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Not a gold digger, but likely materialistic - no different from most. When I was single and dating, any woman who gave me any hint of being materialistic was dumped on the spot. I don't need any of that nonsense - there are 4 billion more out there.
I'm wondering how things would be if the roles were reversed. I'm assuming she'd be humbled to be dating you because you made more than her? It's pretty weak when a relationship is based on income potential. I'd prefer to date someone who had a twinkle in her eye when she saw me. As long as I knew she was trying her best I'd do my best to be a supporting partner. Let's thank the abundance of reality shows to skew reality...
Well in her defense, her husband didn't work, and i get that she doesn't want to go through that again, but like i told her, you are trying so hard that its off putting. I have a job, have always held a job, and you make me feel bad for not making as much as you. She said sorry, but Idk. I mean yeah her ex had a job and he couldn't keep it, but I kinda wonder if the reason that they didn't have problems was because she was always nagging him about it.
Women don't like it when their male partners make less than them. It's hard wired, evolutionary biology.
I have been dating someone for almost a month now, and we sort of got into it over money. She makes closer to 50k in a city where it is hard to make that much. She has done well for herself and has only held 3 jobs in her life time and she got this one when she was 18 and has been at her job for 12 years now. Its cool that she is successful, but she told me that she would not date a person that ever worked at Mcdonalds. I asked her why not? I mean, my standards are as long as you have a job and you can afford your bills, then we are straight. FWIW, I make a little over 30k and I do not work at Mcdonalds.
I don't make as much as she does, and when she says things like this, it really makes me uncomfortable. She admits that she lives in a bubble and can be judgmental, which is funny because she and her family are not perfect. I just don't understand how someone can be so judgmental when they are not perfect themselves.
Because I work at a at will state, it worries me that if there was another recession and I was to lose my job that she would leave. I dont know if this is gold digging behavior or what. She says that she just wants to have the same level of living. I told her what happens if she were to lose her job or something else happened. Not everyone starts at the top and she had help. I also told her that at 50k, she is not rich just middle class, and we both are just "average americans". I guess I am more humble than most because I grew up poor while she did not. I don't know, what do you guys think?
Well, I don't know if she's a "gold-digger" or not, but it sounds like she thinks she's "above" other people, and that's not good, either.
And if it's o.k. to toss in a slightly old-fashioned view here: if you and she are "dating," and "for almost a month"- not married, not close to it- your income and work history are really none of her concern.
And if it's o.k. to toss in a slightly old-fashioned view here: if you and she are "dating," and "for almost a month"- not married, not close to it- your income and work history are really none of her concern.
I disagree. If she's marriage or long term relationship oriented, these things matter. There's no point in wasting each other's time if they aren't compatible in this area. Disagreements on financial matters are the #1 cause of divorce.
Women don't like it when their male partners make less than them. It's hard wired, evolutionary biology.
The reverse can be said for men. They might not openly admit it because they don't consciously think it.
In a psychological sense, men like to provide and help their partner. They like to feel useful. If a woman is too independent and makes a high salary, a man will generally not feel as necessary in her life. This will (subconsciously) turn him off from the woman.
Women don't like it when their male partners make less than them. It's hard wired, evolutionary biology.
Biology is often over ruled, otherwise I would be a mass murderess, and that is merely referring to traffic events.
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My guess is that she came from a very comfortable middle class family. Daddy probably bought her a nice car when she started to drive, helped her get her job etc. I'd agree, she's a snob. She wouldn't consider dirtying herself with someone who is "working class". My guess is that she is using you as a temporary bf until someone who makes more money comes along. Failing that, she'll push you to get a better job, be more aggressive, make more money, start a business or something to raise you income and status.
I can't figure out how anyone thinks they should apologize for hard, honest work, whether its MickeyD's or anyplace. But I certainly have no time for snobs.
Well in her defense, her husband didn't work, and i get that she doesn't want to go through that again, but like i told her, you are trying so hard that its off putting. I have a job, have always held a job, and you make me feel bad for not making as much as you. She said sorry, but Idk. I mean yeah her ex had a job and he couldn't keep it, but I kinda wonder if the reason that they didn't have problems was because she was always nagging him about it.
So you feel inadequate. Instead of getting your panties in a bunch and being judgmental yourself, why not just find someone like yourself who is content with their lot in life. Just because someone wants more out of life than you do doesn't make them a gold digger or social climber. She's WORKING for what she wants so it's not like she's looking for someone to support her, but rather looking for someone with at the very least the same level of motivation as she has to partner with.
Now you want to drag her down even more by suggesting that the problems in her marriage were due to her nagging as opposed to the fact that her husband couldn't hold a job, forcing her to be financially responsible for the both of them. That s**t would get old pretty fast for me too. If he lost a job through no fault of his own I could see it, but not being able to hold multiple jobs would send up a red flag, as would some who'd attack my character because I wasn't just content to get by like they are.
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