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I think that thinking in terms of won/lost is an automatic fail. You got the stuff off your chest, you don't expect to run into him again, so it's all cool.
This guy must be hawt, sice you keep going back to him, but he clearly has Issues with a capital I. He is not going to change. He is not going to have some big epiphany and decide to work on his stuff (or just get over it instantly). He has serious emotional problems in relation to women, and women's bodies, and control. Being in an actual relationship with him would be a nightmare, would be psychologically damaging to you, and might be physically dangerous.
Find a different guy.
I have no intention of taking him back. I just wanted to know if me taking the time to give him a piece of mind and telling him he was full of it was an inroad. That's what my sister and friend say. They say I gave him hope and a roadmap to win me back. Unlikely. He's too lazy and chicken to do anything more than he has already done. Another way to put it, not interested in me. I thought I did myself a favor by letting it out.
If you have any intention of keeping this guy, which I assume you do since you posted this, I would suggest you start first by cleaning your bedroom. He sounds like kind of a clean freak, but if you want him, I guess its a package deal. So you have a simple decision to make, up your cleanliness or forget him. I'd suggest you not contact or call him any more until you've cleaned up your bedroom. And it wouldn't help to admit you were wrong about some of your previous conflicts.
You might as well face some facts. AS you get older, the availability of available men decreases. Most men know this, and can be pickier. You may even have to do the pursuing to get one. I know of women who definitely are.
I think you both are drama queens who thrive on turmoil and really don't like each other but keep going back.
Kind of like the moth to the flame, they know it's going to hurt but they go back anyway.
My suggestion is to clean up your home if you think it may be an issue and keep it clean. If you don't want to do it yourself hire someone to do it for you.
Continue to go to the singles events and be cordial but distant.
Carry on with living your life the way you do and quit being the moth for crying out loud.
On off relationships never healthy.
Planned or unplanned house needs to be tidy and cleaned and vacuumed or mopped, where a human living. Seems you are totally messed lady. If your house is not cleaned bed cloths are not washed, cloths are not washed there is not use you have a shower because your house is already got germs and skin mites. Bed sheets needs to be cleaned every three days if you want to talk about hygiene . Dishes need to be washed right away other wise you will end up having non stop diarrhea.
I am sure he mention about skin mite that is not visible to eye that grow up in messy houses. when that bites getting red rashes and start itching very badly. That is honestly pain full to be honest I have faced to that my self in a nasty house of a friend of mine. where exactly look like what you describe.
I am taking two times a shower before I go to work and after come home before go to bed.
I think your boy friend is right. you are wrong. If you are wrong I don't see any problem with admitting it and take it as a lesson to develop your self don't you think? That might help you to have a good strong healthy relationship. If I am wrong I am admitting it and may be I will say I am truly sorry for what happened.
The answer yes you lost him. And cannot blame him either. Good luck!
Thank you for your opinion. I pay for the roof over my head and I'm entitled to keep my house any which way I feel. For you to have input in how I keep a house I live in -- you'd better be paying the rent. That's first foremost and he has no right to say anything because his visits to my house were sporadic. I wasn't trying to get back with him, he was trying to get back with me. So how bad could I be? It's bull. I'm not wrong.
If you have any intention of keeping this guy, which I assume you do since you posted this, I would suggest you start first by cleaning your bedroom. He sounds like kind of a clean freak, but if you want him, I guess its a package deal. So you have a simple decision to make, up your cleanliness or forget him. I'd suggest you not contact or call him any more until you've cleaned up your bedroom. And it wouldn't help to admit you were wrong about some of your previous conflicts.
You might as well face some facts. AS you get older, the availability of available men decreases. Most men know this, and can be pickier. You may even have to do the pursuing to get one. I know of women who definitely are.
Who cares, a lot of women do not live their lives to please men and the most important thing in their life is not a relationship with a jerk or even being in a relationship. If they are great, if not great and life does actually move forward, the moon rises, the sun sets and all is right within their world either way.
I don't wrap my identity around my Husband or any other man, it is not required and women can be just as picky about men no matter what their age if they want to.
This is interesting to me because I'm not a clean freak either. My bedroom is a wreck and I literally wake up and tell myself, you're never going to find a decent man with a room like this! (maybe that stems from the fact that my (well-meaning) parents used to tell me to clean my ears, or I'd never find a man or that my dad would bring the outside big garbage can and put it in my room when it got messy LMAO).
That aside, this guys sounds like a jerk and not a good match. I know how hard it is to not dwell on someone you like though and be tunnel-visioned. Try to "clean up your act" all-around, literally and figuratively, and I'm sure you will meet Mr. Right soon. (and you can tell ME the same!)
a) on and off never works for long
b) why do you let him do this with you?
c) after the first rude comment I would say GOOD BYE!
He is either a clean freak (run) or are you one of these people who are messy and dirty (like the HOARDER people) and don't realize it? No offense, just wondering.
No I'm not. Like I said the common areas are decent. His only serious complaint (if true) would be my bedroom.
Why do some people thrive on these drama-filled, toxic relationships? Why would anyone want to be with someone who tried to put them down or feel bad about themselves? Whom they argue with every time they see one another and where there is clearly ZERO mutual respect?? This is such a mystery to me!
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(and you can tell ME the same!)
