Is if normal for a husband to give such a hard time about dressing up? (guys, couple)
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I guess some areas are more casual than others, because my husband does a couple of funerals per month and a decent number of people are in jeans. Not ratty old Levis, but jeans nonetheless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I think it is inappropriate to wear jeans to a wake, and I don't understand why people don't like to dress decently.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
I guess some areas are more casual than others, because my husband does a couple of funerals per month and a decent number of people are in jeans. Not ratty old Levis, but jeans nonetheless.
Oh, I've lived in those places, small town Wisconsin, Kentucky, Indiana, etc... I always thought it was inappropriate and disrespectful, but whatever.
Just because people do it, and even if it is the norm in some areas, that doesn't make it right, IMO.
That reminds me of when my step-father died. He hated dressing up or spending money on new clothes; dude had millions in the bank, but refused to wear anything but his old orange-tab Levis, white t-shirts, ratty ball cap, and flip-flops (or sneakers with the laces loose and untied, if it was cold out). For his funeral, he was dressed in his "uniform" as I liked to call it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
I think it depends on who the wake is for. Mr. CSD has a cousin who specifically told everyone no suits are allowed at his wake and funeral.
He never wore a suit and did not want anyone else to be uncomfortable either so it was jeans and tee shirts or a polo shirt.
No button down shirts, at his request and he was buried wearing his favorite jeans and tee shirt and hat.
I think one needs to focus more on themselves and what they wear than focus on others.
Life will be much less stressful and it will not appear that anyone is controlling anyone.
Given the history of posts from the OP, you are 100% correct. He's alcoholic with no desire to change. He's not the only problem though. OP is actually thinking about purchasing a home with this guy.
The mistakes keep compounding.
OP--Why do you stay with this man? I view divorce as an absolute last resort unless there is abuse, but in this case he is abusive. You really need to get over your fear of looking like a failure and pull your life together without this man in it.
Just because people do it, and even if it is the norm in some areas, that doesn't make it right, IMO.
Yes, it does. There is no intrinsic aspect of "respect" or "appropriateness" in the universe. It is dictated by arbitrary social customs, aka "the norm".
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia
Yes, it does. There is no intrinsic aspect of "respect" or "appropriateness" in the universe. It is dictated by arbitrary social customs, aka "the norm".
In the universe? No. In a society? Yes there is. And it is at a bigger level than a town, county, or state.
If he has to wear anything but jeans or shorts he has a temper tantrum and is in a bad mood for the remainder of the day it night. Like we have to go to a wake and I asked him to just at least wear khaki pants instead of jeans and he is giving me trouble tells me it doesn't matter what he wears. Shouldn't you at least not wear jeans to a wake? I've seen people in suit and ties.
The old familiar whine of, "Why does it matter?" The translation for this, by the way, is that it's all about him all the time. It's a sign of social retardation and narcissism, an insistence that the world bow and scrape to his way of doing things.
Sorry kids. No matter how much you'd like it to be otherwise, how you dress signals the world what you think of it. While I spend lots of days working in shorts and sandals, I would never dream of visiting a client in jeans. And I would certainly not attend a funeral, a wedding, a dinner party, or a host of other occasions in that kind of casual attire. Because it says that you don't respect the occasion enough. If you cannot put on khakis, jacket and a tie for Aunt Minnie's funeral, what you're really doing is saying that Aunt Minnie and her family don't matter to you to put a little extra effort into the occasion.
Now, I know that somebody will twist that around. Hey, I'm not suggesting that you wear Armani. I'm not suggesting that you have a closet full of three-piece suits. But anyone who is an emotional grownup should be able to not dress for every occasion as if they've just come in from bush-hogging the back forty.
It's too bad you married a child in an adult's body.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
The old familiar, "Why does it matter?" The translation for this, by the way, is that it's all about him all the time.
Sorry kids. No matter how much you'd like it to be otherwise, how you dress tells the world what you think of it. While I spend lots of days working in shorts and sandals, I would never dream of visiting a client in jeans. And I would certainly not attend a funeral, a wedding, a dinner party, or a host of other occasions in that kind of casual attire. Because it says that you don't respect the occasion enough.
It's too bad you married a child in an adult's body.
Yes, he should probably dress up, but he's not asking for advice. Be right or be happy. If he wants to look like an *******, let him. Or maybe he won't and the OP should lighten up. Arguing with a grown man over his clothes is a dumb fight to pick, in my opinion.
In the universe? No. In a society? Yes there is. And it is at a bigger level than a town, county, or state.
Ever heard of "house rules"? or "when in Rome..."? Local customs prevail. If those locals are going outside their locale then maybe you have a point.
You're not from around here, are you?
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