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Old 12-02-2014, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Spokane, Washington
619 posts, read 652,238 times
Reputation: 1124

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Quote:
I think I am rethinking him.... I think he thinks Im attractive but he doesnt view me as relationship material.
But...he's married, right?


None of this is healthy. Keep your distance. Don't be flattered by guys like him.

 
Old 12-02-2014, 07:11 AM
 
3,603 posts, read 5,939,384 times
Reputation: 3366
You have self esteem issues. Seek therapy.
 
Old 12-02-2014, 07:21 AM
 
207 posts, read 226,595 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros View Post
You have self esteem issues. Seek therapy.
Its strange self esteem. I think I am as ugly as Marilyn Monroe and Kim Kardashian. Im just too fat and too short.
 
Old 12-02-2014, 07:22 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,741,555 times
Reputation: 20395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xlexa View Post
What did this guy find so attractive in me? I notice it when I read his body language.... he was very fond of me. Smiled a lot. Shared personal details with me. Giggle when im around him. Put his hand on my chair. Sat directly in front of me at a party. and wouldnt leave the table.

I acted foolishly in front of him.... so it makes no sense why.he did this to me.

He has a wife. Shes pretty... thin and all that.

And I realize hes going to stop flirting with me. Since I think someone ppull him.aside not too. People glance at him a lot when he did and i think some lost his respect.

But I ruin my image because it brought out the real me... which is dangerous since its like the Norma Jean to Marilyn Monroe effect. I can make men into putty at that point.
We've already been over this topic.
 
Old 12-02-2014, 07:28 AM
 
3,603 posts, read 5,939,384 times
Reputation: 3366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xlexa View Post
Its strange self esteem. I think I am as ugly as Marilyn Monroe and Kim Kardashian. Im just too fat and too short.
I think you would benefit from talking to a therapist. You work. You probably have insurance. It would probably be a 20 dollar copay. Look up therapists, preferably women in your case, on your insurance directory and give them a call. Or look online ... e.g. therapists.psychologytoday.com
 
Old 12-02-2014, 07:59 AM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,830,974 times
Reputation: 7394
Run from guys who play games. And don't let him act like he's got some kind of claim on you.
 
Old 12-02-2014, 08:32 AM
 
16,709 posts, read 19,416,576 times
Reputation: 41487
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xlexa View Post
At these parties... he sits directly in front of me... like hell get up and dit in front of me. He gazes somewhat upon me.... even my manager said "'Shes sitting right there why dont you move" and smiles at him... its like hes puppyloving me.

Hell tries his best to find time for me. However he can... when were at work.

He said "ill do her... but shes a bit heavy" to the guys at work (oh gawd my body is heavy... its like Kim Kardashian if she was 30 lbs heavier). When he talks to me i notice he wants to be perfect.

Okay talking about my beauty takes it to that lvl...

I think the only thing holding us back is that hes of honorable breed like Ashley Wilkes... because I just feel he is smitten. Maybe not to my level... but I think if it were not for moral codes he would be mine.
So you are a smitten with a married guy. A married guy who calls you fat to other people "but he'd hit that anyway" and you think that's cute?

You have some serious issues. Why don't you try loving yourself first?
 
Old 12-02-2014, 08:45 AM
 
207 posts, read 226,595 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
So you are a smitten with a married guy. A married guy who calls you fat to other people "but he'd hit that anyway" and you think that's cute?

You have some serious issues. Why don't you try loving yourself first?


Yeah... that sounds depressing. He said that in front of me.

Yeah thats pathetic but I didnt think of it like that. But its more because i feel undesirable and hes one of the 1st person who made me felt special. It takes a lot for me to get my confidence but when i have it... it glows... i see people literally stop to say hi to me... but its very limited (like right timing stars align). Its like another person in me...I wouldnt be so into him if he didnt flirt with me so much. His body language was the 1st indicator... but i would be lying if that comment didnt make me feel better about myself. It meant i wasnt so ugly that i am worthless. And the way he looks at me makes me feel like he likes me a lot. that was a very off comment for him but i didnt see him in 2 days so when i came back to work he wanted to spend the whole day with me for "training" but it was thinly disguise as spending time with me....

Which is why I dont get why hes beating around the bush so much that hes into me??? It bothers me... if he told me I find you attractive but i need to stay away from you... i would be fine. But its like a professional relationship hinting to romance with him. Hes hot and cold. And he doesnt want to be seen in public with me unless its convenient....

People are losing respect for him and for me at work (i can tell)... its like im losing my voice and hes look at as a creep.
 
Old 12-02-2014, 08:51 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,741,555 times
Reputation: 20395
Maybe you need to look for a new job. Although I have a feeling you might just wind up with the same problem where ever you go, because you feed this type of behaviour. I agree with everyone else who has mentioned getting a therapist and working on your self esteem issues. Do you really want to be the sloppy seconds of a married man?
 
Old 12-02-2014, 08:54 AM
 
3,603 posts, read 5,939,384 times
Reputation: 3366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xlexa View Post
Yeah... that sounds depressing. He said that in front of me.

Yeah thats pathetic but I didnt think of it like that. But its more because i feel undesirable and hes one of the 1st person who made me felt special. It takes a lot for me to get my confidence but when i have it... it glows... i see people literally stop to say hi to me... but its very limited (like right timing stars align). Its like another person in me...I wouldnt be so into him if he didnt flirt with me so much. His body language was the 1st indicator... but i would be lying if that comment didnt make me feel better about myself. It meant i wasnt so ugly that i am worthless. And the way he looks at me makes me feel like he likes me a lot. that was a very off comment for him but i didnt see him in 2 days so when i came back to work he wanted to spend the whole day with me for "training" but it was thinly disguise as spending time with me....

Which is why I dont get why hes beating around the bush so much that hes into me??? It bothers me... if he told me I find you attractive but i need to stay away from you... i would be fine. But its like a professional relationship hinting to romance with him. Hes hot and cold. And he doesnt want to be seen in public with me unless its convenient....

People are losing respect for him and for me at work (i can tell)... its like im losing my voice and hes look at as a creep.
He's married. He's flirting openly at work. He's not respectable.

The fact that you feel undesirable is the reason you need therapy. You are not undesirable. This is a myth that you're perpetuating for some reason. You need therapy to stop. This is not a healthy mindset. Please seek therapy.
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