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I used to be a lot like sweetjess where I wondered what was the hidden veiled meaning behind a cryptic message that was actually really straightforward. It took meeting a guy who never made me question if he liked me or if he'd call me to make me realize how I overcomplicated all sorts of situations with guys who just weren't in it for me.
Don't say online dating isn't for you, but learn that there may be a lot of great dates on your end that go nowhere and then there are guys you will go out with who felt a connection when you didn't. Just don't obsess over your dating life and forget the many other facets of your world.
I used to be a lot like sweetjess where I wondered what was the hidden veiled meaning behind a cryptic message that was actually really straightforward. It took meeting a guy who never made me question if he liked me or if he'd call me to make me realize how I overcomplicated all sorts of situations with guys who just weren't in it for me.
Don't say online dating isn't for you, but learn that there may be a lot of great dates on your end that go nowhere and then there are guys you will go out with who felt a connection when you didn't. Just don't obsess over your dating life and forget the many other facets of your world.
I used to be a lot like sweetjess where I wondered what was the hidden veiled meaning behind a cryptic message that was actually really straightforward. It took meeting a guy who never made me question if he liked me or if he'd call me to make me realize how I overcomplicated all sorts of situations with guys who just weren't in it for me.
Don't say online dating isn't for you, but learn that there may be a lot of great dates on your end that go nowhere and then there are guys you will go out with who felt a connection when you didn't. Just don't obsess over your dating life and forget the many other facets of your world.
My problem is that I'm either really into them and they aren't into me, or they are really into me and I'm not into them. I can't find a balance.
And not to toot my own horn (Ok - yes, because I'm feeling a little insecure right now), I feel like I have a lot to offer someone. I think I'm attractive, great job, educated, pay my own bills, independent, athletic and take good care of myself. I just don't understand why I can't find that balance.
My problem is that I'm either really into them and they aren't into me, or they are really into me and I'm not into them. I can't find a balance.
And not to toot my own horn (Ok - yes, because I'm feeling a little insecure right now), I feel like I have a lot to offer someone. I think I'm attractive, great job, educated, pay my own bills, independent, athletic and take good care of myself. I just don't understand why I can't find that balance.
I feel your pain. Hopefully someone you like who appreciates what you have to offer and is willing to make the effort to get to know you will come along.
My problem is that I'm either really into them and they aren't into me, or they are really into me and I'm not into them. I can't find a balance.
And not to toot my own horn (Ok - yes, because I'm feeling a little insecure right now), I feel like I have a lot to offer someone. I think I'm attractive, great job, educated, pay my own bills, independent, athletic and take good care of myself. I just don't understand why I can't find that balance.
Welcome to the club, sister. It's not just you. There are plenty of us out here in the same boat. Maybe it's time to take a close examination of what you're trying to accomplish in this part of your life. Can you be more open-minded? Are you willing to give someone that you were on the fence about a shot?
I'm going out with a girl tonight who I had been on a few dates with a little while back. We cut things off after I attempted to pursue a relationship with another girl. That ended up falling through. So after a couple months of contemplating whether or not to contact this girl, I garnered the courage to do it last night. She agreed to go out with me tonight! Is she the absolute best woman for me in the entire world? I have no idea. Is she the most physically attractive girl I've ever been with or dreamt about? Not even. But I do know that I had a really good time with her in the past when we did go out.
Maybe you just need to be a little more open-minded and flexible about your dating prospects.
Welcome to the club, sister. It's not just you. There are plenty of us out here in the same boat. Maybe it's time to take a close examination of what you're trying to accomplish in this part of your life. Can you be more open-minded? Are you willing to give someone that you were on the fence about a shot?
I'm going out with a girl tonight who I had been on a few dates with a little while back. We cut things off after I attempted to pursue a relationship with another girl. That ended up falling through. So after a couple months of contemplating whether or not to contact this girl, I garnered the courage to do it last night. She agreed to go out with me tonight! Is she the absolute best woman for me in the entire world? I have no idea. Is she the most physically attractive girl I've ever been with or dreamt about? Not even. But I do know that I had a really good time with her in the past when we did go out.
Maybe you just need to be a little more open-minded and flexible about your dating prospects.
I've tried to be more open-minded. In fact, the guy this thread is about isn't exactly someone that I would approach at a bar. He is cute, but he is balding a little bit. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but my type is talk, dark and handsome. Even a friend of mine said she didn't think he was THAT cute. Plus, he is kind of nerdy. And he has a football build. I was nervous to meet him because our conversation was so good that I was worried I wouldn't be physically attracted to him. So I did go out of my comfort zone.
There are other guys that I've gone out with that I normally wouldn't have. But they are the stage 5 clingers and text me CONSTANTLY and don't respect when I tell them I don't see it working out.
I used to be a lot like sweetjess where I wondered what was the hidden veiled meaning behind a cryptic message that was actually really straightforward. It took meeting a guy who never made me question if he liked me or if he'd call me to make me realize how I overcomplicated all sorts of situations with guys who just weren't in it for me.
Don't say online dating isn't for you, but learn that there may be a lot of great dates on your end that go nowhere and then there are guys you will go out with who felt a connection when you didn't. Just don't obsess over your dating life and forget the many other facets of your world.
I feel your pain. Hopefully someone you like who appreciates what you have to offer and is willing to make the effort to get to know you will come along.
This situation definitely changes how I approach things.
It frustrates me that this guy didn't take the time to get to know me. I'm actually a very silly, fun-loving, weird person. Sitting in a coffee shop, early on a Sunday morning doesn't exactly allow me to be "me". Plus, I was nervous. I wanted to make a good impression since I liked him.
I feel like I at least deserved a second date.
And that makes me wonder if some of the guys I went out with once deserved a second date.
I've tried to be more open-minded. In fact, the guy this thread is about isn't exactly someone that I would approach at a bar. He is cute, but he is balding a little bit. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but my type is talk, dark and handsome. Even a friend of mine said she didn't think he was THAT cute. Plus, he is kind of nerdy. And he has a football build. I was nervous to meet him because our conversation was so good that I was worried I wouldn't be physically attracted to him. So I did go out of my comfort zone.
There are other guys that I've gone out with that I normally wouldn't have. But they are the stage 5 clingers and text me CONSTANTLY and don't respect when I tell them I don't see it working out.
I honestly know exactly how you feel. I feel I have a lot to offer someone as well. I'm in good shape, attractive, great job, own my own home, I have minimal baggage/drama, and I treat the guys I care about very well. I usually go for guys I feel are about average in looks, I'm not at all aiming for the best looking guys - and still I frequently get disappointed/rejected/ghosted on.
I wish I knew what to tell you. I have friends of both genders who are smart, attractive, and successful who struggle with dating. Dating is just tough these days. I think with online dating, people have short attention spans. They can meet someone absolutely fantastic, but talk themselves out of it because just maybe there's someone else even more fantastic around the corner. There's also a lot of people out there in the dating pool who do NOT have it together. I've encountered a lot of guys not settled in their careers, recently divorced or out of a long term relationship, living with their parents, etc. Those things didn't prevent me from wanting to give them a chance, but in my experience when someone doesn't have those basic pieces of their life together, they aren't ready to commit to a relationship.
I also believe there are a lot of people out there who love drama and have no idea to do when there aren't any games and the person is open and available for them. It's like it's too easy and they lose interest. My only advice is try not to waste time on people who don't make an effort (like this guy) and just keep moving along. I prefer to find someone I like and date only that person, but my new strategy is to just keep dating no matter how much I like someone. Until I know the other person is on the same page I'm not going to limit my options.
I think what everyone here is trying to tell you is this - it sounds like you have a lot to offer in a relationship, so don't lower yourself chasing after some guy who can't be bothered to initiate another date. Just chalk it up to his loss and keep looking for someone who cannot wait to see you again for another date.
I honestly know exactly how you feel. I feel I have a lot to offer someone as well. I'm in good shape, attractive, great job, own my own home, I have minimal baggage/drama, and I treat the guys I care about very well. I usually go for guys I feel are about average in looks, I'm not at all aiming for the best looking guys - and still I frequently get disappointed/rejected/ghosted on.
I wish I knew what to tell you. I have friends of both genders who are smart, attractive, and successful who struggle with dating. Dating is just tough these days. I think with online dating, people have short attention spans. They can meet someone absolutely fantastic, but talk themselves out of it because just maybe there's someone else even more fantastic around the corner. There's also a lot of people out there in the dating pool who do NOT have it together. I've encountered a lot of guys not settled in their careers, recently divorced or out of a long term relationship, living with their parents, etc. Those things didn't prevent me from wanting to give them a chance, but in my experience when someone doesn't have those basic pieces of their life together, they aren't ready to commit to a relationship.
I also believe there are a lot of people out there who love drama and have no idea to do when there aren't any games and the person is open and available for them. It's like it's too easy and they lose interest. My only advice is try not to waste time on people who don't make an effort (like this guy) and just keep moving along. I prefer to find someone I like and date only that person, but my new strategy is to just keep dating no matter how much I like someone. Until I know the other person is on the same page I'm not going to limit my options.
I think what everyone here is trying to tell you is this - it sounds like you have a lot to offer in a relationship, so don't lower yourself chasing after some guy who can't be bothered to initiate another date. Just chalk it up to his loss and keep looking for someone who cannot wait to see you again for another date.
For a long time (I've been single for about 2 years now), I really didn't make the effort if the guy wasn't basically beating down my door. Recently, I saw a friend of mine stray away from the norm and really put herself out there, not caring if she was rejected, and she had a lot of success. So I thought that maybe I needed to put myself out there more. Normally, I would never send another text like I did today. But I thought "At least I will know one way or the other".
I 100% agree with you that most people love drama and don't know how to deal with someone who doesn't play games. I'm very much past the stage of wanting to play games. It makes me mad because I had originally reached out to this guy when I first moved here back in May/June. We exchanged a few emails but he stopped responding. It wasn't until a month or so ago that he reached back out to me, saying that he had to take a break from the online scene since he had ran into so many crazies. It makes me mad that I gave him another chance after he disappeared the first time.
Not only that, but based on what he had said he wanted - I was everything. But honestly, I feel like guys SAY they want one thing but date someone who is the complete opposite. I'm not the typical girl I see these days, looking plastic with everything perfectly in place. I'm not the girl that relies on a man to take care of me. The problem I see is that so many men go after those women, and then wonder why it doesn't work. Maybe because they don't have anything beyond the looks??
I'm the girl that wears yoga pants to the bar on a Sunday, drinks beer and watches the games ALLLLLLL day. I'm the girl that has my nail ripped off in warm ups, slaps a bandaid on it and still throws 7 touchdown passes in my flag football game. I can have an intellectual conversation and I can certainly look hot as hell on a night out on the town.
But for whatever reason, guys don't want that these days. At least not any I've come across.
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