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I met this girl about a month ago and we found out we had a lot in common. Same interests. Same views. A lot of good conversation.
We started spending entire Saturday days together. Last week we were together all day and yesterday we were out until 1 am. Went to dinner, went to museums. All that great stuff. She kept playfully grabbing me all day. Walked so close that our arms were always touching. Laughing. Playing with her hair. Sitting at dinner just looking at me and smiling. All the signs, right?
Even before we would text and she keeps telling me that I exploit all her weaknesses with surprising her with little gifts, taking her fun places, listening to her and all that stuff.
When I get to her house to drop her off, I tell her I think I'm starting to develop feelings for her. She tells me that she knows and can tell. Then gives me nonsense responses: "my parents wouldn't accept you" (she's from Asia), "I don't know how long I'm going to be in the US", and then the biggest load of crap, I get the "I don't think I'm good enough for you". Actually the first two make some sense, but the last one really made me mad. Haha.
What is it with girls? Why do they play this game with the flirting and spending all this time with a guy while they know he has feelings for her only to have this sort of ending? Yesterday we spent 13 hours together. Come on! Hahaha.
She's actually kind of cool and I like her so I don't know what the future will hold. We are having a video chat tonight to talk about our conversation last night and I don't really know what to say.
Were you playing with her hair or was she? I'd find it weird if a guy started playing with my hair on a date.
That's besides the point... she either may not be into you or may be playing hard to get. Pending the results of your video chat tonight, make yourself less available. It'll drive her crazy if she's into you. You won't hear from her if she's not. Boom.
Maybe she just wants to have a good time and NOT get involved with a relationship. I personally like dating, but I am not looking for LT. When you said that you were " developing feelings" for her it probably sent up a red flag so to speak.
Maybe she just wants to have a good time and NOT get involved with a relationship. I personally like dating, but I am not looking for LT. When you said that you were " developing feelings" for her it probably sent up a red flag so to speak.
Let me clarify. Her English isn't that great so I need to use language she understands. I don't think that's the appropriate phrase to use to represent my feelings to a native English speaker. But given this, I had to work within the boundaries of what she will understand in English.
My thought was that she just wanted a "fling" so to speak while here in the US.
"Girls" don't do this. THIS GIRL is trying to tell you nicely that there is no future for you two.
Enjoy the visits or move on. I would back off. You're investing your time and energy in the wrong bank, IMHO.
We'll there probably is no future because I'm not moving to her country and she can't stay here forever. But I think that it's not just this girl that engages in this sort of behavior. I think that most men in reality would agree with me.
True dat. And you also killed the chase by investing in gifts and telling her your feelings so soon. You popped the balloon of mystery.
Ehhh let me clarify "gifts". I got her like some stupid lotion thing that she saw when we were out. Like $5. Not really an investment. Plus these girls from Asian are a little different than American girls. I would never do this stuff with an American girl.
You have more power and control than you think.
You have the power to realize that you have a choice...you can choose to spend more time with her and accept the fact that your relationship with her will probably not develop into a committed long term relationship based on her telling you that thing about her parents not accepting you as well as she doesn't know how long she will be in the U.S. If I had been her, I would have been upfront with you and said...."hey bowchickawowwow, I think you are a really nice person and I am having alot of fun getting to know you. I just want you to know that I can only be friends with you because...."
At least you would have known from the start what you were getting into and could have decided if you wanted to continue seeing her under those conditions. The flirting she did was probably just her wanting affirmation that she is attractive to the opposite sex. People do it all the time and as long as both people are unattached it is usually harmless. Except in your case, when she told you she knew that you were getting serious about her, for her to continue to behave in this manner seems a bit thoughtless and/or selfish on her part and led you on even more than necessary.
You will have other women in your life who are more mature, upfront about their intentions and won't have the need to play games with you. Not all women are like that and I think the key word here you even used in describing her is "girl".
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