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Calling them oddballs is harsh. I have never had a relationship and I am not the least bit odd in any way. The majority of forever alones aren't odd either.
Some of the forever alone men I've met are some great guys. Some prefer being on their own over being with a woman.
Really? 20 in your entire life? I have ~20 a week smiling at me... I think you need to start looking around you.
My problem is that I had really really bad acne for a little while which mentally scarred me, and even though its all gone now I still instinctively assume women smiling at me are doing so in a cruel, making fun kind of way. Really messed up but I can't help it, have to remind myself that I don't look ridiculous anymore.
My problem is that due to my shyness, I am oblivious to a woman's signals. A woman could be staring at me right now and I'd think she'd be looking at the guy behind me. That's how clueless I am.
You can wax lyrical for weeks about forever alone men and the reasons why but the fact of the matter is that forever alone men, like forever alone women, are a small minority of the population and are, in general, oddballs who don't fit within the standards deviations of normal adult behaviour.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
This post couldn't be more false.
Djuna is right. Most people suffer the occasional setback in their personal lives, but the fraction of the modern American population who systematically and endemically struggles with finding a girlfriend/boyfriend is probably quite small, at least after say age 25. For most Americans, the problem is work-life balance, how to support their families, how to raise their children. Those who struggle with dating quite often also struggle with poverty, a ill-established life, dead-end jobs, poor health. Often in my diatribes I describe that lamentable disconsolate creature, the male in excellent health, with a thriving career, lavish retirement-plan, cushy estate in the countryside, but woeful and desperate failure with women. Well, that happens to be an accurate self-description, but it applies to a tiny slice of the American populace. Sometimes we lose perspective, and come to regard our own particular problems as mainstream problems. They're not.
I am somewhat shy when I do get out and about. But the bigger problem for me is that I'm visually impaired, and, besides being oblivious to any signals that might be sent my way, I can't get out that often because I don't drive.
As someone who is likely doomed to be forever alone, I can say I'm not picky. The problem is the only who ever had any romantic feelings for me were not remotely attractive to me.
Awww Dissenter you are too young to think like this.You will do fine, just knock off the tough guy crap at least with women.
What the hell does "forever alone" mean? How can anyone decide at age 25 what the rest of their life will be like? I think that mindset is very, very strange and indicates a need for a professional diagnosis and serious therapy.
What the hell does "forever alone" mean? How can anyone decide at age 25 what the rest of their life will be like? I think that mindset is very, very strange and indicates a need for a professional diagnosis and serious therapy.
I agree. Heck, I'm 24, and my mindset is VERY, VERY different today than it was a few years ago.
I'm curious how true this to guys here. On some other sites, I think it's true enough. If a guy gets well into his 20's without getting anywhere with women, it probably is because he is quite picky or quite passive. I can even use myself as an example of both - having never asked out or blatantly hit on a female in person, vs receiving a little of that from females (including bizarrely 2 who are now kind of famous). Been very non-social at times, too, which I'd put into the passivity category. (By the way, just to be clear, I have had some success with women.) No need to tell me that are some males (such as disabled or seriously aesthetically challenged) who can hardly attract anyone, but I think passivity or pickiness are much more common reasons for male loneliness.
For me, dating feels like a lot of work. I used to do pretty well with women when I was younger, but, the older I get, the less the whole thing appeals to me.
These days, dating gives me a lot of anxiety and I have an extremely jaded view of women in general. So I just avoid them in anything more than a platonic friendship.
Though, I don't really consider myself a "forever alone" guy. When I want women in my life, they are there. But I don't want them anymore.
Some of the forever alone men I've met are some great guys. Some prefer being on their own over being with a woman.
Most of them do not even consider themselves forever alone. They just don't see any chance for relationships or believe that they are meant for other people only.
Not necessarily. In your 20s, you're focused on school and establishing your career. .
If this part of your post was true no one that age would be in a relationship. You are just using that as an excuse.
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