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I have a friend of mine who lives two apartments over from me.
This week is reading week so a lot of people have left campus and housing to go home. My friend and I are one of the few still here. I was thinking about shooting him a text and asking if he wanted to come over and watch some movies. I planned to spend the day hauled up in my living room, might as well have some company, right?
Issue is, I don't want him to get the wrong idea. We all hang out in the same circle of friends -- there's about 8 of us -- but he and I have never really hung out alone. At the start of the semester, some of our friends were convinced he had a little crush on me or whatever. I never paid attention to it, because I had a boyfriend and I didn't reciprocate those feelings. Nothing changed between us; he never made a move so I figured it was just talk.
But a couple of months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. Which has allowed me to spend a lot more time with my friends. On a few occasions, I've gotten the idea that maybe he did have some feelings for me that extended beyond friendship. He's flirted, but I don't really feel the same way about him so I try to keep things light and friendly. I have a feeling that he's trying to pursue something but he's giving me time to get over my ex. He hasn't tried asking me out or broaching the subject, which I'm glad for.
Anyways, we texted a few days ago and he knows I'm still on campus. I think he's waiting for an invitation, but I'm worried about what that might entail. I feel like he's waiting for me to give him a reason or a 'go-ahead' to ask me out. Being valentines' day and alone with me seems like the perfect opportunity to say something. I don't mind him letting me know how he feels, I just know that I'm not ready to jump back into something. More importantly, I don't see him in a romantic light. He's a cool guy, so having him to hang out with would be great, but rejection would put a huge damper on the night.
I don't want it to affect our friendship or make things weird. I also don't want to give him the idea that I'm leading him on, or that I'm interested by inviting him over.
Inviting a guy over to your place when you're alone *may* send the wrong message. It's one thing if you guys have been close, strictly platonic friends for a while, but that's not the case here. You sort of know each other, but not that well really (it seems).
It's great that you haven't been playing games with him, and the best way to ensure he doesn't get the wrong idea would be to meet up at the library or something. Most guys I know would definitely look at an invite over to a girl's place - especially when she's alone - as more than just casual hanging out.
Inviting a guy over to your place when you're alone *may* send the wrong message. It's one thing if you guys have been close, strictly platonic friends for a while, but that's not the case here. You sort of know each other, but not that well really (it seems).
It's great that you haven't been playing games with him, and the best way to ensure he doesn't get the wrong idea would be to meet up at the library or something. Most guys I know would definitely look at an invite over to a girl's place - especially when she's alone - as more than just casual hanging out.
Ideally, I would love to have all of us together. That's usually how things go. But we're the only ones' left on campus. I think it would be more weird if I invited someone he didn't know because it would be obvious I'm using them as a buffer lol.
I don't want to make him feel awkward or anything. Campus buildings are closed. I was thinking of going to the mall to pick up some stuff, having him meet me there and going to the food court. A restaurant might be romantic, so I thought maybe the food court is a better option.
Don't even think of inviting him over. Invite him out for a bite to eat or something like that but stay out of your apartment.
I mean it.
Lol I just don't want to make him feel awkward; like I'm avoiding him or tiptoeing around him. If he has something to say, I want him to be comfortable enough to say it to me. I also don't want to put the dynamic of all our friendships at risk. If he feels like I'm avoiding him then that will carry on to how everyone else acts around him and I.
I want to reach a balance where I'm not leading him on but I'm receptive enough for him to say something if he needs to.
Woah, I haven't been messing with his head. Everything has been normal between us.
Calm down. I did not say you have. I said "don't."
Read the quotes of yours that i selected. IF you invite him over, there is a 99% chance he will think you're into him and get the wrong idea. You ALREADY KNOW you don't like him that way and you are pretty sure he does like you, so there is no way he won't get the wrong idea.
Therefore ... if you knowingly invite him over under these ^^^ circumstances, you will be messing with his head.
Just wait to ask him to get together on another day.
I agree.
Your replies don't indicate that you ever actually thought NOT asking him was an option, though.
I really think it would be a BAD idea.
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