(guys)Actual relationship ADVICE, no more complaining! (married, good looking, interested)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501
You sure know how to **** people off don't you?
I don't p*ss people off. They let themselves get p*ssed off. People can't make other people feel anything. We own our emotions.
If people don't want advice, then don't post on a public advice and conversation forum. You don't get to pick and choose which advice gets posted.
But recall the saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"? It applies here. If what someone is doing is not working, then it is folly to keep trying the same thing. Do something different. You can't know it isn't for you without trying.
I don't p*ss people off. They let themselves get p*ssed off. People can't make other people feel anything. We own our emotions.
If people don't want advice, then don't post on a public advice and conversation forum. You don't get to pick and choose which advice gets posted.
But recall the saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"? It applies here. If what someone is doing is not working, then it is folly to keep trying the same thing. Do something different. You can't know it isn't for you without trying.
Geez get huffy why don't you. I don't mind getting advice however some posters here believe their advice is the be all end all and refuse to see things from others perspectives. They simply do not get that whats possible for them might not be possible for others.
I met a girl in college in exactly that way, and I told her after a few months that I had developed feelings for her. She was not uncomfortable or disgusted, but I was leaving for boot camp in two weeks. Later while in the navy,I got an email from her saying that she wanted to get together over a drink and catch up. That didn't work out because I couldn't tell her in advance if or when the submarine would come into San Diego because that was highly classified information. She is on my Facebook and we talk sometimes but she is busy between work and taking care of her mother, abd she lives in Florida.
Why don't you start a LDR with her and visit? She sounds like your girl.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501
no i meant how do you know their perceptions of their circumstances aren't correct? which would be why they know the advice won't work.
Again, they don't know, if they don't try. Perceptions, especially ones we self perceive, aren't something to base one's decision on.
Like, I'm not good looking enough to have someone like her interested in me (so I won't try).
I don't earn enough to be able to date someone like that (so I won't try).
I don't have the personality that people would be interested in just after talking for a little while, I have to get to know people slowly for them to like me (so I'm not going to try with this person).
It's true in most every part of life, as in, I'm not going to get that job, so I won't apply for it.
Stupid stupid stupid.
Again, that's just a self defeating defense mechanism. People need to stop being their own worst enemies, which has entirely been my point (and the point of many other people).
They only know it won't work if they've repeatedly tried it and it doesn't work.
Man, you must have tooted a few lines before banging out that screed. Only major anger harassed to some first-class illegal substances could have fueled such an inspired rant. Okay, here you go.
We give advice on this thread. But these idiots either can't a) Look for the appropriate thread on a subject already covered or b) have a major learning disability because they keep doing the same things over and over again expecting different results, or c) too lazy or scared to change.
So now we pretty much just make fun of them and pelt them with rocks and garbage.
You left out the most important one some men aren't attractive to women no matter what they do.
That's totally ridiculous. Self pity is ugly stuff, man. Lose some weight, get better clothes, and make yourself a more interesting person to be around. Learn to actually talk to a woman, and quit looking at her as if she were little more than the life support system for a vagina.
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