seems like divorced people re marry much faster than never married people? (dating, wife)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ive never been married, but almost all the people I knew that were once married and divorced seemed to re-marry again in a short time?
I wonder how they do it? I know a guy that rushed back into marriage right after his divorce, it almost looks like he did it to show his ex wife he has also found somebody else too?
It really depends on an individual's temperament, personality, what they are looking for. There are a lot of variables.
There is some research that suggests that when couples divorce, particularly in middle age or later, the men are far more likely to remarry sooner/at all than the women, and this is excluding situations where the breakup of the marriage was preceded by infidelity.
One theory is that once men become accustomed to the companionship of a spouse, it's hard to give that up, even if you don't want to be with the initial spouse anymore, going back to being alone is unappealing. Women past a certain age seem to be more comfortable staying single for longer post-divorce, in large part because they generally are the more likely sex to have established strong social networks outside their spouses, and don't feel as alone when no longer married. Men are often not as adept as women at sustaining nurturing, supportive friendships, so they don't have that same safety net, necessarily.
There are women who have difficulty being alone, too.
Anecdotally, my MIL and FIL divorced, relatively amicably, in about 1991, after 20+ years of marriage. My FIL did not stay single for long, and did get remarried within I think 5 years. That marriage lasted about ten years, and he's been single, since. I don't anticipate that he will remarry again. My MIL never got remarried, and as far as my husband knows, she's not so much as dated since her marriage ended in '91. She's a happy, active, motivated woman whose life is full of work (even part-time volunteer work in retirement), friendships, activities, her Catholic parish circle, has a group of college friends who meet at least annually even though they are all in their 70s, now; she travels often to visit family and friends, she maintains season tickets to the local repertory theatre and goes to plays with friends often, has a friends of the museum membership to our local art gallery, and is generally highly social and active. It's unsurprising to me that after her marriage ended, she found other things to fulfill her life. My FIL, on the other hand, seems a bit lost without a wife. He's a very nice man, but not ultra social, keeps to himself, retired and doesn't do really anything to stay social, hasn't cultivated or maintained a circle of friends. I think the only people he socializes with are me, my husband (we make a point to do dinner with him one night a week), his teen daughter from his second marriage, and his older brother and that brother's wife. I don't think he goes anywhere other than his empty old man apartment and the grocery store, except when he's with us, or driving his daughter around to her stuff, which happens less now that she drives. Other than that, he really is just kind of a loner.
I have noticed this as well. If a divorced person decides to marry, they seem to be able to do so within 5 years, whereas people past the age of 30 who have never married obviously take longer than that to find someone (given they have wanted to marry). There are exceptions of course... One reason may be that they are appealing to others and/or not too picky, which is why they married in the first place, and why they don't find it hard to marry again. Getting married and having a happy marriage with a compatible partner are two different things, of course.
Last edited by orangeapple; 07-09-2015 at 03:46 PM..
I agree with TabulaRasa on many of her points. I was married for 21 yrs. and then engaged to a man for 6 years. I called it off and I honestly have no desire to re-marry.
I think there have been studies showing that men are more apt to remarry quickly. My ex remarried within three years of the divorce because he literally hated being alone without someone to cook and clean for him. I probably would have remarried if I found someone who would cook and clean for me! lol
There are women in the same boat though, that just can't be alone. To each their own.
Companionship becomes very important to people who are not skilled or comfortable forming their own social networks sans a partner. That's generally more likely to be men then women, especially after middle age. Men tend to have notable difficulty making new friends and social contacts well into adulthood, much more so than women.
Ive never been married, but almost all the people I knew that were once married and divorced seemed to re-marry again in a short time?
I wonder how they do it? I know a guy that rushed back into marriage right after his divorce, it almost looks like he did it to show his ex wife he has also found somebody else too?
I don't agree with this statement because:
1. about 25% of today's 20-something American cohorts are projected to stay never-married throughout their lifetime
2. Less than half of those who marry and divorce will happen to remarry.
I'd say the myth is created based on claims in the likes of MSNBC and Fox, who deliberately presented increasing trends of cohabitation (which is now becoming a mainstream) as something that only or generally only young, unmarried couples do - before eventually marrying.
They deliberately ignored the fact that remarriage percentages among divorcees in 1950s were almost the same as percentages of total ever-married population, while the remarriage rates of divorced folks are dropping faster than first-time marriages.
in 1950s and 1960s you had a situation where Americans virtually remarried each time they'd wind up in a long-term relationship and it shows clear trends. Trends of decline were faster than trends of declining of ever-married folks.
Despite all that, there are plenty of people who think that marriage is, or it should be highly sought as, the final stage of long-term relationship, especially among today's 40somethings, 50somethings and older folks.
I don't agree with this statement because:
1. about 25% of today's 20-something American cohorts are projected to stay never-married throughout their lifetime
2. Less than half of those who marry and divorce will happen to remarry.
I'd say the myth is created based on claims in the likes of MSNBC and Fox, who deliberately presented increasing trends of cohabitation (which is now becoming a mainstream) as something that only or generally only young, unmarried couples do - before eventually marrying.
They deliberately ignored the fact that remarriage percentages among divorcees in 1950s were almost the same as percentages of total ever-married population, while the remarriage rates of divorced folks are dropping faster than first-time marriages.
in 1950s and 1960s you had a situation where Americans virtually remarried each time they'd wind up in a long-term relationship and it shows clear trends. Trends of decline were faster than trends of declining of ever-married folks.
Despite all that, there are plenty of people who think that marriage is, or it should be highly sought as, the final stage of long-term relationship, especially among today's 40somethings, 50somethings and older folks.
This is obviously about people who WANT to marry and how FAST they do it, not simply how many people eventually marry or re-marry.
All of your data is irrelevant because it doesn't concern whether or not individuals want to marry nor how quickly they accomplish that. It may be true that there are more first-time marriages than re-marriages overall, but that doesn't tell us how long it takes for someone to find a marriage mate. It seems those who remarry do so faster than those who have yet to marry, given that both desire marriage.
OK, I keep seeing statements about divorced people remarrying faster than those who have never been married/divorced, and it's bugging me. It's the word "remarry"...how can you "remarry" if you have not ever been previously married? And is the assertion here that those who have been previously married and divorced tie the knot upon shorter acquaintance with the new love interest, as opposed to time in relationship with a first timers' marriage situation?
Sorry but the wording just keeps hanging me up. My inner grammar nerd is fussing.
One interesting point about differences with men and women though, my exhubs is desperately lonely without companionship. He needs a woman to fix his attention on and have a thing with, or he feels like his life is just over, he's going to be alooooonnnne...forrevvverrrrr... I on the other hand. Want loads of friends of my own, have an intense need to build a big social network "on the outside" (as mentioned by previous poster regarding inlaws)...and while I'm enjoying dating and...all that sort of thing... if I did not have any one special man in my life for a while, I'd be OK. It sucks that he needs this so badly and can't find it, and I don't need it that much but I'm crawling with options. I wish I could give him some of my mojo, but I don't think he'd like the particular options that have made themselves available to me, for the most part. (OK, maybe a few of them, but I AM bisexual, so...)
I also know a lot of women in their 40's and older who are divorced and talk about it being the best thing they ever did, now they take care of themselves, now they can do what they want with their lives, and they don't care if they ever have another serious relationship. They're happily single. I don't know as many men who feel that way, or who are single as older adults, and not at the very least pretty bitter about it. I even knew a woman who changed her last name to "Free" after she got divorced.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
