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No, people are not amazed.
Many people in my area have long and happy marriages.
Yep. Of all the people in our circle of acquaintances over the past twenty years, there's only been one divorce. And there's only one marriage that I wouldn't describe as happy.
Personally, I think if all your friends are having constant drama and living at the marriage counselors, then I'd be questioning my choice of friends. Because happy marriages aren't a matter of luck but rather a question of wisdom applied to the choices you make, day after day after day.
Firstly, choose wisely. Secondly, getting out is not an option. If getting out when the going gets tough is an option, nobody would ever stay together.
The secret is selflessness on the part of both partners. He does his best to take care of me, and I do my best to take care of him. Do we fall short sometimes? Sure.
We divide up things. He kills the bugs, takes out the trash, and handles car and home repairs, and I cook and care for him, and handle the money. Its a pretty good arrangement and it works for us. He is a considerate, respectful person, and I try to be the same.
If I don't feel like doing the dishes, he will. If I see the trash can at the curb, I bring it in. Its give and take.
Like Pitt Chick said, in our circle no one is divorced either. Interestingly, I noticed when our kids were young, all the families of their friends were intact also. Some make fun of the family values issues, but they are a really important component to the strength of our society.
Be willing to give more than you receive. Be free with compliments and have a willingness to express your love not only in words, but in ways that will count. Doing the little things that are so easy to do, and the things you know will make your mate happy are important. Find ways to put your mate on a pedestal for the whole world to see. Forgive, forget, and keep your mouth shut.
duration of a marriage is not indicative of the quality of the marriage, this is a common fallacy. I know my cousin and his wife have been married for 28 years but their marriage is a mess... they are always at the brink of divorce but neither can go through with it because neither has the balls to pull the trigger. They just stick around because neither wants to be lonely at their age (they are in their 60s) and constantly fight. However outwardly they look like an amazing endurance of love LMAO! because "they have been married 28 years".
I know way too many people like this in extremely lousy long term marriages.
Firstly, choose wisely. Secondly, getting out is not an option. If getting out when the going gets tough is an option, nobody would ever stay together.
The secret is selflessness on the part of both partners. He does his best to take care of me, and I do my best to take care of him. Do we fall short sometimes? Sure.
We divide up things. He kills the bugs, takes out the trash, and handles car and home repairs, and I cook and care for him, and handle the money. Its a pretty good arrangement and it works for us. He is a considerate, respectful person, and I try to be the same.
If I don't feel like doing the dishes, he will. If I see the trash can at the curb, I bring it in. Its give and take.
Like Pitt Chick said, in our circle no one is divorced either. Interestingly, I noticed when our kids were young, all the families of their friends were intact also. Some make fun of the family values issues, but they are a really important component to the strength of our society.
I do know people in long lasting marriages who are divorcees. For whatever reason, the first marriage didn't work out but the second one did last long term. And just because no one in your circle of friends is divorced doesn't say much. I notice when people like to present their family as ideal, there's always people connected to that couple who have major life issues. I'm sure your friends have friends or siblings that are divorced or have other issues.
duration of a marriage is not indicative of the quality of the marriage, this is a common fallacy. I know my cousin and his wife have been married for 28 years but their marriage is a mess... they are always at the brink of divorce but neither can go through with it because neither has the balls to pull the trigger. They just stick around because neither wants to be lonely at their age (they are in their 60s) and constantly fight. However outwardly they look like an amazing endurance of love LMAO! because "they have been married 28 years".
I know way too many people like this in extremely lousy long term marriages.
There was a song about this kind of marriage. It's cheaper to keep her. LOL
Are people amazed when you share the amount of years you have been married? What is a common response?
Not really. Most of our friends have been married for a similar number of years. Both sets of parents have been married over fifty, and all four sets of our grandparents were married for that or longer. Maybe that's part of our success. We've had very good examples.
I do know people in long lasting marriages who are divorcees. For whatever reason, the first marriage didn't work out but the second one did last long term. And just because no one in your circle of friends is divorced doesn't say much. I notice when people like to present their family as ideal, there's always people connected to that couple who have major life issues. I'm sure your friends have friends or siblings that are divorced or have other issues.
Fair point. Although we were both divorced before we met each other, we've been together 36 years. My point is I think we gravitate towards other like minded people. Of course, divorce can happen to folks despite trying to do everything right.
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