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My wife and I are talking about marriage counseling and are working out the details. One of our main issues is her family so why not get them involved in the discussion and the actual meetings with the marriage counselor? I know it sounds crazy in some ways but genius in others. My wife says they are open to it, but I don't know if it is common or even allowed by marriage counselors.
Would you consider having your spouses parents and or brothers and sisters involved in the marriage counseling if they were part of the problems in your marriage?
Couples therapy/marriage counseling isn't necessarily the appropriate setting, but family therapy may be, depending on the circumstances. A therapist that specializes in couples therapy/marriage counseling may or may not be open to doing family therapy, depending on their training, areas of expertise, and personal interest.
That said, even family therapy may be a stretch, except in very specific circumstances. Most traditional family therapy involves the traditional nuclear family with whom one lives, and in-laws, except possibly in the event that they live with you, are less likely to be involved. While there may be relevant history there (as is generally the case), the fact that in-laws aren't an active daily part of your family life, unless you are cohabiting with parents or something makes them somewhat outside the traditional scope of family therapy.
One important thing to remember about therapy is that a therapist provides counseling to the client, not to people who are essentially extraneous to the situation. It's likely that if your wife's family plays a role in marital problems, the answer is for the therapist to work with what YOU and YOUR WIFE can do to address and resolve them having a level of influence that's not appropriate in your marriage. Having them there won't address that, really. In fact, it could have the opposite effect...reinforcing that they are equal partners in your marriage, when they are not. It would be better for the couple itself to identify what about the in-law family dynamic causes issues, and what they, themselves, can do to rectify that.
My wife and I are talking about marriage counseling and are working out the details. One of our main issues is her family so why not get them involved in the discussion and the actual meetings with the marriage counselor? I know it sounds crazy in some ways but genius in others. My wife says they are open to it, but I don't know if it is common or even allowed by marriage counselors.
Would you consider having your spouses parents and or brothers and sisters involved in the marriage counseling if they were part of the problems in your marriage?
No. Usually when the spouse's family is a problem, it's because the spouse is having trouble setting boundaries with them. Marriage counseling will help the spouse see that, and how that inability to set boundaries is harming the marriage.
Learning how to set boundaries is often something for individual therapy, and then, if necessary, family therapy.
Basically, it sounds like your wife needs to keep her family out of your marriage and business, quite the opposite of the both of you inviting them in by inviting them to your counseling sessions.
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