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Like seriously you people are the most paranoid in the universe. You can still go to lunch with him, just don't have sex with him or talk to him outside of work. Any workplace without flirting is a horribly boring PC wasteland, just my opinion of course.
I find it a little hard to believe that anyone could be so naive. I suspect the OP is hoping someone will say--"yeah, go ahead with the friendship." Then 6 months from now we can read about how she is hopelessly in love with her co-worker and "should she let him know? and she didn't mean for it to happen and she didn't know he was married.
I see it too. The lunches turn into hey I'm in the neighborhood can I come see you... then he starts talking about how he's not happy at home anymore and how he loves spending time with her instead of his wife. He can't leave because he doesn't want to leave the kids but he's not in love with his wife anymore. OP falls in love and since he won't agree to a divorce, she accidently forgets to take her pill, now she'll be in is life forever and he'll love her and their baby.
This is all hypothetical of course but I've seen it happen time and time again with women who see no issue with being "friends" with married men.
Just find someone who is either 1) not married or 2) not in a committed relationship
None of that matters because he is who she wants and nothing will change because she doesn't see a problem with it. She's unaware of "married people rules" which she doesn't understand it's not about married people but respect for ones self. Her actions will have consequences but she'll have to see for herself.
I just hope the wife knows better when the "I have to work late" line starts coming up.
I see it too. The lunches turn into hey I'm in the neighborhood can I come see you... then he starts talking about how he's not happy at home anymore and how he loves spending time with her instead of his wife. He can't leave because he doesn't want to leave the kids but he's not in love with his wife anymore. OP falls in love and since he won't agree to a divorce, she accidently forgets to take her pill, now she'll be in is life forever and he'll love her and their baby.
This is all hypothetical of course but I've seen it happen time and time again with women who see no issue with being "friends" with married men.
This is what I was thinking. As you get more comfortable, you break more boundaries.
It's fine if I just have lunch with him. No problem. That's done.
It's ok if we hang out a bit outside of work, just not phone calls or texts, it's ok
Well we're just friends, it'll be ok to exchange numbers and call and text, just not late at night. That's done.
We're just texting and calling. That's not cheating, we're fine, even if it's a bit late.
I'm his god friend, he can talk about his relationship with me, it's fine. I want to help him
Etc. Things just keep escalating the more comfortable you get. before you know it, an affair has started with sex, or the guy is pretty much dating you behind his wife's back. Then it's rationalized with
Well even if we're together, long as his wife doesn't know, nobody will be hurt.
Even if we're having sex, I am not the one cheating, so I am still innocent
His wife doesn't treat him well, so I am helping him with his stress, etc.
Funny how often things start off innocent with a single being friends with someone who's coupled up, but turn into something to hide later.
So if you wanna be friends with him, no reason you can't meet his wife, or both of you hang out with her. He's already acting weird with his comment about being caught, or whatever it was.
Like seriously you people are the most paranoid in the universe. You can still go to lunch with him, just don't have sex with him or talk to him outside of work. Any workplace without flirting is a horribly boring PC wasteland, just my opinion of course.
It has nothing to do with Paranoia
It's about setting boundaries with people so lines to nkt get confused or blurred.
You can do anything unless it's physical and outside of work?
Haha
Good one.
I'm not an alcoholic, I leave at least one shot left in the bottle.
Last edited by rego00123; 04-20-2015 at 05:54 PM..
I forgot this is city-data where no one flirts ever, totally cheating.
"Precursor to"
It's up to this man and his wife to decide whether or not it's ok for him to be doing in their relationship (if she is even aware)
The OP has a different choice of her own.
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