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Long story short, My HS sweetheart is getting a divorce and randomly messaged me on FB a few months ago. We have been talking almost every night since and have agreed to meet up, as she is moving to my city of Seattle (not for me. She has family here). We dated for 3 years about 20 years ago. We grew up in the same small town and shared everything. It was probably the best period of my entire life for a lot of reasons, but she was one of them. We broke up when she left the state to go to college in Nevada right after HS. She got married in her mid 20's, but her husband has left her for someone else, and she says their marriage has been bad for years because of his infidelity.
So here we are 20 years later both single with no kids. Last night she told me that she still loved me and that she thought about me all the time over the years but particularity the last few as her marriage dissolved, which motivated her to contact me. She said that she never loved her husband as much as she loved me, but thought that it had more to do with the fact that we were each-others first everything. As odd as it sounds, I never quit thinking about her all these years as well. I knew she got married shortly after the last time I talked to her in our 20's, so I never bothered to contact her, as I figured she was living the dream. This whole thing seems so unbelievable.
Do you know any couples that reconnected like this after this much time, and did it all work out?
What are the chances of this working in your opinion?
Long story short, My HS sweetheart is getting a divorce and randomly messaged me on FB a few months ago. We have been talking almost every night since and have agreed to meet up, as she is moving to my city of Seattle (not for me. She has family here). We dated for 3 years about 20 years ago. We grew up in the same small town and shared everything. It was probably the best period of my entire life for a lot of reasons, but she was one of them. We broke up when she left the state to go to college in Nevada right after HS. She got married in her mid 20's, but her husband has left her for someone else, and she says their marriage has been bad for years because of his infidelity.
So here we are 20 years later both single with no kids. Last night she told me that she still loved me and that she thought about me all the time over the years but particularity the last few as her marriage dissolved, which motivated her to contact me. She said that she never loved her husband as much as she loved me, but thought that it had more to do with the fact that we were each-others first everything. As odd as it sounds, I never quit thinking about her all these years as well. I knew she got married shortly after the last time I talked to her in our 20's, so I never bothered to contact her, as I figured she was living the dream. This whole thing seems so unbelievable.
Do you know any couples that reconnected like this after this much time, and did it all work out?
What are the chances of this working in your opinion?
I have never experienced what you are currently experiencing.
What I have experienced, however, is reconnecting with someone after a significant amount of time out of each other's lives.
One thing that you have to remember is that a person can change drastically in just a few years, no less 20. It sounds like you are idealizing the time that you spent with her in the past. You think that she is the same person she was before. Most likely, she is not. Just remember that as you proceed. You really don't know this woman at all anymore.
Long story short, My HS sweetheart is getting a divorce and randomly messaged me on FB a few months ago. We have been talking almost every night since and have agreed to meet up, as she is moving to my city of Seattle (not for me. She has family here). We dated for 3 years about 20 years ago. We grew up in the same small town and shared everything. It was probably the best period of my entire life for a lot of reasons, but she was one of them. We broke up when she left the state to go to college in Nevada right after HS. She got married in her mid 20's, but her husband has left her for someone else, and she says their marriage has been bad for years because of his infidelity.
So here we are 20 years later both single with no kids. Last night she told me that she still loved me and that she thought about me all the time over the years but particularity the last few as her marriage dissolved, which motivated her to contact me. She said that she never loved her husband as much as she loved me, but thought that it had more to do with the fact that we were each-others first everything. As odd as it sounds, I never quit thinking about her all these years as well. I knew she got married shortly after the last time I talked to her in our 20's, so I never bothered to contact her, as I figured she was living the dream. This whole thing seems so unbelievable.
Do you know any couples that reconnected like this after this much time, and did it all work out?
What are the chances of this working in your opinion?
The chances of things working out long term is the choice of both of you.
I would be very leary to even think about starting anything serious with her though since she is not even divorced yet.
Currently you are the rebound guy so I would take things slow and easy, you never know when her rebound days are going to be over and she might want to look for someone who is not the rebound guy.
Stay friendly but nothing serious, romantic or intimate for a while, she does need time to get over the divorce even though she wants the divorce. There is still a period of grieving after a divorce for many people because the failure of a marriage is a loss that has to be dealt with appropriately before one can actually move on.
The chances of things working out long term is the choice of both of you.
I would be very leary to even think about starting anything serious with her though since she is not even divorced yet.
Currently you are the rebound guy so I would take things slow and easy, you never know when her rebound days are going to be over and she might want to look for someone who is not the rebound guy.
Stay friendly but nothing serious, romantic or intimate for a while, she does need time to get over the divorce even though she wants the divorce. There is still a period of grieving after a divorce for many people because the failure of a marriage is a loss that has to be dealt with appropriately before one can actually move on.
She is is still n the legal processes of divorce, but she has been separated and living on her own for over a year now. I have no doubt we are completely different people, but I must say that it's almost creepy how fast we picked right back up in regards to our phone conversations. Some of my friends aren't even close to the same people they were 20 years ago, but she really doesn't seem all that much different for the amount of time that has gone by. We've discussed the fact that we both want to start out extremely slow, but I just don't see that happening to be honest. Too much has been said already to pretend like there isn't still a strong mental attraction, and we've both stayed in great shape over the years, so the physical attraction will be there too unless she has half a dozen Photoshoped pics of herself doing a triathlon on her FB profile and my buddy that says she's still a fox is lying. I realize I could be in for this to blow up in my face, but at this point I'm all in. The worst that could happen is we find out we're not right for each other anymore after a few months.
The rebound thing is what bothers me. It's in the back of my head and part of the reason I started this thread to read about other people's opinions of this whole thing and their experiences with similar reconections after many years.
The rebound thing is what bothers me. It's in the back of my head and part of the reason I started this thread to read about other people's opinions of this whole thing and their experiences with similar reconections after many years.
It's good that it bothers you - it should, since it's VERY real. I didn't understand that when I was younger and it resulted in many very difficult relationships. Tread lightly and slowly. Live your own lives as well as enjoying time together. Good luck!
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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You really know nothing yet. When you spend some real time together you'll have a better idea of where your relationship will go. Don't get too emotionally involved until you are actually in the same room together.
If you do manage to get into a relationship with this woman though, I think it will be an awesome story. Good luck to you both.
I normally caution against such things. However, you seem cautious about proceeding. The good times may or may not come back once you're in the same room. You will find people or their personality will not change over time.
She's feeling VERY amorous and wants to get it on. You're a safe sex possibility, rather than her start dating strangers. Don't fall for it. She left you once, she'll probably leave again. You're setting yourself up to get hurt again, big time. Which brings me back to one of my basic rules of mating and dating. Once its over, its over for good.
She's feeling VERY amorous and wants to get it on. You're a safe sex possibility, rather than her start dating strangers. Don't fall for it. She left you once, she'll probably leave again. You're setting yourself up to get hurt again, big time. Which brings me back to one of my basic rules of mating and dating. Once its over, its over for good.
We never broke up. She got a track scholarship and went to school out of state. We decided to mutually break up after a few months into her freshman year of college because we were over a thousand miles from each other. This was before things like social networking or Skype. I didn't even have a cell phone until a few years later. We eventually stopped talking and lost contact until our mid 20's when we reconnected on myspace, as both of our families moved out of state from the town we grew up in, so neither of us ever really went back. The last time I saw her in person was right about this time at a wedding in Salt Lake city. There was still a spark but we were both were in relationships at the time and lived a few thousand miles away from each other, so the thought of rehashing wasn't there. It's not about Safe sex, as she had a non serious partner for a while right after her husband left her ( like most people do right out of a LTR) If it was just about sex, she would just get another "booty call" when she gets to Seattle. Also, We haven't slept together since I was 19, so it's not like I'm a safer option anyways.
Last edited by lucky4life; 01-09-2015 at 09:32 AM..
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I will NEVER date any woman from my HS or Collage
