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Get it over with. Ask Him to Marry YOU. Then, then yes or no, you'll have your answer, once and for all.
If you don't know, marriage is a huge risk for men in the USA. Once a man is married, as the years go by, and they have children, the financial risk is greater and greater. If the wife divorces him, he can be left with child support, alimony, he can lose his house, part of his pension if he has one, and still be left without the kids. In your case, you could potentially take the kids back to your home country and he would never see them again. I can understand why he hasn't asked you.
We don't live in the States and rules are different here. Plus, I have more money saved up than him and we earn about the same. No need to be scared about finances.
And about the kids, it also doesn't work that way here.it is impossible to leave the country with the kids if not BOTH of the parents allow it. You cannot just take the kids and leave. They won't even let you on the plane.
Thanks for all the answers! I think I will discuss it with him one more time to see what his thoughts are and to make it clear again how important it is to me. I won't be able to do that in the next two weeks because I'm going on a business trip.. After that for sure.
I would probably move on. Especially if this man is 30 or above. I don't like putting a timeframe on when a man should propose but if you both have careers and your in your late twenties/early thirties then yes by the third year marriage should be a topic of discussion. This doesn't mean he has to pop the question but it should be something he's mentioned and something he can see happening pretty quickly. Most people, that are old enough and experienced in relationships, know by the first year if they can see that person being a wife or husband in the future. Definitely by the third year they know as well. You don't want to waste too much time on someone that isn't interested in what you want--if your goal is marriage then ideally you need to find someone who wants the same thing instead of sticking around with someone who is unsure.
I absolutely do. It's why I have no intentions of ever getting married. I've been around the block enough to know that I would never be happy living with my BF, or any other man for that matter.
But you would, presumably, not pair off with a person who truly values and desires cohabitation and/or marriage, then, no?
Couldn't agree more you are not this guys soulmate,the one etc etc - most people when they meet that person they just know,there's no doubt.he is full of doubt that's why he won't discuss it and delays.
And I agree about not living together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by irootoo
In my experience, a man who wants to get married will push things along, not drag his feet.
At this point, even if he reluctantly proposes to you, your feelings about him will forever be tainted by the fact that in three years, he didn't want you enough to marry you.
Trust me on this. I was with my first husband for 4 years before he reluctantly proposed. We were married for 9 years after that, and through that entire time, I couldn't get it out of my head that he didn't really want me enough to marry me, he just did it because he was getting pressure from his parents.
My second husband proposed to me after we had known each other for a month. I had no doubt whatsoever that this man wanted me, right now and for good. We've been married for 24 years now, and although we've had the normal ups and downs, I have never had that nagging doubt about whether I was really the one he wanted, or if he just settled or gave in to my nagging.
BTW, for any single women reading this, I would sincerely recommend NOT moving in together if you want to marry the man at some point. Living together kills the romance--I don't know why, but it does.
Marriage is an incredibly ancient and important pact,it is not just a piece of paper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679
I was about to ask the same thing. Obviously, I am clueless, but I don't see how a legal agreement changes anything. In the OP's case, however, she is only a temporary resident and marriage would change that.
People think living together is a commitment and a path to marriage. It is not. Move on. Keeping this real.
Mae
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Lol
Update?
