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When I like a girl... I tend to not speak my true feelings out of the fear of messing it up and loosing her completely. I also don't want to rock the boat and cause stress for her.
For example: If she does something to **** me off, I swallow my feelings and don't say anything. If she plays cat and mouse with the CHASE game I don't say anything, after I get feelings..
But it hurts not speaking my feelings and it makes me wonder if it is less attractive to always pretend like everything is cool, when it is not... Like it really, really hurts after months of not saying something..
@Ladies do you find it unattractive when a guy tells you he likes you and cannot just be a casual date partner with you?
(assume you two already hooked up a few times)
@guys are you just blatantly honest? I.E. you don't sugar coat things and just speak your mind respectfully?
how do I talk about my feelings with girls without being NEEDY, WUSSY or WEAK sounding? What is the best way to tell her I want more than just being a last priority casual date......
I think this girl is using me and I want to give her an ultimatum because I just can't do this cat and mouse **** anymore unless it is going somewhere.. Being the pushover that I am I have been playing along and just pretending like everything is all good but its draining on me. I also suspect she may have feelings for her ex or something..
You might want to consider the role you are playing as well. Without knowing the details I will say this- most relationships depend heavily upon timing and circumstance. Think about if she is really taking advantage of you or if it is a circumstance or timing issue. I know for me I have so much on my plate right now it would be hard to invest in a relationship, even friendships at this point. I just have to hope people in my life understand I am going through major changes. New job, divorce, new place, supporting myself, etc. Good luck!
You might want to consider the role you are playing as well. Without knowing the details I will say this- most relationships depend heavily upon timing and circumstance. Think about if she is really taking advantage of you or if it is a circumstance or timing issue. I know for me I have so much on my plate right now it would be hard to invest in a relationship, even friendships at this point. I just have to hope people in my life understand I am going through major changes. New job, divorce, new place, supporting myself, etc. Good luck!
@No-One... If timing is bad for you but you casually see a guy then is there any possibility at all that when you are ready for a relationship that you will give him a chance?
Or will you keep seeing many different people?
Or stop talking to him because he was the lame guy that stuck around when you weren't ready?
I just don't understand how u can like a to a point of continuously talking, hooking up and using him as a date but not wanting to get in a relationship...
Sure I would give him a chance if the timing was right, and he was someone I wanted to be in a relationship with.
Personally it gets old, imo, to have casual relationships, especially if I care about someone- it hurts. So if this girl doesn't seem to see you as a long term relationship you might want to reevaluate that.
When I like a girl... I tend to not speak my true feelings out of the fear of messing it up and loosing her completely. I also don't want to rock the boat and cause stress for her.
For example: If she does something to **** me off, I swallow my feelings and don't say anything. If she plays cat and mouse with the CHASE game I don't say anything, after I get feelings..
But it hurts not speaking my feelings and it makes me wonder if it is less attractive to always pretend like everything is cool, when it is not... Like it really, really hurts after months of not saying something..
^^^ That would be a nightmare of a date to me. Unacceptable.
Quote:
@guys are you just blatantly honest? I.E. you don't sugar coat things and just speak your mind respectfully?
Stand up for yourself. Give it back to her without being an A-hole. Dont use her flaws against her i.e. if she has a "big" nose and she has trusted you enough to tell you that her nose bothers her. Tease her, but keep it light.
Or you can just separate yourself and get your mind off of her. Sounds like you friend zoned yourself in fear of her freaking out. Tell her how you feel and then separate, give her time to think about it. If she says she doesnt feel the same, thats a good thing. Because now you can get away and focus on yourself, and still make things work with her as a friend later on. If she likes you, thats also a great thing. If she doesnt care to you give you an answer, then shes an immature little girl and shes not who you want to be with anyways.
IDK dude these things are such a pain to deal with sometimes. Seems like sometimes, no matter what way you go its always a losing battle. Let it be known how you feel though and that all that matters, even if you think it will end things.
Stand up for yourself. Give it back to her without being an A-hole. Dont use her flaws against her i.e. if she has a "big" nose and she has trusted you enough to tell you that her nose bothers her. Tease her, but keep it light.
Or you can just separate yourself and get your mind off of her. Sounds like you friend zoned yourself in fear of her freaking out. Tell her how you feel and then separate, give her time to think about it. If she says she doesnt feel the same, thats a good thing. Because now you can get away and focus on yourself, and still make things work with her as a friend later on. If she likes you, thats also a great thing. If she doesnt care to you give you an answer, then shes an immature little girl and shes not who you want to be with anyways.
IDK dude these things are such a pain to deal with sometimes. Seems like sometimes, no matter what way you go its always a losing battle. Let it be known how you feel though and that all that matters, even if you think it will end things.
Listen dude... I did not Friend Zone myself because we hook up... Friends do not touch each others genitals or make out. Friends meet up casually and sit on opposite sides of the table..
When we hang out we act like a couple and everyone asks if we are bf/gf...
I cannot separate myself without telling her why, I don't want to lose her.
The advice is good that you gave, my problem is my feelings/how I feel kick in long after things happen...
Yeah, be honest and clear if anything. That is what I meant when I said ask yourself what role you are playing. Keeping things hidden is a form of passive aggressive behavior. You are judging her but not giving her your honest feelings. Tell her how you feel and then you will know if she is really into you or not.
I hate when others expect me to be a mind reader. Communication is key.
I won't give an ultimatum but I need to communicate my feelings.. It is literally burning a whole in me, we talk and I can't even bring them up... The only way I can do that is in person unfortunately...
I'm not into cat & mouse I thought I could do it but I can't, its just too hard because I caught feelings and I need to know where her head is at.
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