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No, self-pity is a form of rampant narcissism, so I pretty much have you nailed.
nope. sorry. missed again. i am none of those things. more baseless assumptions. no time for self pity. i fully concentrate on photography and running.
There have been times in my adult life where I didn't have sex. There was definitely a 1 year plus period, might have been a two year gap actually. So what? I focused on other stuff. No big deal.
People have to get away from thinking they need sex, or need a relationship of some type to be happy or fulfilled. You don't.
the "need" is more than a thought, it's an emotion. and if you have figured it out, please share. because from what i can tell, the desire for human touch is fairly biological and evolutionary. and it you go without it for a while, you become a little "rough around the edges" so to speak
i know monks and others who dedicate their life to a higher being are able to abstain and develop this detachment by perhaps shifting their need for love from another human to a spiritual entity, but i don't think most ppl have the capacity to "cold turkey" on desiring an intimate and/or emotional connection with another person. pets can help i guess.
the "need" is more than a thought, it's an emotion.
um,yeah, but emotions give rise to thoughts, and thoughts give rise to emotions. Once we have started to see this, we realize that we can change our thoughts and therefore change our emotions.
Quote:
and if you have figured it out, please share. because from what i can tell, the desire for human touch is fairly biological and evolutionary. and it you go without it for a while, you become a little "rough around the edges" so to speak
What do you mean with "it is evolutionary and biological"? When you say it is "evolutionary" you say, that there is a gene, which encodes for a protein, which activates a cascade in the brain making a human feel the need for "human touch". Makes no sense. "Biological" would basically point in the same direction, so no need to differentiate here. Ever heard of neuroplasticity? Why should one become "a little rough around the edges"? Any proof for this assertion? IMO people who are "rough around the edges" lack human touch a priori.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean
the "need" is more than a thought, it's an emotion. and if you have figured it out, please share. because from what i can tell, the desire for human touch is fairly biological and evolutionary. and it you go without it for a while, you become a little "rough around the edges" so to speak
Thoughts and emotions aren't separate things. You can control your thoughts and a person needs to own their emotions. That is part of maturity.
I like having sex fairly regularly, and last month went through a sudden drastic decrease in frequency. It wasn't fun, but it isn't a big deal. If I spent the next couple of years and didn't have sex at all, I'd be fine. Perfectly fine. Almost everyone would.
There have been times in my adult life where I didn't have sex. There was definitely a 1 year plus period, might have been a two year gap actually. So what? I focused on other stuff. No big deal.
People have to get away from thinking they need sex, or need a relationship of some type to be happy or fulfilled. You don't.
OMG. I'm thinking that I'm developing a bit of a cyber crush on timberline. Is it possible?
Honestly, timber, you throw this out there, and now I'm all discombobulated. You're full of all kinds of surprises, I imagine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean
the "need" is more than a thought, it's an emotion. and if you have figured it out, please share. because from what i can tell, the desire for human touch is fairly biological and evolutionary. and it you go without it for a while, you become a little "rough around the edges" so to speak
i know monks and others who dedicate their life to a higher being are able to abstain and develop this detachment by perhaps shifting their need for love from another human to a spiritual entity, but i don't think most ppl have the capacity to "cold turkey" on desiring an intimate and/or emotional connection with another person. pets can help i guess.
I think there's a lot of truth to what you're saying here. Yes, we need touch, and that's a good, healthy thing. But for some of us, quality matters more than quantity. I've always wondered about people who are always - or usually - in relationships. HOW do they manage to ALWAYS meet someone they're attracted to enough and like enough to have a sexual/romantic relationship with? Is it fantastic, incredible luck? HOW on earth is this possible? I rarely meet a guy I like enough to date (AND who's available).
I mean, what do you do if you don't meet anyone for months or even a couple of years who really "grabs" you? (this is my typical pattern). Do you talk yourself into "liking" someone in the meantime? Or, again, is it that you just have FAR better luck than I do?
So he said. Doesn't matter. He doesn't listen anyway.
So you will keep talking to one who isn't listening? oddly amusing don't you think?
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