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Magnatomicflux .... But before he has said I was pretty I don't know,
His orientation, well if he's gay, he hasn't told me and it's a touchy touchy subject when I've asked before.
Things seem to be better, so I'm excited about going. Besides I accept him not being attracted to me, but if we're best friends and going as such, I don't see the point he had in hurting me with a cruel remark of not being attractive!!!
We have some time before the trip, I can just hope things work out from now until we are leaving ... If they don't work out then it's agreed it may not happen.
Besides Id love to maybe have him take me there and declare all of this love for me one on one since we'll be away together, because I've always wondered how has he felt but it doesn't always work that way and right now I just. Want to not argue and have a great trip
Magnatomicflux .... But before he has said I was pretty I don't know,
So, he thinks you're pretty. Lots of people probably think so too. That doesn't mean they are sexually attracted to you.
Quote:
His orientation, well if he's gay, he hasn't told me and it's a touchy touchy subject when I've asked before.
Hmm.
Quote:
Things seem to be better, so I'm excited about going. Besides I accept him not being attracted to me, but if we're best friends and going as such, I don't see the point he had in hurting me with a cruel remark of not being attractive!!!
Did he tell you you weren't attractive period, or that he's not sexually attracted to you? Big difference.
Quote:
We have some time before the trip, I can just hope things work out from now until we are leaving ... If they don't work out then it's agreed it may not happen.
Besides Id love to maybe have him take me there and declare all of this love for me one on one since we'll be away together, because I've always wondered how has he felt but it doesn't always work that way and right now I just. Want to not argue and have a great trip
Okay, don't go.
This is fair to him, how? And where do you go from there? Say "aw...that's nice" and pat him on the head? Do you take him right then and there?
You have a bf. Are you willing to leave him for your friend if he professes his love? Yes? You crush your bf. No? Your friendship is essentially over. You call his bluff, and he throws all his cards on the table. Then you say "meh......I don't really like this game anyway. I'm going home"
Woah. I was having a hard time understanding the initial post. I kept reading, I got a little more insight. Now I'm like "Woah"
So..,..your best friend is a guy that you were in love with. He only wanted to be friends. You stayed in the picture bcs you were in love with him. For FOUR years. You finally start dating someone else, but you and this first guy are still best friends.
You plan a trip together. He is freaking out. Bcs he thinks you are still in love with him and this is a ruse to get him alone for an extended period of time? Are you sharing a room?? And your BF is ok with this….how??
Ok…I'll play along. Except then you say you'd love for him to profess his love. Which means you have an ulterior motive and are actually STILL in love with him.
Am I following?
I'm curious about the details of your fight/cancellation…why was trust broken, for example? And why do you have to heal? Bcs he said he's not attracted to you? His radar must be going off...
I am going to Key West with my very best guy friend............and yes I'm a girl.
I haven't even really taken any vacations as an adult...and this is really the first one that feels completely care free.
Considering my best friend is a guy - and we have an age difference - just the basic differences in our gender can be a little hard to overcome and adjust to as friends.............but with a lot of years we are doing okay........
As the trip becomes closer, he's starting to really worry............... all of his worries are kind of - well they are completely pointless ...........he's already canceled our trip once and it was such a dramatic day I would never want to re-live it. I understand he's worried and I have a few light concerns, but they're only growing after he instills fear in me and brings up a lot of his pointless worries .............. he keeps saying the word problem, but is giving absolutely no examples of any.............. I'm thinking why don't we come up with a plan in case of a real problem, like an accident or an emergency situation, but all he's referring to is a drama problem.......... I've been to Key West before and I've always had a great time............ so I doubt I could be unhappy there ever, no matter who I was with.........
I do have a boyfriend............... and he's completely okay with my best friend and I going on vacation... I have known my best friend much longer, and it's not really my fault that during the time my best friend was clearly "worrying about what may happen if he made me his girlfriend" that someone else came and snagged me.............who is actually worth me, and who I really truly love............
I'm just wondering if anyone has traveled with a friend of the opposite sex and what to possibly say to calm him down, because I don't feel like selling him on myself or the trip for that matter.
I will say this though, if he continues to worry himself out of going, after the 1st cancelation already, I will completely be done with him for good on even talking every so often because he's already lost a huge part of my trust. It's normal to disagree, it's normal to have differences.
I feel like obsessing on negatives is going to just enlarge the negative..........
As I'm growing and maturing, he's still in fear and I just am starting to feel tired of it all.......
Any guys / men reading this over the age of 21 at least please, is he doing all of this to start a fight to cancel the trip again because he really doesn't want to go? That would break my heart, but because of his first cancelation the other day, part of my heart is already broken........... I'm having a hard enough time healing it as it is, and he doesn't seem to be respecting that whatsoever.
Are you serious?!?!
He's stressing that you guys will be sharing a single bed, something might happen, you have a boyfriend, you might get drunk, something might happen...
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-17-2014 at 12:20 PM..
Reason: Off topic.
Woah. I was having a hard time understanding the initial post. I kept reading, I got a little more insight. Now I'm like "Woah"
So..,..your best friend is a guy that you were in love with. He only wanted to be friends. You stayed in the picture bcs you were in love with him. For FOUR years. You finally start dating someone else, but you and this first guy are still best friends.
You plan a trip together. He is freaking out. Bcs he thinks you are still in love with him and this is a ruse to get him alone for an extended period of time? Are you sharing a room?? And your BF is ok with this….how??
Ok…I'll play along. Except then you say you'd love for him to profess his love. Which means you have an ulterior motive and are actually STILL in love with him.
Am I following?
I'm curious about the details of your fight/cancellation…why was trust broken, for example? And why do you have to heal? Bcs he said he's not attracted to you? His radar must be going off...
magnatomicflux .... But before he has said i was pretty i don't know,
his orientation, well if he's gay, he hasn't told me and it's a touchy touchy subject when i've asked before.
Things seem to be better, so i'm excited about going. Besides i accept him not being attracted to me, but if we're best friends and going as such, i don't see the point he had in hurting me with a cruel remark of not being attractive!!!
We have some time before the trip, i can just hope things work out from now until we are leaving ... If they don't work out then it's agreed it may not happen.
Besides id love to maybe have him take me there and declare all of this love for me one on one since we'll be away together, because i've always wondered how has he felt but it doesn't always work that way and right now i just. Want to not argue and have a great trip
Not exactly the same but I used to do a lot of tours (18-35s yr olds) and about half of the people came with a friend. Usually by the end of the trip most of them are fighting and wish they came by themselves. I've seen friendships end. If you are having this many issues before the trip you need to cancel.
I think if you were perfectly ok with this situation you wouldn't be asking strangers on the internet if they thought it was ok
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