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I learned that years before the OLD experiments. A woman can seem mousy and yet be very superficial (her neurosis and/or low sex drive likely makes her hypocritical about appearance). But it really doesn't matter much whether the woman in the article is that (and I doubt low sex drive on her part - too chunky and proactive), because few people with reasonable standards want what she's selling. Which is basically unflavored oatmeal.
I know BBW women get dates, but OLD is notoriously cruel in that respect. that's all I was saying. And she didn't give it enough time. How long was she on there? A week or two? Some of the people she messaged could have been dead accounts.
I have tried Match and OK Cupid here and there, and I never had much luck. I still have an OKC profile up, but I cancelled my Match subscription, having decided that a pay-to-play dating site was not worth it. I actually had more responses and interest on OKC ( the free version), so I decided to just keep that. But as someone else on here stated, online dating seems backwards or artificial. I much prefer meeting someone in person, getting to know them, and then possibly dating if both parties are interested. Reading a dating profile and browsing profile pics is a poor substitute for real-world interaction. It's difficult to read a person or gauge their possible compatibility simply based on their written word and picture selection. But online dating is a good way to at least make an initial connection with someone; it weeds out having to find someone in real-time and having to make a cold approach. And for guys like me who have no interest in clubbing, partying, bar-hopping, drinking, or any of that, it's a viable avenue to potentially meet a date.
But for me, I have yet to meet someone online to whom I find attractive or compatible. I don't profess to be Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt or anything, but I like what I like. I have to find a girl somewhat attractive or else there would be no point in pursuing. And when I say attractive, I don't mean super-model/sexpot looks; I just mean reasonably attractive -- at least to me.
And then there are the attitudes and stringent criteria that many women online have. I can understand having expectations and base criteria for a potential suitor or mate, but to me, many women online act as if they are in the top 3% of available females and as a result deserve THE BEST in a partner. That sense of entitlement and arrogance makes even the most attractive females look like junkyard dogs!
People have to have some sort of criteria, they can't just message everyone on the site, lol! Finding mutual interest is just as challenging in OLD as it is IRL. If you like someone, they have to like you back, or it's a no-go. Plus taking into consideration that every OLD site has a certain percentage of defunkt accounts and fake accounts, it's not as easy as people think. And I wonder if OLD also has dudes on there who prefer to do the approaching, and who think women who make the first move are too bold.
Damn, dude--people don't message her back, so you're blaming her instead of them? What a head trip!
I am a bit fuzzy if we are talking about the woman in the OP or my personal experience. I said very few messaged me back. But very few doesn't mean "none." I never said "no one" messaged me back. Like I said, some men I messaged replied to me. Between those men, combined with the men who contacted me first... I got plenty of dates out of OLD.
My point was only that, MOST people won't message you back, even in the best of circumstances (which is what I felt I had... except that I didn't care for OLD. But that's another story). First you have dead profiles, then bots, then people who aren't interested in you. All of that combined is most of the other profiles/people. Just because most don't message you, doesn't mean it's hopeless though. You don't need everyone you message to date you after all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium
If a guy moans about girls not messaging him back, what is your advice? Console him and tell him that those girls are dead profiles and bots??
Do you prefer truth or fantasy consolation?
Yes, and that was my point to men too. I said in my post that I was addressing both men and women, don't expect a lot of people to message you back. Don't take it to heart because there are a lot of dead profile and bots out there... and yes, on top of that people not interested won't even bother to say "no thank you" a lot of the time. Accept that from the get go, it's not like shopping on Amazon where you get everything you want. In the end, you have two choices, give up or keep trying. But don't let it get you down. I specifically said this advice was for men too.
I'll put it this way, the difference between the master and the apprentice is that the master has failed more times than the apprentice has even tried. (I know, corny saying, but it rings true in this case I guess).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaycich
When a guy complains about girls not messaging him back, he gets his ass handed to him. Especially on this forum.
That's too bad and unfair. It's not the guy's fault that he's having bad luck--we all have bad luck now and then. Now if he comes across as hateful and says all women are ___ because they won't message him, he's kind of asking to have his rear end handed to him here. But if he really is just down about things, a lot of people try to help. Yeah, you get your trolly-types who like to kick a guy when he's down, but there are a fair amount of people will try to help.... tell guys what works and what doesn't work, give tips, etc.
So, she is overweight? I can't click on the link right now....
So many people claim that overweight women can't get a man, but whenever I go to Walmart or if I am just out and about, I see big women galore with their husbands/boyfriends dragging along behind them. LOL. Maybe it just depends on where you live.
I got dumped for a big chick once. I felt like crap. LMAO
So, she is overweight? I can't click on the link right now....
So many people claim that overweight women can't get a man, but whenever I go to Walmart or if I am just out and about, I see big women galore with their husbands/boyfriends dragging along behind them. LOL. Maybe it just depends on where you live.
I got dumped for a big chick once. I felt like crap. LMAO
Yes big women can get a man, but he probably won't be in high demand. That's what everybody's saying, that she's shooting out of her league, which I've seen a lot of online.
I'll speculate that, in a way, she's pushed toward men out of her league physically, because as an educated white woman in Philadelphia, she's probably looking for local educated white men not much older than her, of the men "perfect for [her] based on... personality and interests" (which means she didn't just pick on looks). I haven't been there in years, but I suppose those men tend not to be particularly heavy. It's not People of Walmart territory. And even if I'm wrong about the typical local weight, would someone expect her to refuse to contact normal-weight guys?
Last edited by goodheathen; 10-06-2014 at 04:03 PM..
I have tried Match and OK Cupid here and there, and I never had much luck. I still have an OKC profile up, but I cancelled my Match subscription, having decided that a pay-to-play dating site was not worth it. I actually had more responses and interest on OKC ( the free version), so I decided to just keep that. But as someone else on here stated, online dating seems backwards or artificial. I much prefer meeting someone in person, getting to know them, and then possibly dating if both parties are interested. Reading a dating profile and browsing profile pics is a poor substitute for real-world interaction. It's difficult to read a person or gauge their possible compatibility simply based on their written word and picture selection. But online dating is a good way to at least make an initial connection with someone; it weeds out having to find someone in real-time and having to make a cold approach. And for guys like me who have no interest in clubbing, partying, bar-hopping, drinking, or any of that, it's a viable avenue to potentially meet a date.
But for me, I have yet to meet someone online to whom I find attractive or compatible. I don't profess to be Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt or anything, but I like what I like. I have to find a girl somewhat attractive or else there would be no point in pursuing. And when I say attractive, I don't mean super-model/sexpot looks; I just mean reasonably attractive -- at least to me.
And then there are the attitudes and stringent criteria that many women online have. I can understand having expectations and base criteria for a potential suitor or mate, but to me, many women online act as if they are in the top 3% of available females and as a result deserve THE BEST in a partner. That sense of entitlement and arrogance makes even the most attractive females look like junkyard dogs!
I agree with most of this. I haven't done OLD, I prefer IRL. And we don't know who she messaged. But I've seen dudes post here that they don't like women to make the first move, IRL or on OLD. So there's that issue, too. I think her main problems were not that she aimed too high, because on OLD it's usually the dudes who make the first move anyway, and she only got 2 messages in 1 month that she didn't initiate contact with. Her problems are that as a BBW, she's already a niche appeal deal. And on top of that, she has a lame profile. Not to mention the fact that her hair color changed between the 2 pix. Is she blonde, or brunette? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.
Oh, 40 messages in 3 months? That's atrociously low. Also, geography plays a large role in online dating. I'm pretty sure the male pool in Philly is a lot worse than say, the San Francisco Bay Area.
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