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I think I associate sex with a relationship. Yes, love too, but I don't have to be in love with the person to be ready to sleep with them. But..I've never been in a real relationship, had sex, or been in love. So I think that's why I'm afraid to actually sleep with someone because none of them have been real relationships.
Don't bang a dude to get a relationship.You become better than that and weed out the losers.Find the mature reliable guy.And date first and over time things happen.
My 2 cents: I think you'll be able to get a better read on a guy if you Mod cut.. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with fooling around, but I do think it could be compromising your ability to more easily figure out whom you can take seriously (your goal). Give the 'getting to know someone' stage a bit more time before becoming intimate Mod cut.. Just chill out and allow the process to reveal something you'll find useful - you are only 20, after all!
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2014 at 09:42 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
But do you see how this is pretty bad for my current situation? I want to have sex but there's are large percentage of guys who do not want a relationship at my age. So I either keep waiting or get it over with?
I meet lots of guys in their early 20 who want a serious relationship, kids, marriage, etc. It just depends on who you hang out with.
I usually run into these guys in social groups of mixed ages (they are among the youngest people there), and not at bars/clubs. Where are you meeting the guys who just want to hook up?
Intercourse is not a big deal at all --Mod cut.. Don't do it if you don't want to, but also don't expect it to influence whether a guy wants a relationship.
Falling in love is a much bigger deal .
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2014 at 09:43 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
This sounds to me like you were not really into it. Is that true? Was it something you felt you had to do, or something you really, really wanted to do?
Yes, and also, more important, it looks like he was not interested in you as a person.
You're right. I think part of me wasn't really into it. I've been with other guys that made me more excited. I think I'm trying to force something that's not there, at least not really on my end
Yes, and also, more important, it looks like he was not interested in you as a person.
Yeah. He basically wanted, and got a human fleshlight, that does all the work for him.
So, I agree. If this is common, and the guys don't reciprocate, and aren't even offering, they don't want a relationship with you, or even care as a person. because even sex buddies, and friends with benefits at least reciprocate to one another, if they aren't totally selfish.
Mod cut. When you try performing sexual acts to please, that opens doors for people to use you, not warm to you and like you. If they didn't like you, or care before, the sex won't change that. They'll just accept the sex, but give no relationship or intimacy.
Now, if you're just having fun, I can't say anything. But if you do genuinely want love and a relationship, I do suggest holding off on the sex. Not in a manipulative way. but get to know each other's personality, and emotionally, then as time goes on, the sex will just happen naturally, or, you'll spot some red flags in the guy first, and be able to end things before you have sex, and he's not looking for a relationship. But it's a gamble either way. Depends on what you feel good doing. You can have sex, and play things by ear. or wait a bit and try to get to know the guy a bit, then have sex.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2014 at 09:46 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
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