Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What if one of the partners in an opposite sex friendship is involved in a serious dating relationship, which their opposite sex friend was made aware of by him or her, and that person realizes that their friend is the perfect mate for them.
I don't think I could date someone that rejected me first for someone else. I wouldn't think they were serious and it would come off as being greedy. I have no probs being friends with people that may have rejected me, unless I have hardcore feelings for them.
For me, it wouldn't matter if a lightbulb came on for them years later... I hold grudges. Yes I know it's probably a character flaw, but whatever.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,091,317 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
What if one of the partners in an opposite sex friendship is involved in a serious dating relationship, which their opposite sex friend was made aware of by him or her, and that person realizes that their friend is the perfect mate for them.
?
I've been in that situation before. I developed feelings for T but she was in a relationship. They broke up, and we were close enough that she told me how bad the relationship was. It was with another woman (t was bisexual although preferred women). The stupid act on my part was trusting her other female friend J, who had feelings for T. I stupidly told J how I felt about T, and even though I told J twice that I had no intention of pursuing it, J not only repeats this to T but edits what I said so as to make me sound like a "typical male pig".
So T not only did not reciprocate my feelings, which would have been bad enough, but says she feels"uncomfortable". I was devastated. I cried. I felt depressed for two months afterward. We never went back to being friends even though I sent her a couple tearful voicemails and two emails about it.
Really sad because we'd known each other two years.
I've been in that situation before. I developed feelings for T but she was in a relationship. They broke up, and we were close enough that she told me how bad the relationship was. It was with another woman (t was bisexual although preferred women). The stupid act on my part was trusting her other female friend J, who had feelings for T. I stupidly told J how I felt about T, and even though I told J twice that I had no intention of pursuing it, J not only repeats this to T but edits what I said so as to make me sound like a "typical male pig".
So T not only did not reciprocate my feelings, which would have been bad enough, but says she feels"uncomfortable". I was devastated. I cried. I felt depressed for two months afterward. We never went back to being friends even though I sent her a couple tearful voicemails and two emails about it.
Really sad because we'd known each other two years.
You should have told T that J lied about it because she wanted to break up your friendship. Then you could have told T that you told J that you thought she was cute, as in your opinion, not attraction though. Like cute but not your type.
For me it would only be a matter of timing...ie. I found him attractive from the get-go, but the timing was off. Someone doesn't ever grow on me for years; but perhaps they may grow, er, "off" me :P.
---
And the OP is yet another example of a man who doesn't find all his female friends attractive and is only friends because of someone desire to hook-up/date them.
For me it would only be a matter of timing...ie. I found him attractive from the get-go, but the timing was off. Someone doesn't ever grow on me for years; but perhaps they may grow, er, "off" me :P.
yeah, i agree that is they aren't your type they won't become your type. it's more timing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
