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I can promise you that the amount of men that are tired of hookups is a LOT less than the amount of women who are sick of it. But both genders are guilty of perpetuating it.
It's hard out there.
I want to say "don't date trash" but even good people are doing this all the time.
In this day and age, it can be extremely difficult to find quality people to date who are also looking for the same thing you are looking for in a relationship. Many people go into relationships only thinking about short term, not about long term. If that relationship ends, oh well, on to the next one.
In this day and age, it can be extremely difficult to find quality people to date who are also looking for the same thing you are looking for in a relationship.
Yeah that's why when I found my boyfriend, despite the obstacles between us, I decided to not let go unless something horrible happens lol It took me over ten years of dating to finally find someone that had everything I wanted and was a good person who thought the world of me and had solid values.
But I guess the plus side of dating a bunch of people not worth your time is that you really learn what you want from a partner and you can zero in on who is a great catch and who just looks like a great catch.
Yeah that's why when I found my boyfriend, despite the obstacles between us, I decided to not let go unless something horrible happens lol It took me over ten years of dating to finally find someone that had everything I wanted and was a good person who thought the world of me and had solid values.
But I guess the plus side of dating a bunch of people not worth your time is that you really learn what you want from a partner and you can zero in on who is a great catch and who just looks like a great catch.
I'm there with you 100%. Same with me and my GF. There were some obstacles in the beginning and many people here told me to throw in the towel. But given what I had to deal with on the dating market, I had great hesitancy in doing that. So I stuck it out and things have improved greatly, mainly due to our vastly improved communication and comfort levels with one another.
Dating is the worst for people like us I think, who are looking for that life-long partner. It's great for people who just like to meet people and have fun and don't really care about long term prospects.
It's human nature to take what we can get.
Even the most honest people find ways to justify actions that can be interpreted as dishonest by others.
It's up to you as your own person to protect yourself against the world around you, nobody else is going to be your better judgment for you.
If that's the case then why should anybody try to be honest? We should all stoop low since game players and dishonest people won't be held accountable anyway.
If that's the case then why should anybody try to be honest? We should all stoop low since game players and dishonest people won't be held accountable anyway.
You are the only person you can be accountable for.
Thats life.
As much as you may feel you know a person that is not you, the reality is you will never fully know someone. You will only know what you know "about them"
Which leads directly in to...
People try to be honest becuase they want to be. Their are various reasons for wanting to be an honest individual. honesty/transparency breeding trust is chief amongst those because it informs others around them that they are worth the company of others
Last edited by rego00123; 06-08-2015 at 04:07 PM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Yes, people of all ages play games. It's immaturity, aversion to commitment, lack of desire to live a "monogamous" lifestyle, etc. that contribute to it in some way or another. I'm personally far more conservative with respect to this.
Most people want a monogamous lifestyle. I truly believe that. It just needs to be worth it. Doing monogamy with someone just for the sake of saying you're monogamous, or you're tired of looking, or just because that person is available then, or because you're worried about what society may think, aren't good reasons IMO. The benefits of monogamy with that one individual need to clearly outweigh the benefits of other choices, it takes partnering with a pretty amazing individual to have that be the case.
You are the only person you can be accountable for.
Thats life.
As much as you may feel you know a person that is not you, the reality is you will never fully know someone. You will only know what you know "about them"
Which leads directly in to...
People try to be honest becuase they want to be. Their are various reasons for wanting to be an honest individual. honesty/transparency breeding trust is chief amongst those because it informs others around them that they are worth the company of others
So who is to blame in these situations or do you feel the people who are dishonest are in the right?
It takes partnering with a pretty amazing individual to have that be the case.
I agree with a lot of what you said but some people take the whole "waiting for a pretty amazing individual" to a ridiculous degree, waiting for a first class person and ignoring all of the business class people along the way just because they aren't "perfect."
Meanwhile, they just hook up with the business class people and don't take them seriously. But time is also running out of their favor is what they don't realize.
I have a few good male friends that have it all together- Yet I got a call last night from one of 'em telling me how this latest flake played nothing but mind games w/ him & uses him at her whim... Is this the trend these days- for women to constantly text guys when they're bored, lonely etc. But then when he shows he's actually a good guy- They cut out as fast as they can? I feel bad for young guys these days I've never been a game player- I told my friend to block this girls number & anyone else who's this immature. Obviously both sexes play games, but I'm just shocked at how badly these guys are being treated.
But then, society insists on portraying men as more unfaithful than women, who are vulnerable damsels at the mercy of immoral men. Unscrupulous people come in all varieties. And men can be gullible when eye candy shows up. I have also experienced the whimsical gal who likes to exploit her physical charms in the game of 'bait and switch'.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseLikeAnyOther
I agree with a lot of what you said but some people take the whole "waiting for a pretty amazing individual" to a ridiculous degree, waiting for a first class person and ignoring all of the business class people along the way just because they aren't "perfect."
Meanwhile, they just hook up with the business class people and don't take them seriously. But time is also running out of their favor is what they don't realize.
I never said nor implied perfect. I said amazing. I meant amazing for you. The people I've felt this way about aren't close to perfect, if anything, their flaws make them more attractive. It makes them real. If the chemistry isn't there, and you can't see yourself building a life with them, I just don't see the point of entering into a monogamous relationship with them.
And why would time be running out of their favor? I don't get that at all. I mean, we'll all die someday, but monogamy or marriage isn't something that people need to check off on a box to die well.
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I've never been a game player- I told my friend to block this girls number & anyone else who's this immature. Obviously both sexes play games, but I'm just shocked at how badly these guys are being treated.
