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Location: Los Angeles (Hancock Park), California USA
90 posts, read 89,313 times
Reputation: 110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by summer_land
The OP's topic has really bothered me recently. I get lots of looks when I go outside my door, but NONE of those guys ever approach me. Instead of approaching me directly, some will follow me to work, watch me walk to my car, or like this past weekend, stay in their car and watch me from their car for a good 10 minutes and finally drove off when I took off. They all have been pretty good looking guys too, so I don't know if they're taken and just like to look, or what? Pretty soon, I will have to resort to OLD, which I don't want to do because I don't like to post pictures of myself to the public.
I really don't understand it. I'm in my late 30's, so most women at this age are married, so do these men just assume I'm taken as well? Aside from my BRF, I'm a friendly person and have an awesome smile if I do smile, but smiling naturally is really hard. Also, I finally got fed up once, and did the first direct approach, but later learned he had a girlfriend.
As a man, I know our biggest achilles heel is ego. These guys may have been too concerned about getting shot down, etc., but wanted to admire you from a far. Albeit, a bit creepy and chickensh*t.
This is where OLD comes into play. If a woman doesn't respond to a flirt, wink, message etc., no harm no foul. Putting yourself out there and approaching woman (sometimes cold and unprepared) takes a huge amount of guts etc. But, all it takes is a smile and a simple "hi/hello"... the rest should flow.
I am rarely approached by guys. The ones that do end up talking to me automatically assume I have a boyfriend--I must because I'm so pretty--yup, I've gotten that. My friends think it's hilarious that guys will rarely talk to me--and guys NEVER believe that I am rarely approached.
I don't have resting ***** face. I'm easy to talk to. I'm attractive (I met a very nice gentleman--old school, turned out he actually had connections with my family) who even used the word beautiful towards me (I've heard that before, numerous times) just last night. I'm not a "blonde, playboy type." I am successful in my career (very), hard working, educated, and independent. Yet, I rarely get approached. It sucks. I am the kind of person who will start a conversation, but honestly, I still want that old school of approach me...and not with some cheesy pick up line!
Where are the guys with substance? The ones who are independent, but can make me laugh? Who can appreciate that yes, I have dinner and go see movies by myself--and I still enjoy a REAL book (currently re-reading Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451).
I wouldn't call myself lonely....but I am single. I just can't seem to meet a good looking (in my opinion...every one's is different), independent man. Screw the salary part--just have a career and enjoy it. Have friends who are true friends. Have your own interests.
Where are THOSE guys? Forget the "hot women." We exist. We just don't want to put up with guys without substance, who can make us laugh, AND we who are attracted to.
Most of them were so badly burned when they approached women in their younger years, that now they prefer just stare and sigh. It takes a lot of effort to rebuild your confidence after being treated like a pest. I wish women could understand this.
Last edited by stackoverflow; 04-17-2015 at 11:59 AM..
Hot women are playing life on easy mode. I don't believe they have it hard at all. If they say they do, they're lying. That's what I truly believe. Hard for me to feel bad for them.
Hot women are playing life on easy mode. I don't believe they have it hard at all. If they say they do, they're lying. That's what I truly believe. Hard for me to feel bad for them.
Sometimes, beauty can be a curse for a lot of women.
Hot women are playing life on easy mode. I don't believe they have it hard at all. If they say they do, they're lying. That's what I truly believe. Hard for me to feel bad for them.
This statement is just so many levels of wrong!!
I'm a firm believer on don't judge someone (at least, try as best as you can not to) until you can walk in their shoes.
I'm not going to lie--people let me go ahead of them in line, hold doors more often, little things like that etc...but when it comes to actually approaching me...nope. I've also worked my butt off in my career--I think, if anything, my looks have made it harder for me in what I do. I'm in IT....I had to prove just how smart I was to get to my level. In this field, people often think "oh if she's pretty, she's dumb." Sorry....not the case.
WHAT are you talking about?.. I have seen these sorts of remarks before.. lots of defeatist attitudes. You guys need to stop thinking that, because there are a lot of great, sexy women who do not live for money. Now, if you mean a Hefner, playboy bunny type, why would you want someone like that - who is exactly the type who wants a sugar daddy? Lots of talk about "HOTNESS" going on.. can you show examples? (OH, do you mean voluptuous, 23-year-olds with hair down to their rears, wearing a bikini, like in the Carls Jr. ads?)
I'm sorry, but if men would stop being "in love" with fantasy images, things would be a lot better for everyone. I blame those having created "girlie" magazines and imagery since, designed for males to "_________" to, having been programmed from puberty to think this is what it is all about. Then, the with Internet...more images.. and this stupid way of dating.. how helpful has this been?
Is there never any reality shown to men? Do you know how long it takes to wash and style very long hair, as women are depicted in those images? Then a man gets antsy because it is taking too long to get ready to go, and yes, she will be using creams and makeup (though you think she is just "natural"), then having to select appropriate clothing and shoes for the occasion. Four hours later... "I'm ready... oh, where'd he go?" (They want a woman to look good, but they don't want to wait around, either). Just as one minor example.
"Gotta get a hot girl" .."gotta have a hot girl"... GOD, this is all anyone hears or sees anymore, everywhere. Do you know how miserable men have become, being with an empty, superficial, Barbie? But, no..as long as she makes you go "schwiing" to look at her, you think that will make your life livable. What about the guy who couldn't get the "hotter" (I have begun hating this term) girls to pay attention to him, so he went to school and shot a bunch of people and himself. Why? Because he was wrapped up wanting to fulfill a fantasy (granted, he was not well). One guy here, after I had mentioned that before said "It's never what it is cracked up to be" (and if you go for the wrong kind of woman, you will get exactly what you don't want - then complain). If you seek the unattainable, you'll never be happy.
Just because a female appears a certain way, do you think that ensures she will be responsive and satisfy you? What about how she is out of the bedroom? Can she communicate?.. oh, that doesn't matter, right? Can she cook?.. oh, you will just always eat out. (People become involved due to sex, then reality sets in). This kind of thing contributes to failed relationships and marriages. And there is SO much more to real involvement than anything superficial.. ask the ones who have been successful. (Also, it does not mean that everyone is even capable of having this, for a variety of reasons, so there is that, too).
Honestly, I don't see or hear women saying or doing the same thing.. "gotta get a hot guy", "Oh, only a hot guy for me"...lol.. we don't hear this or see this, not that women don't want to feel that attraction to another. Women just want a nice relationship with confident, sweet, good guy...and there are those lovely guys out there, that some women are so lucky to be with. And wonderful, fulfilling sex exists between everyday people.. because "sex really begins between the ears".. (just look around.. tons of people..how many of those "fantasy women" do you see?) Lots of other good-looking, valuable people with positive characteristics, though, besides habits and flaws, that everyone has (outside of those who are incapable of having relationships, due to real problems).
OOhhh.. sorry for the rant... I've just seen too much of this..and it is not just young guys having these expectations. I just cannot stand seeing how things have become and so much dissatisfaction, when there doesn't need to be.
You need to turn off the disney channel. All of what you said sounds like a fairy tale.
Well that sucks for the women who can't get dates. If they refuse to take the initiative then they won't get anywhere, point blank. Following some book like it is a bible *smh*.
And if men don't take initiative, then they won't get anywhere, either, will they?
You are right specially in western countries, at least that is how it has been with me and what I've seen while living in Asia and USA. It is a man's duty to take initiative as women will hardly ever take initiative. Its just another thing where it all depends on men. Fair or not, that's just how it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrQdotJ
"When in doubt, let your teeth out" - A smile is the best icebreaker and gift one can give.
That's the only effort expected from women really.
I'm a firm believer on don't judge someone (at least, try as best as you can not to) until you can walk in their shoes.
I'm not going to lie--people let me go ahead of them in line, hold doors more often, little things like that etc...but when it comes to actually approaching me...nope. I've also worked my butt off in my career--I think, if anything, my looks have made it harder for me in what I do. I'm in IT....I had to prove just how smart I was to get to my level. In this field, people often think "oh if she's pretty, she's dumb." Sorry....not the case.
But I'm sure you'd prefer this to being 'unattractive'. I doubt you would give back your looks to the 'beauty gods' if they offered.
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Sorry....not the case.
