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The roots of my unhappiness are that nothing makes me feel alive. I am tired of that. I can't understand why this is such a complex concept that nobody seems to get it here. "Work on your marriage", how? How do you bring a dead horse back to life by beating on it? That's what I want to know.
Is that your amazing record with men?
The only person who can make you feel alive is you. Until you can open up that part of you, you will feel dead with anyone. Its obvious its not this person you crave, but a feeling. It starts within you. Until you can make yourself happy, no one else will be able to.
Wouldnt it be funny if Mr. Stay at Home hubby got the jump on having an affair.
The only person who can make you feel alive is you. Until you can open up that part of you, you will feel dead with anyone. Its obvious its not this person you crave, but a feeling. It starts within you. Until you can make yourself happy, no one else will be able to.
Wouldnt it be funny if Mr. Stay at Home hubby got the jump on having an affair.
It would be awesome at this point and I never advocate adultery. I was in the OP's corner when this thread first started, but after a few of her snarky and off putting comments.... she sounds more like a 13 yr old boy sitting in the basement pulling everyone's leg.....
When I was much, much, much younger (we're talking 25+ years here), I was a pretty irresponsible young lady and I had plenty of flings with married men at that time. Nobody ever found out. I didn't break up any marriages. I know it can be done. I have no intention of damaging anyone. I am actually pretty "content" with my marriage and, like I said, I love my husband. I just want to find a way to keep going. Otherwise I might as well jump off a bridge or something, if life is supposed to be like THIS. It ain't worth it.
How pathetic you are. Married men have flings all the time with young naive girls. Of course no one found out, did you think those men wanted to break up their marriage? They just used you and moved on to the next one.
Life is what you make it. You can't depend on others for your happiness.
I've thought about that. I don't have another 18 years to look, unfortunately. And well, I work about 12 hours a day myself, so that doesn't leave a lot of hunting time. And besides, I really, really do like this guy, that's part of the equation. I rarely find people that I like this much.
Just because you like him doesn't mean he'll like you back. That's one of the main problems for singles, is finding reciprocal interest. Plus, he's married and you're married, so he'd probably be shocked that you'd approach him. Not to mention the shock of having someone old enough to be his mother approach him.
Try to keep it real, OP. Fantasy and reality most of the time, 99.9% of the time, are two very different things.
Just because you like him doesn't mean he'll like you back. That's one of the main problems for singles, is finding mutual interest. Plus, he's married and you're married, so he'd probably be shocked that you'd approach him. Not to mention the shock of having someone old enough to be his mother approach him.
Try to keep it real, OP. Fantasy and reality most of the time, 99.9% of the time, are two very different things.
No doubt... for all she knows... he might think she's some homely old broad.....
People tend to get a little foolish at times with their own self assessments.... I don't recall how many times I've seen people on this forum say that they look 10 yrs younger than their pics... then you see them... and I'm like... no... you look about 45, not 35....... LOL...
It would be awesome at this point and I never advocate adultery. I was in the OP's corner when this thread first started, but after a few of her snarky and off putting comments.... she sounds more like a 13 yr old boy sitting in the basement pulling everyone's leg.....
Really? You supported her in her wish to start an affair with a married dude half her age? If so, I think you're the only one on this thread who was "in her corner".
I have been a loyal lurker for many years at CD but have never, before now, felt the need to post. I have a problem that I need objective opinions about. I apologize in advance if this post gets too long.
I am a middle aged lady who has been married to her third husband for 14 years (together for 18). During this time I have been 100 percent faithful to my husband and I love him very much. We spend a lot of time together and enjoy each other's company. He is a good and decent man.
When I married him, he had a "career" where he made pretty good money. We traveled a lot and really enjoyed it. I did not have to work, but I usually did whenever I could at temp jobs because I feel that, since we don't have children, I should contribute to the household income. But he never required me to work.
Fast forward several years. My husband decides it is time for a career change. He stops working at his chosen field and decides to do "other things". Unfortunately, it is hard for him to work in other jobs because he has been self employed a long time. He has a very strong personality and is difficult to get along with. Eventually, he decides to stay home and let me be the breadwinner. I have a pretty good job and we have a frugal lifestyle so it works out ok.
The problem is that in my world, I have a very hard time respecting someone who does not take care of his family. This is how I was taught and it represents a huge part of how I feel about him. I still love him very much but I have lost a lot of respect for him as a man and a husband.
Time marches on.
Recently, I got another job for more money doing essentially the same thing, but for a much larger company a much more diverse company with a lot of different, interesting people. One day I happen to notice a guy who I think is a cutie. Oh, he is much younger. MUCH younger, but he seems like such a great guy and it is obvious that everybody that works with him likes him and respects him very much.
As I get to know more about the people I work with I find out that he is married, has some kids (how many I am not sure - more than one, anyway), and that he works ALL THE TIME (we're talking 7 days a week), to support his wife and family even though he doesn't make much money. He is so dedicated to his job.
Suddenly, I start having a lot of respect for the guy for being the man he is. Suddenly I start wishing I had a guy like that. It makes me very sad. He is all about his family, his job, working for THEM to give them the best life that he can and my husband is basically doing "things that need to be done around the house", while I work hard myself to support MY FAMILY.
I'm sure you can see where this is going.
So I develop this incredible crush on the guy, even though he is much younger, and someone who, under normal circumstances I would not be attracted to. But in addition to being this amazing guy, he is very *different* and that difference seems to make him even more attractive to me. Since I am middle aged, my life has become pretty boring and passionless, so I am thinking what fun it would be to not only have a bit of a thing with this younger, wonderful guy who is so different than me and who I respect so very much.
I have not done or said anything to him or anyone else about this because I really don't know how he is going to take it. I mean, obviously he is crazy about his wife and they have very small children, but he is a man, and as far as I am concerned men are all pretty much dogs. I might be considerably older than he, but I still look very good for my age. He is very friendly to me (but he is very friendly to everybody), and sometimes I think that maybe he has a little interest, although that may be totally subjective on my part.
Needless to say this is just killing me. Even though I love my husband dearly and would not do anything to ever hurt him (as I would never do anything to hurt this other guy's family either), I can't help thinking about him. Right now I am at the place in my life where I am feeling quite old, and quite unhappy and quite irrelevant and needing something to make life worth living again.
Could you offer your insight and input on this situation? Please, I beg you do not throw in those off-handed snarky remarks that I see so often on CD. This is a very serious matter for me so if you can't give me a few minutes of sincere input, please just move on. Thank you all in advance.
Everyone deserves to find happiness. It sounds to me like your marriage has run its course. No, you absolutely should not cheat/ ruin another persons family. That is just wrong.
Yes, you should get a divorce and find someone who you will respect as well as want to be with. Life is too short to waste all of those years.. Fourteen years is a long time in a marriage with someone who does nothing for you. You said that you never even really liked him. That should tell you right there. Stop asking for advice to cheat, and start the divorce process. You both deserve happiness.
Really? You supported her in her wish to start an affair with a married dude half her age? If so, I think you're the only one on this thread who was "in her corner".
Way way back in the first page or two I sympathized with her to a degree in that I get sometimes people can get a little bored... I in no way advocated her cheating... go back and read my first post.. if you care too.
But no... she's acting like a..........I can't say what I think cause I'll get my paws slapped, but you can imagine what I'm saying......
well, I admire her honesty. At least she aint' fake. But this whole "I dont have mine, so I want to take it from other people" mentality just doesn't make any sense to me.
I like to listen to other people's happy ending stories. It gives me hope. Sure I don't have a relationship right now, but if others can be happy, at least I will be happy for them. Why bother ruining other people's relationships? Makes no sense.
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