What are the BENEFITS of marriage in the modern day? (cheat, husband)
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Once upon a time I saw no benefit to marriage at all. That's because I'd never really experienced a healthy, loving relationship before. The men in my past whom I had been involved with, always ended up being more of a liability than an asset. They made my world smaller and held me down. My married girlfriends were always complaining about the extra workload and drudgery that their husbands added to their life. Frankly, I wanted no part of it and was happily single for many years and lived a relatively glamorous lifestyle compared to my married friends. That was then, this is now.
Now I am married and wouldn't trade places with my old life for all the tea in China. When you are lucky enough to find the right person, marriage is wonderful. Having someone to share your life with, who supports you in your goals, who applauds your successes and picks you up when you fall ... it's an amazing advantage in life.
I hope you get to experience that some day. I wouldn't want to go through life without love.
All this, every last word of it.^^ Hopefully, those who haven't experienced this will someday. And, when they actually are in a happy marriage, they'll change their tune very quickly.
Once upon a time I saw no benefit to marriage at all. That's because I'd never really experienced a healthy, loving relationship before. The men in my past whom I had been involved with, always ended up being more of a liability than an asset. They made my world smaller and held me down. My married girlfriends were always complaining about the extra workload and drudgery that their husbands added to their life. Frankly, I wanted no part of it and was happily single for many years and lived a relatively glamorous lifestyle compared to my married friends. That was then, this is now.
Now I am married and wouldn't trade places with my old life for all the tea in China. When you are lucky enough to find the right person, marriage is wonderful. Having someone to share your life with, who supports you in your goals, who applauds your successes and picks you up when you fall ... it's an amazing advantage in life.
I hope you get to experience that some day. I wouldn't want to go through life without love.
You just described a relationship, not a marriage. It is possible to have one without the other.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish
Once upon a time I saw no benefit to marriage at all. That's because I'd never really experienced a healthy, loving relationship before. The men in my past whom I had been involved with, always ended up being more of a liability than an asset. They made my world smaller and held me down. My married girlfriends were always complaining about the extra workload and drudgery that their husbands added to their life. Frankly, I wanted no part of it and was happily single for many years and lived a relatively glamorous lifestyle compared to my married friends. That was then, this is now.
Now I am married and wouldn't trade places with my old life for all the tea in China. When you are lucky enough to find the right person, marriage is wonderful. Having someone to share your life with, who supports you in your goals, who applauds your successes and picks you up when you fall ... it's an amazing advantage in life.
I hope you get to experience that some day. I wouldn't want to go through life without love.
You know you can have love WITHOUT marriage right?
You just described a relationship, not a marriage. It is possible to have one without the other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
You know you can have love WITHOUT marriage right?
Some can, some can't. Some people need to have a marriage and some people don't. Someone who needs a marriage will likely not feel the same level of security, stability, and piece of mind in a relationship with out getting married. For some people, the act of getting married means a lot. There are those that do not need this - and that's fine, too. But people are different. Some people can have the same kind of relationship with out a marriage and some can't.
I've lived with a man as my "significant other" and although I loved him for a time, when push came to shove, I did not want to marry him. The reality was, I wanted to keep one foot out the door.
For me, marriage is completely different. Completely.
I've lived with a man as my "significant other" and although I loved him for a time, when push came to shove, I did not want to marry him. The reality was, I wanted to keep one foot out the door.
For me, marriage is completely different. Completely.
Explain to me how it's different????? I really want to know......
Explain to me how it's different????? I really want to know......
It may not be something that you can understand. And I don't mean that you are inferior or that your relationship is inferior in any way at all. I just mean that we are all wired differently. To me, getting married was very important. To me, it brings a sense of emotional stability and peace of mind that I just am not capable of having in a long term relationship with out marriage. To me, the willingness to make it legal, to sign on the dotted line, to make it official was very important. And not that getting married necessarily changed our relationship in any tangible way - but not getting married simply wouldn't have been enough for me. You and your partner seem perfectly at peace with your relationship and trust in it with out getting married. And that's great! Some of us are simply wired differently.
I've lived with a man as my "significant other" and although I loved him for a time, when push came to shove, I did not want to marry him. The reality was, I wanted to keep one foot out the door.
For me, marriage is completely different. Completely.
If you don't mind me asking, what changed with that significant other?
It may not be something that you can understand. And I don't mean that you are inferior or that your relationship is inferior in any way at all. I just mean that we are all wired differently. To me, getting married was very important. To me, it brings a sense of emotional stability and peace of mind that I just am not capable of having in a long term relationship with out marriage. To me, the willingness to make it legal, to sign on the dotted line, to make it official was very important. And not that getting married necessarily changed our relationship in any tangible way - but not getting married simply wouldn't have been enough for me. You and your partner seem perfectly at peace with your relationship and trust in it with out getting married. And that's great! Some of us are simply wired differently.
The typical argument about being more stable etc etc.... doesn't really hold much water for me when the divorce rate is as high as it is.
I mean no disrespect... and I've heard and read on here how it's different and many people have said so.... so in the vein of being intellectually honest maybe it is... IDK.........
I just see everyone around me that is married getting divorced, people cheat, break up for the stupidest reasons so it makes it hard for me to see how it's different.......
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Benefit?
