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My fiance and I went out drinking and dancing about a week ago with his best friend. All 3 of us had been drinking all night long. When I started dancing with his friend Derek, we were acting silly, like we always do, but because of the alcohol, we may have been a little too flirty, we did end up dancing a little close and maybe a little too naughty. But it was all just innocent fun
I admit now that it was probably a mistake, but I thought we were just goofing around and having a good time. We both got lost in the music, people started cheering us on and we just kind of got caught up in the moment. Well apparently my fiance didn't find any of it amusing, he got mad and left the club while we were still dancing.
To make a long story short, he's upset and not talking to either of us. He says we humiliated and disrespected him. I said that I was sorry 100 times and I promised it wouldn't happen again, but he just won't forgive us and let it go. Yes, we screwed up, we had a little too much to drink and yes we got a little carried away, But I honestly can't see why he's making such a big deal out of this? We were only dancing.
It's been 3 days and he's still angry. I sent him a text last night and told him he was being silly, still no reply. What do you guys think? Isn't he over-reacting?
Last edited by Loves2Dance; 08-20-2014 at 05:45 PM..
My fiance and I went out drinking and dancing about a week ago with his best friend. All 3 of us had been drinking all night long. When I started dancing with his friend Derek, we were acting silly, like we always do, but because of the alcohol, we may have been a little too flirty, we did end up dancing a little close and maybe a little too naughty. But it was all just innocent fun
I admit now that it was probably a mistake, but I thought we were just goofing around and having a good time. We both got lost in the music, people started cheering us on and we just kind of got caught up in the moment. Well apparently my fiance didn't find any of it funny, he got mad and left the club while we were still dancing.
To make a long story short, he's upset and not talking to either of us. He says we humiliated and disrespected him. I said that I was sorry 100 times and I promised it wouldn't happen again, but he just won't forgive us and let it go. Yes, we screwed up, we had a little too much to drink and yes we got a little carried away, But I honestly can't see why he's making such a big deal out of this? We were only dancing.
It's been 3 days and he's still angry. I sent him a text last night and told him he was being silly and over-reacting, still no reply. What do you guys think? Isn't he oevr-reacting?
Feelings are neither "right" or "wrong", they just are.
If he has told you he feels disrespected and humiliated than trust that he really feels this way.
As his girlfriend, supposedly the person who really cares about him, you should acknowledge his feelings instead of telling him he is "being silly" or "overreacting".
Such comments do not make him see that you really care.
Feelings are neither "right" or "wrong", they just are.
If he has told you he feels disrespected and humiliated than trust that he really feels this way.
As his girlfriend, supposedly the person who really cares about him, you should acknowledge his feelings instead of telling him he is "being silly" or "overreacting".
Such comments do not make him see that you really care.
But don't you think he was being a little immature when he just got up and left the club like that?
If he was so upset, why just leave and not say anything? why didn't he come out to the dance floor and say something?
Yes, I know I hurt him and I've apologized, but how long will it take for him to get over it?
He knows I love him and neither of us would ever intentionally hurt him
It's been over a week and he's still upset about dancing?
But don't you think he was being a little immature when he just got up and left the club like that?
If he was so upset, why just leave and not say anything? why didn't he come out to the dance floor and say something?
Yes, I know I hurt him and I've apologized, but how long will it take for him to get over it?
He knows I love him and neither of us would ever intentionally hurt him
It's been over a week and he's still upset about dancing?
You are trying to dictate someone else's behavior when you say he should have done things the way you would have done them.
The point is, he was upset and he reacted the way he reacted.
Quit trying to deflect the attention away from your inappropriate behavior by acting like he is the one with the problem.
Honestly I probably would've reacted the same way he did. I guess he feels like you two should know better....especially since it was his friend. I say just leave him be...if he's ignoring your responses constantly apologizing isn't going to change much. You're probably going to have to let his anger subside.
I'm a little surprised you were both in a club dancing to begin with, most couples I know after they get engaged give up the club life, and ease up on the drinking. It's probably just where I am from and they are older. You should know there are things that you should not do in relationship drinking too much and dancing with his friend is not something "silly" to a person who wanted to marry you.
My fiance and I went out drinking and dancing about a week ago with his best friend. All 3 of us had been drinking all night long. When I started dancing with his friend Derek, we were acting silly, like we always do, but because of the alcohol, we may have been a little too flirty, we did end up dancing a little close and maybe a little too naughty. But it was all just innocent fun
I admit now that it was probably a mistake, but I thought we were just goofing around and having a good time. We both got lost in the music, people started cheering us on and we just kind of got caught up in the moment. Well apparently my fiance didn't find any of it amusing, he got mad and left the club while we were still dancing.
To make a long story short, he's upset and not talking to either of us. He says we humiliated and disrespected him. I said that I was sorry 100 times and I promised it wouldn't happen again, but he just won't forgive us and let it go. Yes, we screwed up, we had a little too much to drink and yes we got a little carried away, But I honestly can't see why he's making such a big deal out of this? We were only dancing.
It's been 3 days and he's still angry. I sent him a text last night and told him he was being silly, still no reply. What do you guys think? Isn't he over-reacting?
I think your 100 sorrys mean nothing.
You don't tell someone how to react.
He's making a big deal out of it because you and his friend might as well had sex right there in the club.
I think he ought to make a decision on moving forward or not. Just being angry isn't the answer. He needs to call off the wedding and move on.
You got "lost in the music" dancing with some dude with people cheering you on and somehow your fiance isn't supposed to be mad about it? I'd be pretty livid if it were me and my fiance was dirty dancing with my friend while people cheered and I was ignored.
As for why he didn't come out on the dance floor...he probably didn't want to cause a scene.
I agree with loveMountains that you invalidated his feelings by telling him he was being silly. Instead of making it about him, make it about you. Maybe you could make some sort of gesture of affection or ask him why he feels so bad and let him talk it out. Make him feel like you actually do care about his feelings.
I like how whenever someone F's up and alcohol is involved, it's the alcohol's fault.
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