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I don't think anyone should apologize for who they're attracted to, but if you have some personal issues you want to overcome then maybe this would be a good way to do it.
Being attracted to overweight women or not is a matter of taste and not necessarily shallow to begin with. People like what they like.
Speaking more to the point of the thread, not entering into a long term, serious relationship or marriage with someone because they might develop diabetes or heart disease is a bit odd to me. The vast majority of people develop various health concerns when they get older and there is that whole "in sickness and in health" thing in most wedding vows.
I can't imagine denying myself love I feel for someone just because they might have health complications down the road or die sooner than I do. If it is love, enjoy the time you have.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with gently bringing up health concerns with your significant other.
In theory, it's not wrong to want someone healthy.
However, I sometimes find the standards a bit ridiculous. When I hear someone call a 5'6, 147 lb woman a "pig" or "huge" it does p*ss me off, since that's a far cry from someone who is "Biggest Loser" material.
My wife and I both could stand to lose 20 or 30 lbs. Yet, neither of us are what I'd consider "fat" people per se, and we're still very hot for each other. We want each other to be healthy, but accept that as we get into our 40s (me) or later 30s (her) we aren't going to look like we did at 22. In fact, what my wife considers "flaws" - like her larger-than-it-used-to-be rear end, soft poochy tummy area, and stretch marks from pregnancy, are things I consider very beautiful, even sexy, and I mean that, 100%, because it's part of who she is.
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First off all, most self proclaimed BBWs are mostly BUWs, and that acronym is way over used. I'm sorry, but fat and out of shape is not known as "beautiful" in our society in this day and age no matter how hard they try. Secondly, I'm not attracted to people that don't take care of themselves period. That's my prerogative, and I don't care of people think it's shallow or not. In my opinion, relationships are much more healthy (pun intended) if the couple are of compatible looks and health.
Being attracted to overweight women or not is a matter of taste and not necessarily shallow to begin with. People like what they like.
Speaking more to the point of the thread, not entering into a long term, serious relationship or marriage with someone because they might develop diabetes or heart disease is a bit odd to me. The vast majority of people develop various health concerns when they get older and there is that whole "in sickness and in health" thing in most wedding vows.
I can't imagine denying myself love I feel for someone just because they might have health complications down the road or die sooner than I do. If it is love, enjoy the time you have.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with gently bringing up health concerns with your significant other.
The same people who would cite "health reasons" for being against dating a larger person, would probably throw a fit if a poster said they didn't want to date someone with something like Crohn's Disease, or a similar non-life-threatening but chronic illness.
I would assume that men who turn down women due to the health concerns of being overweight will also turn women who are not overweight down for any other unhealthy habits, practices, or conditions. You know, since they're all about the health.
My ex was bulimic, very thin, and incapable of much physical activity beyond walking half a mile. I bike and walk a lot and am pretty active. Though her health issues weren't the main reason I broke up with her, they certainly made the relationship more difficult. Since neither of us owned a car, there were a LOT of things we couldn't do together because she simply didn't have the strength or energy. Of course, I still asked her out and started dating her in the first place, but at the time I didn't know these things about her. If I had, I probably wouldn't have asked her out. I'd probably have similar issues dating someone who was morbidly obese, except I could see right away that she probably couldn't keep up biking or walking. She might be able to keep up, but it's unlikely. But even disregarding that, I've simply never been even remotely physically attracted to a very obese person. I wish that wasn't the case, because that narrows the dating pool down a LOT for me, but I can't suddenly be attracted to someone I really, really don't ever want to see naked. That may sound mean, but it's the truth.
Being attracted to someone is definitely a personal thing...but the OP already said he was attracted to this girl. It seems his only concern is her future health. And while that may be a noble concern, there's a lot that can happen to either or both of them over the next 5, 20, 40 years. Both good and bad.
Generally, I am not, but she's the only "obese" woman, that I am attracted to. She's not grossly obese,(5ft 3 and maybe just over 200, like Melissa McCarthy), but, again, possible future health issues, have me skiddish
You think Melissa McCarthy is "just over" 200? Wow, guys really can't tell how much women weigh, can they
Like Timberline said, if you aren't attracted to her, you just aren't. And yes, health is a valid concern.
What it comes down to is this: Your reasons for not wanting to date someone are nobody's business but your own.
In theory, it's not wrong to want someone healthy.
However, I sometimes find the standards a bit ridiculous. When I hear someone call a 5'6, 147 lb woman a "pig" or "huge" it does p*ss me off, since that's a far cry from someone who is "Biggest Loser" material.
My wife and I both could stand to lose 20 or 30 lbs. Yet, neither of us are what I'd consider "fat" people per se, and we're still very hot for each other. We want each other to be healthy, but accept that as we get into our 40s (me) or later 30s (her) we aren't going to look like we did at 22. In fact, what my wife considers "flaws" - like her larger-than-it-used-to-be rear end, soft poochy tummy area, and stretch marks from pregnancy, are things I consider very beautiful, even sexy, and I mean that, 100%, because it's part of who she is.
This is why I say that men have no idea how much women weigh. 5'6" and 147 is a normal range, and if you posted a picture of the woman no one would think she was a pig, but going by just the weight some men would declare her fat.
Wasn't there a guy on here who wanted a girl who was no more than 115 with natural D cups? Lol. Good luck with that.
I would assume that men who turn down women due to the health concerns of being overweight will also turn women who are not overweight down for any other unhealthy habits, practices, or conditions. You know, since they're all about the health.
I would not date a smoker. I would not date a heavy or regular drinker. I would not date someone who eats fast food on a regular basis or has a poor diet overall.
I would much rather date a woman 15lbs overweight that LEGITIMATELY eats right, and exercises, over a woman who smokes or drinks, looks great, but doesn't exercise and has a poor diet.
Granted, there are very very few women who ACTUALLY eat right, and exercise, that are more than 15 lbs heavier than they should be. Just eating healthy isn't enough, if you don't actually know how MUCH you're eating.. I have helped countless people over the years with diets and exercise, and everyone that actually did what I told them too started losing weight. In fact, nearly all even admitted they were rarely hungry. The reason most stop is because they don't want to cook, or it's not as enjoyable as having frozen pizzas for dinner and McDonalds for lunch.
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