Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Honestly, if a guy cooled off on me, I would give anything for an honest reason why.
I get "I'm just so introverted" and "I'm so self absorbed, I am always in my own head" and a host of other, "It's not you, it's me" lines. And then I see that he is back to shopping on OKC pretty much constantly. I try to ignore it, but he shows up in my matches all the time and he is ALWAYS on there. It's not that he doesn't want or cannot do a relationship. It's that somehow, for some reason, I was not and am not what he wanted.
And I will never know why, because he'll never tell me.
Is it something I could have changed to make it work out better between he and I?
Is it something that will sabotage me in future relationships, that I could work on or avoid doing?
I'll never know.
I'd love it if a guy told me that I was a little too much this or not enough that. Might give me something to focus my attention on improving. Rather than a mysterious vanishing act that leaves me wondering what the heck happened.
I was chatting with a guy from a dating site a while back and he seemed really nice. We hit it off almost immediately, I liked his sense of humor and we had a lot of things in common. After chatting every day for about 10 days he said that I have a really pretty face. I was very flattered by his compliment and thanked him, then I asked what he thought of the rest of me and he said honestly I'm a bit too chubby and that it's a shame as I deserve to have a better body and that he would be even more attracted to me if I did. I got upset and his reaction was to tell me that losing weight isn't that hard, and that he's done it himself. I told him that is not the way to compliment a woman, and I stopped chatting to him. He sent me a message a couple of days later saying don't take it so bad, it was just an observation, and that I did ask for his opinion. But still, that doesn't change the fact that he is very superficial and judgmental. I was very upset and I still am. Every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded of his rude comment to me. I'm sick of these insensitive jerks.
Dump him.
Too many men are so mentally screwed up thanks to porn and the media, that they think they are entitled to have arm candy while they can look like hell themselves.
Women need to STOP contorting their bodies in order to get the "love" and attention of men. It doesn't work, and it doesn't last. Age eventually takes a toll.
Losing weight isn't the same for men as it is for women, and that is because women have much more difficulty with hormone balance and thyroid issues.
People need to avoid that online dating crap. I know it is convenient, but it is all superficial. We have one sick, twisted culture that puts a premium on women's looks when in fact they don't mean anything in the long run. Men on the other hand can look terrible and it is okay.
I don't think this guy is insensitive, I think you're too sensitive! If anything, he's honest. Just because you don't like his answer doesn't make him a jerk. Sometimes the truth hurts.
You should take his advice and lose some weight. Better yet, post some pictures and let others tell you what they think.
He is an a**hole. Losing weight doesn't work in the long run. Online dating absolutely stinks because you are forced to consider things that really don't mean squat in the long run.
I was chatting with a guy from a dating site a while back and he seemed really nice. We hit it off almost immediately, I liked his sense of humor and we had a lot of things in common. After chatting every day for about 10 days he said that I have a really pretty face. I was very flattered by his compliment and thanked him, then I asked what he thought of the rest of me and he said honestly I'm a bit too chubby and that it's a shame as I deserve to have a better body and that he would be even more attracted to me if I did. I got upset and his reaction was to tell me that losing weight isn't that hard, and that he's done it himself. I told him that is not the way to compliment a woman, and I stopped chatting to him. He sent me a message a couple of days later saying don't take it so bad, it was just an observation, and that I did ask for his opinion. But still, that doesn't change the fact that he is very superficial and judgmental. I was very upset and I still am. Every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded of his rude comment to me. I'm sick of these insensitive jerks.
If he could find a woman with a pretty face and a body that meets his requirements, he'd have no need to talk to you, so he shouldn't have complained.
That's harsh, but at least you didn't date him first. Better to find out he's a jerk now. There are millions of guys out there who would love to date a woman like you. Don't let other people dictate how you feel about yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TartanCarrellas
I was chatting with a guy from a dating site a while back and he seemed really nice. We hit it off almost immediately, I liked his sense of humor and we had a lot of things in common. After chatting every day for about 10 days he said that I have a really pretty face. I was very flattered by his compliment and thanked him, then I asked what he thought of the rest of me and he said honestly I'm a bit too chubby and that it's a shame as I deserve to have a better body and that he would be even more attracted to me if I did. I got upset and his reaction was to tell me that losing weight isn't that hard, and that he's done it himself. I told him that is not the way to compliment a woman, and I stopped chatting to him. He sent me a message a couple of days later saying don't take it so bad, it was just an observation, and that I did ask for his opinion. But still, that doesn't change the fact that he is very superficial and judgmental. I was very upset and I still am. Every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded of his rude comment to me. I'm sick of these insensitive jerks.
I was chatting with a guy from a dating site a while back and he seemed really nice. We hit it off almost immediately, I liked his sense of humor and we had a lot of things in common. After chatting every day for about 10 days he said that I have a really pretty face. I was very flattered by his compliment and thanked him, then I asked what he thought of the rest of me and he said honestly I'm a bit too chubby and that it's a shame as I deserve to have a better body and that he would be even more attracted to me if I did. I got upset and his reaction was to tell me that losing weight isn't that hard, and that he's done it himself. I told him that is not the way to compliment a woman, and I stopped chatting to him. He sent me a message a couple of days later saying don't take it so bad, it was just an observation, and that I did ask for his opinion. But still, that doesn't change the fact that he is very superficial and judgmental. I was very upset and I still am. Every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded of his rude comment to me. I'm sick of these insensitive jerks.
You asked, he answered. I thought women preferred honesty no matter brutal it was.
You asked, he answered. I thought women preferred honesty no matter brutal it was.
We are not a hive mind, we are all different. Just like men.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
