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I am curious because we have so very many men who post here who have never had intimate contact with women, and seem obsessed by that fact. Some are younger but some are middle aged. They say "no woman ever gave me a chance" but I find that unconvincing.
Here is the scenario here at home today: My daughter and her boyfriend are trying to fix his guy friend up with her girl friend for a first meeting (all are age 17-18). All were invited over tonight to hang out, and everyone knew it was for these two to meet. The girl is very attractive and interesting, an exchange student from Serbia.
The guy bailed. No reason, no excuse.
This was his golden opportunity to meet a girl who wanted to meet him, but he let his fear get in the way. I wonder if, 10 years from now, he is going to be complaining that he is an "incel" who never had a chance to "access women"?
This is not the first time I have seen this particular scenario play out in this age group, by the way.
Lol, if only I had opportunities like those in High School and college.
I had friends try to set me up in high school and I took it as a threat to my ability to get a date on my own so I declined. It was dumb of me at that point, but she ended up being someone I'm glad I steered clear of. If I was one of those people that complained about not being able to find anyone I would hope I would see the irony in it.
Does not apply to me at all. If someone set me up with a girl to go out with in high school, I would have jumped at the chance. As it turns out, I asked out some girls when I was in high school and they all turned me down. I didn't play sports but was in band (referred to as "band f_ag" by a few) and really focused on studies. I have to admit that didn't do much for my already low self-confidence and I didn't really come out my shell until my mid to late twenties.
Wow. A simple example of boy almost meeting girl and zentropa gets criticized for bad parenting, people start bashing on the girl in the story for being unattractive, that weird idea of "girls/women have all the power" comes up, and the usual defeatist cry of 9 times out of 10 things don't woprk out.
These are all defense mechanisms guys.
Perhaps things don't work out 9 times out of 10. So what? You only need one success.
Who cares that she is an exchange student and the relationship is time limited. Are you looking for eternal love at 17? Date. Have fun. Learn how to interact with a young woman. Watch her move back to Serbia and have your heart broken. This is life guys. It's also a great story/memory for later years.
Way too much emphasis on the attraction thing. Sometimes attraction hits you like a truck. That's amazing and worthwhile. Other times it grows on you. A person who you spend time with turns out to be interesting, clever and funny. You initially never gave her a second look, but after talking with her you find yourself wanting to spend more time with her. Then you look over and notice her lips/legs/breasts/eyes/whatever works for you.
The 17 year old guy in the OP missed an opportunity that may have worked out for him. Don't spend so much time justifying his actions that you miss out on opportunities too.
I don't know if this is how it starts, but I've seen something similar to the Op's observation first hand. I dated a guy for several months, everything was great, etc, etc, and he broke it off with me giving me a lot of excuses that boiled down to he was hurt in the past and was afraid of getting hurt again (who hasn't been hurt in the past in a relationship?) Anyway, he suddenly went from being extremely happy and lovey-dovery with me to cold and stand-offish (literally one day it was great, next he was cold). He broke it off, told me I was wonderful, did nothing wrong, etc and we are friends. So what does he talk about to me when we get together and what do I see him post on Facebook all the time, "whoa is me, women don't like me... I am so lonely."
While I am sure there are people (men and women) who really do have bad luck with finding someone, part me takes this "bad luck" with a grain of salt. I think in a lot of cases, it's not luck, but the person's own decisions that lead them to where they are.
I am curious because we have so very many men who post here who have never had intimate contact with women, and seem obsessed by that fact. Some are younger but some are middle aged. They say "no woman ever gave me a chance" but I find that unconvincing.
Here is the scenario here at home today: My daughter and her boyfriend are trying to fix his guy friend up with her girl friend for a first meeting (all are age 17-18). All were invited over tonight to hang out, and everyone knew it was for these two to meet. The girl is very attractive and interesting, an exchange student from Serbia.
The guy bailed. No reason, no excuse.
This was his golden opportunity to meet a girl who wanted to meet him, but he let his fear get in the way. I wonder if, 10 years from now, he is going to be complaining that he is an "incel" who never had a chance to "access women"?
This is not the first time I have seen this particular scenario play out in this age group, by the way.
I think it's very disrespectful to try to set someone up. That's up to the person and no one else. I would have done exactly as he did.
I don't believe this is where it starts zentropa. I personally believe they are born with a defect that prohibits proper socialization. I don't even think it's how they were brought up. It's very innate.
People are crossing the line into someone's intimate life and that is disrespectful in my book. Not even friends have the right to cross those boundaries.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
How is it disrespectful? What an odd response...
I can see wherected he is coming from if the friends were trying to spring it on the dude without his knowledge putting him in an awkward position where peer pressure would force him to say yes or be considered a total a-hole.
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