Getting my boyfriend to be more affectionate? (date, boyfriends, girlfriends)
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I have been with my boyfriend for four years he's been my first everything and I love him. The problem is that he's not affectionate at all. He never wants to kiss or cuddle. He is not into holding hands or anything like that. Like I get if he just wasnt into the whole pda thing but he's always like that even when we are alone. If I try to initiate anything he either just lets me and doesn't reciprocate or gets an annoyed tone and tells me to stop.
I know he's attracted to me and our sex life is fine. He just never wants to be romantic with me or anything.
I got to thinking about this because we went to a show together the other night and we were behind this couple that kept kissing on each other. Not obnoxiously so or anything but the guy kept whispering to her and kissing her and after the show I mentioned to him how cute they were (as kind of a hint) and my boyfriend said, " If you think he's so great date him." Of course we had had a couple drinks and he's sarcastic anyway.
All other aspects of the relationship are good. I have only ever been with him so I was wondering if it's normal for guys not to be affectionate? I have friends that have boyfriends who are passionate and all over them. I know it sounds weird but like I literally ache I want it so badly. Touch drives me crazy and without it I get bummed. But he's just not affectionate and I don't get why :/
Even before we get into the mood I wish he would grab me up and kiss me haha. But he never does.
I have been with my boyfriend for four years he's been my first everything and I love him. The problem is that he's not affectionate at all. He never wants to kiss or cuddle. He is not into holding hands or anything like that. Like I get if he just wasnt into the whole pda thing but he's always like that even when we are alone. If I try to initiate anything he either just lets me and doesn't reciprocate or gets an annoyed tone and tells me to stop.
I know he's attracted to me and our sex life is fine. He just never wants to be romantic with me or anything.
I got to thinking about this because we went to a show together the other night and we were behind this couple that kept kissing on each other. Not obnoxiously so or anything but the guy kept whispering to her and kissing her and after the show I mentioned to him how cute they were (as kind of a hint) and my boyfriend said, " If you think he's so great date him." Of course we had had a couple drinks and he's sarcastic anyway.
All other aspects of the relationship are good. I have only ever been with him so I was wondering if it's normal for guys not to be affectionate? I have friends that have boyfriends who are passionate and all over them. I know it sounds weird but like I literally ache I want it so badly. Touch drives me crazy and without it I get bummed. But he's just not affectionate and I don't get why :/
Even before we get into the mood I wish he would grab me up and kiss me haha. But he never does.
No, its not normal at all.
Whats normal is that if a guy really likes you he will be very affectionate towards you.
I have never been with a guy who was not affectionate, and some guys have been a little too "all over me" even, haha. I would never date a guy who didn't want to kiss or cuddle. If some dude wanted to just have sex with me all the time without the kissing or cuddling, I would tell him he needs a prostitute not a girlfriend.
I do not know your boyfriend though to be able to say why he is like that with you. Has he been like this with all his girlfriends? Does he ever kiss you at all? Have you two discussed this issue?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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After four years, it should be apparent that this is just who he is. Gotta decide whether you want him or more affection. That is what it comes down to.
It's something you really need to consider before committing any longer term than you already have. If this is something really important to you (and it's not even slightly weird that it would be), really strongly consider that.
Don't stay with somebody out of habit if you're not happy. And not ever being treated with affection (somebody having sex with you doesn't necessarily count as affection, either, particularly if they never ever show affection on a day-to-day, nonsexual basis) is a big deal. Also, he get annoyed and tells you to stop when you show affection? Somebody being annoyed when YOU show THEM affection is absolutely unacceptable.
Really, you won't "get him" to be more affectionate. The options before you are to accept the way he is and to determine what you can and can't live with and stay or leave, accordingly.
I have never been with a guy who was not affectionate, and some guys have been a little too "all over me" even, haha. I would never date a guy who didn't want to kiss or cuddle. If some dude wanted to just have sex with me all the time without the kissing or cuddling, I would tell him he needs a prostitute not a girlfriend.
I do not know your boyfriend though to be able to say why he is like that with you. Has he been like this with all his girlfriends? Does he ever kiss you at all? Have you two discussed this issue?
haha wow I'd KILL for that.
I don't know. He says he's just not like that & he goes on rants about guys that are and how un-necessary it is.
Once he had shrooms (which was out of character for him) and he was randomly super affectionate but that was three years ago.
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