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Some men (and maybe women, but I don't generally read their profiles) make a point of commenting on their gift for sarcasm in their profiles.
Do they think that is a cool thing that women are looking for and therefore they should brag about it?
Or are they aware that some women don't like it and are warning us if we can't take it, don't bother them?
I certainly appreciate a good sense of humor, and I love irony and I can be somewhat facetious and even snarky at times. When I use sarcasm, it is only directed at situations, not people. For example, if I am driving down the street and I see a tree has fallen on someone's car, I say "OMG< I hate it when a tree falls on my car" and then continue with genuine empathy for the plight of the car owner.
But I see sarcasm employed as veiled hostility and an attempt to keep other people in their place, so if a guy mention it in a profile, I keep looking. My ex constantly 'teased' me, esp in front of his family, as if I were his kid sister, and did a lot of damage as a result. He needed to maintain his position in the pecking order, and that did not include supporting his wife.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma
Some men (and maybe women, but I don't generally read their profiles) make a point of commenting on their gift for sarcasm in their profiles.
Do they think that is a cool thing that women are looking for and therefore they should brag about it?
Or are they aware that some women don't like it and are warning us if we can't take it, don't bother them?
I certainly appreciate a good sense of humor, and I love irony and I can be somewhat facetious and even snarky at times. When I use sarcasm, it is only directed at situations, not people. For example, if I am driving down the street and I see a tree has fallen on someone's car, I say "OMG< I hate it when a tree falls on my car" and then continue with genuine empathy for the plight of the car owner.
But I see sarcasm employed as veiled hostility and an attempt to keep other people in their place, so if a guy mention it in a profile, I keep looking. My ex constantly 'teased' me, esp in front of his family, as if I were his kid sister, and did a lot of damage as a result. He needed to maintain his position in the pecking order, and that did not include supporting his wife.
what do you think?
Some women hate sarcasm. I would not want to date such a person.
Some women love it and dish it. I would like to date such a woman.
These profiles exist to help us find the right match for us. If it isn't your thing, don't bother with them. Both parties will be better off.
Thankfully I live now (again) in the Northeast where most everyone embraces the most refined form of humour in the world: dry humor.
Some women hate sarcasm. I would not want to date such a person.
Some women love it and dish it. I would like to date such a woman.
These profiles exist to help us find the right match for us. If it isn't your thing, don't bother with them. Both parties will be better off.
Thankfully I live now (again) in the Northeast where most everyone embraces the most refined form of humour in the world: dry humor.
The thing about sarcasm is that it can give the impression that you want to say what you want and when you want too. I like sarcasm too, but it can become tiresome after a while. It feels as if the person can't focus on ever being serious.
Or are they aware that some women don't like it and are warning us if we can't take it, don't bother them?
In line with giving people the benefit of the doubt, this one. ^^^
BTW, don't assume that sarcasm will necessarily be directed at you. I knew a fellow who was a master at the art of sarcastic self-deprecation. He was comfortable enough to laugh at himself, which is entirely too rare these days. Nothing brutal, just funny and ironic. "Yes, I'm Ivy-educated and roam the halls of power, but God forbid I get through a meal without getting something on my tie. I should just take a bib everywhere."
In line with giving people the benefit of the doubt, this one. ^^^
BTW, don't assume that sarcasm will necessarily be directed at you. I knew a fellow who was a master at the art of sarcastic self-deprecation. He was comfortable enough to laugh at himself, which is entirely too rare these days. Nothing brutal, just funny and ironic. "Yes, I'm Ivy-educated and roam the halls of power, but God forbid I get through a meal without getting something on my tie. I should just take a bib everywhere."
I don't mind this type of humor, but some forms of sarcasm are just boring.
I used to talk to a guy who thought he had a great sense of humor. He would comment that I don't get "dry" humor. Um, no; I don't get unfunny humor.
I personally wouldn't use sarcasm as a selling point. I'm fine with it, depending on context, and am certainly a judicious user of sarcasm myself. But it's not such a big part of my identity that I'd play it up on what's basically an advertisement for myself. If it's a major enough selling point that somebody's highlighting it in their profile, I would likely assume that there is a definite possibility he's a more abrasive, caustic person than I would likely prefer. Also, I've noticed that those who bill themselves as "sarcastic" as a major personality trait are also often the same sorts of personalities who will write off their own rudeness as "What? I'm just being [honest/blunt/whatever]..."
I certainly appreciate a good sense of humor, and I love irony and I can be somewhat facetious and even snarky at times. When I use sarcasm, it is only directed at situations, not people.
But I see sarcasm employed as veiled hostility and an attempt to keep other people in their place, so if a guy mention it in a profile, I keep looking. My ex constantly 'teased' me, esp in front of his family, as if I were his kid sister, and did a lot of damage as a result. He needed to maintain his position in the pecking order, and that did not include supporting his wife.
what do you think?
I think exactly like this
Some people unfortunately disguise their evilness inside "humor".
As with most other things, done in moderation is alright and there is a time and place for it. If it's on a constant basis, nope couldn't deal with that. I remember one person I very briefly dated she would take digs or make comments and then say "oh, can't you take sarcasm?" That got really old in a hurry. My response to that was she wouldn't have said it if she didn't really mean it.
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