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my husband and I are married three years now. Caught him by accident, we are about to watched a movie and we hooked up his computer to our TV. Then boom, all of the naked photos, downloads, with different folders, pops up! Different poses Of woman Naked. Specially busty woman. Where I felt that my little boobs is not of a turn oN. I felt bad about myself. and we talked about this in many occasions that I felt bad, upset. And not comfortable. But He did it again. this time when I'm going to back up my phone to his mac. Everything sync in to my phone. Even a sexy photo of my few sexy friends. Sorry, but I need somebody who can help me understand this situation. It AmaZes me how my declared feelings of hurt is not recognized.
Thanks for the beautiful people who will take time to read this.
To understand why he does what he does you would have to understand for what purposes porn fills for him.
You can't understand the addiction (if he truly is addicted) without understanding his desire for it.
Watching/keeping porn doesn't nessarily mean he thinks worse or less of you.
For some it's as simple as porn offering stability in its predictability.
You have to be willing to understand him just as much as he should be willing to understand you if you ever want a common ground.
thanks, I can't get a closure in this issue. Cause it keeps happening and I think obviously none of us wants to accept it. Saving a photo of our friends freaked me out. I almost faint in amusement that it got to that point. I love him, we have a good marriage but this is often hits me. I can't stop thinking about it. Although, He said that He is attracted to a womans figure and it's beauty. It's total bs for me. I only Hope I won't get tired of giving in and just let it go.
thanks, I can't get a closure in this issue. Cause it keeps happening and I think obviously none of us wants to accept it. Saving a photo of our friends freaked me out. I almost faint in amusement that it got to that point. I love him, we have a good marriage but this is often hits me. I can't stop thinking about it. Although, He said that He is attracted to a womans figure and it's beauty. It's total bs for me. I only Hope I won't get tired of giving in and just let it go.
Is the romance in your relationship still strong? Does he still compliment you? Desire you? Are you making love regularly, or as frequently as you ever did?
If the answer is "yes" then you probably should not be too concerned or self conscious. If the answer is "no" then there may be some issues within your marriage (maybe not huge ones) and he is turning more to porn for a release.
It may be best for you to talk to a counselor about this, to really explore your concern for it, or if there is signs of issues within your marriage. Also, maybe, stop using his computer if you keep running into this stuff and find it upsetting. I know that does not change the behavior you dislike, but it will distance you from it a little more.
For him, if he does not feel there is a problem, he likely is not going to be motivated to make a change and therefore will continue to watch it.
Sexy pictures of your friends, however, is a bit creepy. How did he come to have these? Almost sounds stalker-ish...
Viewing pornography is absolutely normal as is masturbation. No partner should be concerned if they are confident in their relationship. I would even say its even healthier if the couple can share together.... builds a stronger sexual relationship. Pornography's intent is to enjoy sexuality... we are human... at our core sexual creatures.
Now...
Sexy pictures of your friends???? that's a different topic.
I am assuming that these friendships are built for social needs and their intent is not sexuality driven. I'm fairly open minded when it comes to sexuality but I would be concerned. If these friends have not approved and as with this thread the partner is not approving either.... I think one should discuss it. Its not so much the pictures themselves but how the relationship with these friends are being used in a manner that they are not aware of.
You may not like what I have to say, but IMHO, many men seek out porn for entertainment because their sex life at home is lacking. How often do you folks have sex. Does he want it more but you decline often? Is your sex life repetitive? Does he try to get you to try new things, and you decline that also? Instead of getting upset about the porn, you might try to find out what he thinks about the quality of your sex life? Maybe its time for some honest conversations with your husband. Many women don't understand that a man's sex drive can be very strong. For some men, its not a matter of being in the mood. Day or night, they're usually in the mood. Their switch is always on. Talk to your husband.
my husband and I are married three years now. Caught him by accident, we are about to watched a movie and we hooked up his computer to our TV. Then boom, all of the naked photos, downloads, with different folders, pops up! Different poses Of woman Naked. Specially busty woman. Where I felt that my little boobs is not of a turn oN. I felt bad about myself. and we talked about this in many occasions that I felt bad, upset. And not comfortable. But He did it again. this time when I'm going to back up my phone to his mac. Everything sync in to my phone. Even a sexy photo of my few sexy friends. Sorry, but I need somebody who can help me understand this situation. It AmaZes me how my declared feelings of hurt is not recognized.
Thanks for the beautiful people who will take time to read this.
You "caught" him.....
You "CAUGHT" him....
Are you a wife or a Warden.
Goodness lighten up.
He is not in custody.
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