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If you read my post--I don't need the cash. I make a VERY good salary and am perfectly fine dating someone who makes less than I do. If I want something--I buy it myself. He had no confidence and didn't know who he was as a person. That's different than all substance, no cash. Very much so.
To some extent this is very true especially here in NYC. Some men are intimidated by really, really hot women, or just worried about hot women being two expensive, high maintenance or don't have enough money to be with them. Generally this is not the case. Lots of men here chase after average women who get most of the penis play around here. Just recently a woman that I was seeing she is not hot probably a 4 out 10 and is on the big side, she announced that she is in a relationship. Again I was seeing her a couple of weeks ago. Now a days I'm very cautious of dating average women now From now on I will probably aim for really hot women, because average women can always get a man around here. Hot and below unattractive women cant. Again this is NYC specific. I have been to other parts of America which is full of beautiful women and many are easy to approach and talk with.
I live in the tri-state and work in NYC.
FYI for all those guys who say we aren't in the right places--I went out first by myself then met up with a girlfriend Friday, ran (I run 5Ks), shopped, dinner out on Saturday, and ran, Church, and yoga on Sunday. As well as shopping at Whole Foods. I got many stares, many mutterings of "hot damn" etc as I walked past (we CAN hear you and yes, it's rude) and numerous doors, etc open. I had to go to the locker room from my yoga studio at the gym....stares.
Did a single one of these guys talk to me? Nope. Did I smile at some? Yup. And said thank you when doors were opened, etc.
Look closer.. She's probably saying that she can't get a "quality" man.
It is true some women are quite shallow and only hold out for the guys who have a lot of money or look like Trey Songz, but whenever people say stupid things like "There are no good guys/girls," 9 times out of 10 it means they can't get who they WANT. That's just my experience.
There are a lot of good guys but where I am they are taken. Finding a qaulity man you share a mutual attraction with is difficult. The whole being attractive and having men flock to you isn't all what it's cracked up to be because majority of those men are only interested in ONS's. That's not really something counts nor is it something to brag about.
Move to the Northeast. You will find a man on day one! In other parts of America decent guys in general are pretty shallow. If you moved to a place like NY where being a single mom and divorced is very common, no one wont really care unless if they are immature or selfish. Places like the sunbelt most men are chasing after really hot women. If your an average woman your best bet for a man is NYC, DC, Philly or Boston.
I don't think northeast men are any less shallow than sunbelt or Midwestern men. I can't speak for the NYC metro area but Massachusetts outside the college scene is an absolute sausage fest. The Boston metro is a finance and STEM job market and these industries are still very male dominated. It is the competition among the post-college men that drives the behavior not their values.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon_fly_12
Pick up my whole life and move to an area I don't really care for .. on a half hearted whim that it will land me a man? Nah .. Quality of life is my top priority.
I agree with your sentiment. Moving hundreds or thousands of miles away for a hypothetical greater chance of better relationships does not make sense.
Move to the Northeast. You will find a man on day one! In other parts of America decent guys in general are pretty shallow. If you moved to a place like NY where being a single mom and divorced is very common, no one wont really care unless if they are immature or selfish. Places like the sunbelt most men are chasing after really hot women. If your an average woman your best bet for a man is NYC, DC, Philly or Boston.
Now, that is what a person gets for even remotely entertaining stereotypes. My understanding of men in this region is that they prefer driven, type-A females, (a little bit masculine) who have tons of discipline to keep slim and fit, make tons of money...and highly educated. So this profile does not fit, then?
Not trying to be a smart*ss or disrespectful. Sincerely, this is what I thought. In the South you would expect guys to not care a lot about a woman's superficial presentation...and yet they DO!
Now, that is what a person gets for even remotely entertaining stereotypes. My understanding of men in this region is that they prefer driven, type-A females, (a little bit masculine) who have tons of discipline to keep slim and fit, make tons of money...and highly educated. So this profile does not fit, then?
I don't know what the answer is at the society level. I have lived in the northeast for my entire life sans one month in GA and that stereotype does not fit me at all. I strongly dislike the female type-A's and find them repellent.
For some hot women, their real lives are like OLD: bombarded with sexual come-ons, grunts ("s'up?"), and arrogant shallow guys. They don't have the opportunity to be picky. The decent, down-to-earth guys don't approach them.
If these hot women expect a decent down-to-earth guy to approach them while they just sit there, of course they will be lonely. Can't complain if guys that are not worth their time approach them while they see nice guys walk past them and do nothing about it.
Do you think there is a number of a hot women who men assume are saturated with male attention or already taken, but are in fact lonely and hoping for guys to talk to them?
Here's my take.
These women get approached plenty, but the problem is that they get approached by 'players' and guys who feel they really have no shot anyway, they're not really getting approached by people who are looking for a "wifey" or a long term deal because they feel they can't "pull" that long term.
Also, a lot of decent men probably just figure that you have to be really rich to "support" a girl like this and they just can't afford it. If you aren't driving a fancy car, living in a fancy house, how can you really think a girl looking like that would go for YOU?
So, if you're a woman who looks amazing, "average" men are thinking they can't pull you while not being rich....so, those women miss out on "well off enough" guys who have a lot going on other than a huge bank account.
These women get approached plenty, but the problem is that they get approached by 'players' and guys who feel they really have no shot anyway, they're not really getting approached by people who are looking for a "wifey" or a long term deal because they feel they can't "pull" that long term.
Also, a lot of decent men probably just figure that you have to be really rich to "support" a girl like this and they just can't afford it. If you aren't driving a fancy car, living in a fancy house, how can you really think a girl looking like that would go for YOU?
So, if you're a woman who looks amazing, "average" men are thinking they can't pull you while not being rich....so, those women miss out on "well off enough" guys who have a lot going on other than a huge bank account.
It depends on how she's dressed, though. They don't all dress in designer stuff. Her clothes choices tell you whether she's high-maintenance or not. Unless you only see her in clubs, when she's dressed up. Dudes can really undermine themselves with dumb assumptions.
Last edited by NewbiePoster; 04-20-2015 at 08:18 PM..
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