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Another thread got me thinking. I don't think I've fallen for a friend after knowing them a long time. But I had it happen to 2 of my friends towards me.
First example, I met a girl though a group of friends. She immediately dated one of my friends. We hung out and got along great. They broke up. But we stayed friends. We had a lot of fun together. We never decided to date or talked about that. This went on for a few years. Then out of the blue, we were sitting across from each other and she said she was in love with me.
Another friend I met at a bar. We were playing pool and talking, having a good time. I liked her. We hung out. I went in for a kiss and she rejected me. We became friends and hung out for 4 years. One day out of the blue, she asked if she could be my girlfriend.
Both times I wasn't interested. I guess I moved on.
So, I don't get it. No dating. Such a long time knowing each other and they want to go from friends to "in love" or "girlfriend". Not, "do you want to go on a date?"
Does anyone know why this is? How can people go from a few years of friendship to wanting something pretty serious, without any indication to me that this is developing? I have just one theory, but I want to hear other peoples opinions.
Does anyone know why this is? How can people go from a few years of friendship to wanting something pretty serious, without any indication to me that this is developing? I have just one theory, but I want to hear other peoples opinions.
Familiarity. They know you well. One day, it just dawns on them that they always have fun in your company, you're a great guy--honest, respectful and kind, all that good stuff, and it hits them--this is someone in the general ballpark of my ideal guy! This could work! He's been right under my nose all this time!
It just hits, like a bolt from the blue. Or maybe after a few failed relationships, they realize that the (potentially) real deal was their old pal, you. Sometimes this realization happens to both parties at the same time. Other times--not.
I have had a few confessions from guy friends, but there was only one I liked back and I believe I was the one on the other end. He said he liked me for a long time but I don't think he did. At least not as much as I did.
There's this long held belief that we get told by our parents/grandparents, that friends make the best mates. Sometimes that's true. We also see it a lot on television shows and movies. Unfortunately, I don't see it happening in real life. Usually it's one person who decides they want the other one, but the friendzone is already well in place.
So, I don't get it. No dating. Such a long time knowing each other and they want to go from friends to "in love" or "girlfriend". Not, "do you want to go on a date?"
My theory is that both of them got to know me well and I grew on them.
The one who wanted to be my gf, probably wanted a boyfriend at the time. So it was just good timing for her. I said no and she moved onto another friend. But before that she didn't date, that I know of.
The other I had gone on a trip with. She got to spend 24/7 with me for a week and said I was really easy to be with. Maybe that tipped the scales in the right direction.
Because love is a friendship. Love without friendship is just a sex.
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