they comfortable, can you be yourself in them???? Do they look good on you, can you see yourself growing older in your new potential pants.....
Do they fit? Are they comfortable, can you be yourself in them???? Do they look good on you, can you see yourself growing older in your new potential pants.....
I think you can get the idea...
It's like dating, except that in dating, you need the pants' cooperation.
Do they fit? Are they comfortable, can you be yourself in them???? Do they look good on you, can you see yourself growing older in your new potential pants.....
I think you can get the idea...
How do they feel on your body... Do they pinch, etc...
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