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I have had a couple of women who come nowhere near meeting my standards throw themselves at me. I've turned it down. I don't know if its an age thing, but maybe it is. I don't mean as in physically, because I could have sex daily if I was with the right woman, but hooking up with someone I'm not interested in having a relationship with would just make me regret it the next day. I think I've always been like this, though there have been times when I made the mistake of hooking up with a woman who I wouldn't ordinarily hook up with. Those days are over.
You want to talk afterwards right? Otherwise, just hire a prostitute. You are paying them to leave, not to have sex with you.
Thats where I am at, its quality of quantity. It doesn't mean you don't like casual, fast sex. If I date a woman, I'll tell her, I like sex in the morning, during the day, at night, while doing laundry, while cooking dinner, anytime is fine with me. Its the times when we aren't having sex, do I find her attractive then? Are we able to converse for more then 30 minutes without either of us grabbing a cell phone to play a game or check an internet forum? If not, then we probably just aren't good for one another, and why waste my time?
It's never really been something that appealed to me.
For me, sexual attraction goes deeper than looks. I need to see the personality as well, their ins and outs. So, sleeping with someone based on hotness alone, or just because I can, isn't my thing-just not very appealing. I am more of a commitment-minded person.
It's never really been something that appealed to me.
For me, sexual attraction goes deeper than looks. I need to see the personality as well, their ins and outs. So, sleeping with someone based on hotness alone, or just because I can, isn't my thing-just not very appealing. I am more of a commitment-minded person.
Ever strip down with a girl you just meet but really clicked with and shined the hood of her car?
You've never quite lived until you have. It doesn't mean that you have sex with every woman, but the experience itself can be extraordinary.
When I was much younger casual sex was fine.... I'm not against casual sex, but I'm not really for it either..... I think sex is much more powerful than we allow it to be......
Ever strip down with a girl you just meet but really clicked with and shined the hood of her car?
You've never quite lived until you have. It doesn't mean that you have sex with every woman, but the experience itself can be extraordinary.
Well, I'm not a lesbian. So, girls don't interest me. As for guys, no chemistry, or personality attraction, no sex. Just something I would be happier doing with a guy I cared for, and I felt he cared for me in return. Not a spur of the moment-unless the moment is with my SO lol
You want to talk afterwards right? Otherwise, just hire a prostitute. You are paying them to leave, not to have sex with you.
Thats where I am at, its quality of quantity. It doesn't mean you don't like casual, fast sex. If I date a woman, I'll tell her, I like sex in the morning, during the day, at night, while doing laundry, while cooking dinner, anytime is fine with me. Its the times when we aren't having sex, do I find her attractive then? Are we able to converse for more then 30 minutes without either of us grabbing a cell phone to play a game or check an internet forum? If not, then we probably just aren't good for one another, and why waste my time?
Agree. Its about quality over quantity. I have a good buddy who wants quantity. I've never been that way.
Well, I'm not a lesbian. So, girls don't interest me. As for guys, no chemistry, or personality attraction, no sex. Just something I would be happier doing with a guy I cared for, and I felt he cared for me in return.
My apologies, but a quick, casual fling can be fun. You just want it to be with someone who understands a multiplication table afterwards.
Most women are as you are, they want a feeling, a relationship, a personal liking for the person. I am of the belief that with some people, you can feel that way instantly, even if just for a night. Life is to short not to have flings and one night stands, but it is to short to keep them around just for the sex side of it, and if you can't connect with them, why have sex?
My apologies, but a quick, casual fling can be fun. You just want it to be with someone who understands a multiplication table afterwards.
Most women are as you are, they want a feeling, a relationship, a personal liking for the person. I am of the belief that with some people, you can feel that way instantly, even if just for a night. Life is to short not to have flings and one night stands, but it is to short to keep them around just for the sex side of it, and if you can't connect with them, why have sex?
I am of the belief that life's too short to waste on that. I want emotional intimacy, and maybe marriage one day, and wasting time of flings won't help, when I could be travelling and meeting someone, and building something of substance. Have no issues if people do it-it's pretty standard now. That's their belief and life. For me, I don't do flings. Sex comes with risks, and if I am going to be taking them, it won't be on a fling who I don't like, or know, or who's gonna want me to get lost afterward, whom I don't know if he's clean, or not. Too disconnected for me.
Sure you can lust for someone instantly. But not me. Even with sexual attraction, still need to know the character of the guy, trust needs to be established, and get a read of him. It's just like that for some-they need the emotional connection before the sex. Just like how some people are asexual-you can't get how one could not like, or care for sex, but that;s just the way they are.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
I am of the belief that life's too short to waste on that. I want emotional intimacy, and maybe marriage one day, and wasting time of flings won't help, when I could be travelling and meeting someone, and building something of substance. Have no issues if people do it-it's pretty standard now, apparently. That's their belief and life. For me, I don't do flings. Sex comes with risks, and if I am going to be taking them, it won't be on a fling who I don't like, or who's gonna want me to get lost afterward. Too disconnected for me. If I just wanna get off, I can use a vibrator for that. Sure you can lust for someone instantly. But not me. Even with sexual attraction, still need to know the character of the guy, trust needs to be established, and get a read of him. It's just like that for some-they need the emotional connection before the sex. Just like how some people are asexual-you can't get how one could not like, or care for sex, but that;s just the way they are.
You have to do what works for you, but a ONS or a vacation fling every now and then isn't going to get in the way of connecting for a fling with someone. You're going to bed that night anyway, doing it with someone else isn't going to change that.
Also, a large percentage of marriages come from ONS and flings that keep on going. Probably 75-80% of the weddings I've been to since my early 30s started as bar/party/whatever hook ups and kept on going. That is how I met my girlfriend, and that is probably the most common non OLD of relationship establishment.
Again, you have to do with what works for you, but it is a false dichotomy to say either a person is looking/having hookups or they're looking for a serious relationship (you aren't the only one saying that). Both can be going on simultaneously.
I am of the belief that life's too short to waste on that. I want emotional intimacy, and maybe marriage one day, and wasting time of flings won't help, when I could be travelling and meeting someone, and building something of substance. Have no issues if people do it-it's pretty standard now, apparently. That's their belief and life. For me, I don't do flings. Sex comes with risks, and if I am going to be taking them, it won't be on a fling who I don't like, or who's gonna want me to get lost afterward, whom I don't know if he's clean, or not. Too disconnected for me.
If I just wanna get off, I can use a vibrator for that. Sure you can lust for someone instantly. But not me. Even with sexual attraction, still need to know the character of the guy, trust needs to be established, and get a read of him. It's just like that for some-they need the emotional connection before the sex. Just like how some people are asexual-you can't get how one could not like, or care for sex, but that;s just the way they are.
Never have any free time when you're alone, the house is clean, all your friends are out of town, and you just don't have anything to do?
No, there is a time and place for every adventure.
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As for guys, no chemistry, or personality attraction, no sex. Just something I would be happier doing with a guy I cared for, and I felt he cared for me in return. Not a spur of the moment-unless the moment is with my SO lol
