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Just talk with her and tell her your not ready .That you need some time to deal with your issues. If your having doubts don't do it just to make her happy.
You will know when its time to move in together. When one person is pushing for it I feel they are trying to get away from something. Does she live with her parents?
If you're having doubts about this move, then don't do it. You not wanting to move into an apartment together may cause animosity towards each other; especially, if she finds out after you guys move in together that you never wanted to do this transition in the first place.
If you still have PTSD, don't move in with her. Tell her moving in together is premature, and you wouldn't want the relationship to hit the rocks just because the two of you were impatient and didn't want to wait until you healed some serious mental injuries. Be firm.
She's only 20. She doesn't understand about these things. She's being perky and upbeat, without understanding the profound ramifications of your physical and emotional conditions. She means well, but she's inexperienced in life, and isn't knowledgeable about these matters. So you'll have to do the right thing, and gently put your foot down, and keep it down.
Tell her the relationship is too important to you to risk blowing it, which is why you have to take your time before moving in. End of story. Say it like you mean it, not like you're looking for her approval or understanding.
If she takes it as a rejection, all that means is that she's not mature enough for you. You're only 23. You have plenty of time to find a partner for a mature relationship. Take your time, take care of yourself, and be well. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for.
What are your reservations? Do you know why you are having doubts? Is it because you aren't ready to give up your personal space? Not sure if she is the one? Afraid she won't be able to cope with some of your service related injuries? After a year of dating does she have a good idea of what they are and how you cope?
Thank you every body for all of your advice and thoughts. I appreciate the time y'all have taken to respond to my quarry. Yes she does live her parents and its about 45 minutes away from me. I spend 12 hours a day at work and struggle to be able to see here between working and sleeping. She doesn't have a higher education. She works for Onondaga county and is set with a solid career. I work at a steel mill and it is difficult for us to spend time together outside of the weekends due to the amount of hours I work and that I work third shift. I am worried about having the added stress with the new bills and such but it would cut down on Stress from deciding to see her after work or go home and the accompanying guilt of choosing to not spend the time with here during the week. All of you that have posted on here, I thank you. Your responses have helped me with feeling guilty about thinking the way I do about the situation. I know she wants to move forward with this part of our relationship because she wants to be able to spend our time together how we want to and not have to walk in proverbial egg shells while she ding time at her home. Her parents have been extremely open to me spending copious amounts of time there and have done what ever they can to help me, us, and any problem I am going through. I think I have been subconsciously shooing down her thoughts and ideas about the apartment and the process there within over the last few weeks, contributing to animosity between us.
A relationship is not all about one person. If the o.p. is dealing with physical and emotional trauma they perhaps should not have a girlfriend? But if they do... then I don't think the girlfriend is being all that unreasonable to want to live with a guy she has been dating for a year. He doesn't have to marry her.
If you still have PTSD, don't move in with her. Tell her moving in together is premature, and you wouldn't want the relationship to hit the rocks just because the two of you were impatient and didn't want to wait until you healed some serious mental injuries. Be firm.
She's only 20. She doesn't understand about these things. She's being perky and upbeat, without understanding the profound ramifications of your physical and emotional conditions. She means well, but she's inexperienced in life, and isn't knowledgeable about these matters. So you'll have to do the right thing, and gently put your foot down, and keep it down.
Tell her the relationship is too important to you to risk blowing it, which is why you have to take your time before moving in. End of story. Say it like you mean it, not like you're looking for her approval or understanding.
If she takes it as a rejection, all that means is that she's not mature enough for you. You're only 23. You have plenty of time to find a partner for a mature relationship. Take your time, take care of yourself, and be well. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for.
If you still have PTSD, don't move in with her. Tell her moving in together is premature, and you wouldn't want the relationship to hit the rocks just because the two of you were impatient and didn't want to wait until you healed some serious mental injuries. Be firm.
She's only 20. She doesn't understand about these things. She's being perky and upbeat, without understanding the profound ramifications of your physical and emotional conditions. She means well, but she's inexperienced in life, and isn't knowledgeable about these matters. So you'll have to do the right thing, and gently put your foot down, and keep it down.
Tell her the relationship is too important to you to risk blowing it, which is why you have to take your time before moving in. End of story. Say it like you mean it, not like you're looking for her approval or understanding.
If she takes it as a rejection, all that means is that she's not mature enough for you. You're only 23. You have plenty of time to find a partner for a mature relationship. Take your time, take care of yourself, and be well. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for.
^ Soundest advice here.
I tried moving in with a boyfriend when I'd just turned 18. It was an absolutely disaster because I was not prepared for the challenges and struggles of cohabitation. It takes a lot of work to live with someone. It's really not all it's cracked up to be. I can only imagine how your PTSD will strain your relationship further.
If you're not ready, don't do it. If you genuinely like this girl, by moving in with her, you're doing a disfavour to her and your relationship.
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