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originally i said no to getting married (we'd only dated 3 weeks) and there was constant pressure from him. Then I said yes, but wait 2 years until I finish college, and again more pressure and finally i was worn out and worn down and gave in. I did finish college but kept it a "secret" that I was married, that much shame and guilt.
From my vantage point now, at age 49 with a lot more maturity and stability and having raised my own children, here was someone much older (he was 28, I was 19 when we got engaged) taking advantage of someone young and inexperienced and in many ways vulnerable. He is someone who sees what he wants and takes it. If someone tried to pull that with one of my kids I'd be furious. I take responsibility for my choices, but those were factors that were involved.
ummm.....wow how scarey that must have been for you...you knew he wasn't really for you but you gave into pressure.....i can imagine what everyone was saying... thank you again for clarifying . i am glad you are happy now
yes, girleylips, you do just know when you have found that special person. I didn't believe anyone when they would say this...I thought it was all BS but it turned out true. And like movingtohouston, hubby and I were friends prior..knew all the good and bad about one another but still chose to be with each other. I am glad I married a friend. I even put that on my wedding program.
that's amazing i always wanted to be friends and then get married.... you are living my dream
like i said, i am not in a rushing into marriage or even looking for someone right now...i am just seeing if there are success stories out there in a marriage because us younger people need alot of advice....the unmarried have no idea as to how it is to be married...so why not ask people that have been married and/or are in love and their reasons as to why they took the "plunge" as you call it
Well...not saying you need to scope out all your single male friends but just keep in mind who you click with and who you don't.
Also...hubby was unexpected which made me surprised at because of that other annoying statement thrown my way when I was single "when you aren't looking, it'll happen..." I got tired of hearing that but it ended up true. He says when we started having lunch together, he was interviewing me...He had been burned before by a horrid woman and wanted to find the right one the next time around.
that's amazing i always wanted to be friends and then get married.... you are living my dream
I always tell everyone, once you stop looking you'll find it. I wasn't looking for love and marriage and then boom there it was. Fell right into my lap.
Well...not saying you need to scope out all your single male friends but just keep in mind who you click with and who you don't.
Also...hubby was unexpected which made me surprised at because of that other annoying statement thrown my way when I was single "when you aren't looking, it'll happen..." I got tired of hearing that but it ended up true. He says when we started having lunch together, he was interviewing me...He had been burned before by a horrid woman and wanted to find the right one the next time around.
Well...not saying you need to scope out all your single male friends but just keep in mind who you click with and who you don't.
Also...hubby was unexpected which made me surprised at because of that other annoying statement thrown my way when I was single "when you aren't looking, it'll happen..." I got tired of hearing that but it ended up true. He says when we started having lunch together, he was interviewing me...He had been burned before by a horrid woman and wanted to find the right one the next time around.
then he found YOU how cute i really am not looking myself ....just stories like yours gives me a lot of hope that people do marry for the right reasons becuase they are in love with each other
lol great story...for some people it happens pretty fast you just know they are for you right?
i am glad you are happily married...i believe you made it work becuase you showed your actions of love as well...meaning: you were willing to compromise and sacrifice alot for each other.....do feelings for each other become more intense ? or does that fade away little by little...
I would say for us the affection did get more intense, because this is the one person who knows everything about me and vice versa. I couldn't imagine starting all over getting to know someone as well as I know him.
The passion goes in waves, sometimes stronger than other times, but it is always there and that helps. We are also very much a like in our world views, our financial priorities, interests, and agree on the best way to raise our son. These issues can become a strain on some relationships, and I have been very fortunate that hasn't been the case.
This isn't to say we haven't had some low points, because we have. Life catches up with you sometimes, it's how you handle the bumps that makes the difference and for some knowing when it isn't working(and never will).
I always tell everyone, once you stop looking you'll find it. I wasn't looking for love and marriage and then boom there it was. Fell right into my lap.
what got me discouraged was reading the city data forum and i believe i read too many negative comments on being married and got me thinking... you know? i was just saying that people claim to love each other but in most cases its not so... i know there is no certain guideline on love but there is a concept and i thank you for your intake
I would say for us the affection does get more intense, because this is the one person who knows everything about me and vice versa. I couldn't imagine starting all over getting to know someone as well as I know him.
The passion goes in waves, sometimes stronger than other times, but it is always there and that helps. We are also very much a like in our world views, our financial priorities, interests, and agree on the best way to raise our son. These issues can become a strain on some relationships, and I have been very fortunate that hasn't been the case.
This isn't to say we haven't had some low points, because we have. Life catches up with you sometimes, it's how you handle the bumps that makes the difference and for some knowing when it isn't working(and never will).
excellent advice from a very wise person thats how i see a marriage should be like alot of compromising and actions of love (sacrifices). i only asked about the feeling (passion) getting stronger because i asked alot of married couples if that dies off and a great deal of them said yes...so i remained confused since they claimed they were still in love with each other....i believe that passion has to grow....just like a tree...you sow the seed and watch it take root and grow into this big wonderful giant tree
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how scarey that must have been for you...you knew he wasn't really for you but you gave into pressure.....i can imagine what everyone was saying... thank you again for clarifying . i am glad you are happy now 
