Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm going to chime in on the theory of the "average, girl next door type" - the perceived success of this type of woman is based on region. In my area, the girl next door type is also the back burner girl... the last resort when nothing better comes along. In my area, as a 30-something, the only way you're getting a date is if you're extremely extroverted (and doing the asking) + child free. If you are introverted and/or have a child, you're not getting a date if you're looking for a man with substance. If you want a freeloading man that you don't expect to be gainfully employed, sure .. dime a dozen. But, no man of substance.
My sister and I are both single, she's never married and I am divorced with a child. We're average - we both have cute features. We're both successful women in our careers. We have our sh** together for the most part. She is the adventurous type that will travel the world. We've also had many other good friends, also fairly average women, that have been the same as us - divorced with a kid and/or super introverted. All of us have remained single with no dates. I know many other women that fit the same criteria as above, and they have also remained single and dateless.
It just gets to the point where we accept that the men in our area are chasing the unicorns, and to consider us they would have to "settle" - which no man or woman should do! So, we trudge on in our single lives. I have no mislead notions that I'll ever be not single at this point.
Move to the Northeast. You will find a man on day one! In other parts of America decent guys in general are pretty shallow. If you moved to a place like NY where being a single mom and divorced is very common, no one wont really care unless if they are immature or selfish. Places like the sunbelt most men are chasing after really hot women. If your an average woman your best bet for a man is NYC, DC, Philly or Boston.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 04-19-2015 at 12:25 AM..
I saw this thread earlier this morning and wanted to add my two cents, but I HATE typing on my goddamned phone.
Long story short, I've sat and listened to GORGEOUS WOMEN--the one I'm thinking of specifically was tall, Italian, hot accent and all, fresh from Rome, in NYC--complain how men will not approach her. She was actually irritated by it, as she was a friendly girl looking forward to experiencing America, specifically NYC.
I told her it was my opinion that she was simply too hot (I did not mention her height, which wasn't ridiculous, but she was a model-type) and that most guys would be too intimidated or assume she was already taken. I was dating her friend, having great fun showing her the city, and she wanted that same experience with an American guy.
So yeah, I can see some hot women just not being approached by the types of men they'd fancy, it makes sense. They DO get 'hollered at' all day, though. I work with some women who look like walking pieces of candy, and can't get home on the subway without their earbuds in.
To some extent this is very true especially here in NYC. Some men are intimidated by really, really hot women, or just worried about hot women being two expensive, high maintenance or don't have enough money to be with them. Generally this is not the case. Lots of men here chase after average women who get most of the penis play around here. Just recently a woman that I was seeing she is not hot probably a 4 out 10 and is on the big side, she announced that she is in a relationship. Again I was seeing her a couple of weeks ago. Now a days I'm very cautious of dating average women now From now on I will probably aim for really hot women, because average women can always get a man around here. Hot and below unattractive women cant. Again this is NYC specific. I have been to other parts of America which is full of beautiful women and many are easy to approach and talk with.
I'm going to chime in on the theory of the "average, girl next door type" - the perceived success of this type of woman is based on region. In my area, the girl next door type is also the back burner girl... the last resort when nothing better comes along. In my area, as a 30-something, the only way you're getting a date is if you're extremely extroverted (and doing the asking) + child free. If you are introverted and/or have a child, you're not getting a date if you're looking for a man with substance. If you want a freeloading man that you don't expect to be gainfully employed, sure .. dime a dozen. But, no man of substance.
My sister and I are both single, she's never married and I am divorced with a child. We're average - we both have cute features. We're both successful women in our careers. We have our sh** together for the most part. She is the adventurous type that will travel the world. We've also had many other good friends, also fairly average women, that have been the same as us - divorced with a kid and/or super introverted. All of us have remained single with no dates. I know many other women that fit the same criteria as above, and they have also remained single and dateless.
It just gets to the point where we accept that the men in our area are chasing the unicorns, and to consider us they would have to "settle" - which no man or woman should do! So, we trudge on in our single lives. I have no mislead notions that I'll ever be not single at this point.
This is very common. Maybe not in NYC, but certainly on the West Coast. Being child-free doesn't make any difference. No one knows you're child-free, just seeing you out in public. They're making their choices based on looks, so they're going for outstanding looks + curves.
IMO, men are their worst enemy. They over think and make every excuse to not approach women....the funniest part, is that for every super hot female, who is b*****, there are 10 super hot females who are very self conscious, and who spend a lot of time with friends, and not in romantic relationships....Super hot women who question their beauty because they have low self esteem...super hot women have the same problems as average women...thinking otherwise is very ignorant.
You're right. As you say, they possess problems like anyone else (as we know celebrities may). They can experience self-doubt, body dismorphosis, especially with pressure on females to remain youthful.
Also, something to mention, having being informed that often times "models", who assumably are a type referred to (that no one ever shares an example of), such as those who pose for "Victoria's Secret", are not even "into men". (Similarly, as attractive Gay men being cast in "straight men roles"). These women have sometimes experienced molestation as children, as other women may have.
I never see an examination of realities by men (maybe just those on message boards who don't), having some imaginary notions that men want to believe. Even in the best of examples, they don't seem to realize that anyone has problems of some sort or another, some worse, just as men have.
LOL - where is that "hotness" vs. "craziness" operating map someone posted up awhile back? With high hotness and low craziness labeled "unicorns"?
Possibly the attractive but lonely gals are the crazy ones.
It's been awhile, so it's probably time to post that again. it's hilarious and so many guys on Cd take it seriously
I think attractive people who are single either want to be single, or are sabotaging relationships for various reasons. Most people that truly want to pair up, do. Some people think they want to pair up, but really don't because they are afraid of getting hurt or are to wounded from their previous history.
Hot women are rarely lonely,or at least always have someone in the wings waiting. Only reason they might be lonely for a spell is they're just being too picky.
Hot women are rarely lonely,or at least always have someone in the wings waiting. Only reason they might be lonely for a spell is they're just being too picky.
IMO, men are their worst enemy. They over think and make every excuse to not approach women....the funniest part, is that for every super hot female, who is b*****, there are 10 super hot females who are very self conscious, and who spend a lot of time with friends, and not in romantic relationships....Super hot women who question their beauty because they have low self esteem...super hot women have the same problems as average women...thinking otherwise is very ignorant.
Only you would blame these women's problems of not being approached on men.
A lot of guys believe that conventionally attractive women are lonely and/or single by choice because we know how other guys think in this regard, men love beautiful women. With that said yes there are some men who can get intimidated to the point that they won't approach but for every one of those guys there are 2 or 3 guys who have no issues approaching and yes it is hard to believe that all of those men that approach come at her with those cheesy PUA lines but approach her like a regular person would.
I get approached all the time but as it's been stated not by men I would seriously want to date. Guys tell me I'm beautiful all the time, buy me drinks, etc. but I can tell their interest in me is only surface level and I'm not interested in that. Older guys are trying to re-live their youth by hitting on younger hot women and just because you have the career/money now doesn't mean you are entitled to a hot woman and all hot women are not going to be interested in you just because you've "made it."
Granted there are some air headed hot women who are only satisfied with money/material things, however there are some of us who generally want a partner and not a "daddy" and it is difficult for us types. Also when we do attract a decent guy, he often worries if he's good enough and will I leave if/when something better comes along. It really doesn't take much to make a guy insecure and it's a shame some guys turn to being bitter jerks in order to escape from their insecurities intstead of working through them.
I totally agree with everything STEPH has posted and you sound like an awesome person! Wish I had friends like you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
a
it's hilarious and so many guys on Cd take it seriously
