Tribal problem (dating, marriage, family, children)
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Is anyone here seriously dating a Native American? Well, I am one of them, and there is something about this tribe that really shocks me. This tribe (to remain anonymous) excludes those that are not "tribal members". "Tribal members" are basically those people that are born into the tribe. Even though this tribe is as radical as any other culture that I know (almost all of the tribal members date "outside" the tribe, because if they do marry someone within the same tribe, it is considered.... tabboo... marrying someone within your tribe is like marrying your own sister), this tribe excludes those spouses that are not from this tribe. How far does this tribe "exclude" the non-tribal-member spouses? Well, let me put it this way: no matter how many kids you have with a tribal member of this tribe, they still won't let you into certain things/ events that tribal members get to participate.
For example, if you are married to someone from this tribe, your tribal-member spouse and your child/ children get full access to this tribe, but since you are not from this tribe, you are left in the dark, while they get to participate in that culture.
yeah, it's not like you can "convert" into the tribe...you HAVE to be born into it! Looks like you will just have to weigh in the pros and cons of this relationship! You certainly won't be going into it with your eyes closed....it's alot to think about!
I'd like to add that this is very similar to the Pacific-Islander mentality: if you're not "their race" by blood, you are to be excluded. I just never thought that Native American culture could follow such "islander" culture.
I thought only white people were allowed to be racist. Maybe someone should point out to the Native Americans involved that they are supposed to represent some new age ideal of how we can all live together in peace with nature and with each other.
I think it's something they've done for hundreds of years. Not your fault...just the way it is. Something you'll have to take into consideration if you want to persue a relationship with a tribal member. Either live with it or don't. Either date a member or don't. You or I may not like it...but it suits them just fine and to them that's all that matters. I would not hold it against this person you are dating. It's not their fault.
Racist, hey, that's a word that I never thought would apply in this situation, but now that you brought it up, I guess it does! The only advantage to being a Native American though, is that, since they are considered "sovereign nations" (even though the US government has the most sovereign power in the US), they "sort of" can get away excluding non-tribal-member spouses/ parents from doing certain things.
In the Native American culture, they defend this "exclusion" culture by relating it to the citizenship issue: if you are not born in the US, but apply for citizenship (to become NATURALIZED US citizens), then you can stay and enjoy the benefits of being US citizens EXCEPT for things as running for political positions (Naturalized US citizens cannot run for US presidency or vice-presidency).
But still, I still am boggled by this... I guess I really don't understand why they don't want to spread their culture by including those married into the culture INTO their culture. Though the tribe does not exclude the non-tribal members spouses from everything that they do, there are still some exclusions, and that I find a bit repulsive.
...Maybe someone should point out to the Native Americans involved that they are supposed to represent some new age ideal of how we can all live together in peace with nature and with each other.
The only tribal people I ever met who shared that fantasy were white and belonged to the Wannabee tribe.
They wore Indian Beads and had "Dream Catchers" hanging from their car mirrors.
There is no reason a "non-community" person cannot date within most Native-American tribes. This is called "exogamous", in that they allow outside marriage. Those that allow marriage only within their tribe, thus as posted before me, are marrying their relatives (endogamous). The tribes are generally hetreogenous (diverse) and multicultural. What you need to do is show respect to the father (patriarchal rule) or mother (matriarchal), depending on who is running the family. Personally, if I were a Native-American, I would be proud of my heritage and extremely cautious of the English.
Is anyone here seriously dating a Native American? Well, I am one of them, and there is something about this tribe that really shocks me. This tribe (to remain anonymous) excludes those that are not "tribal members". "Tribal members" are basically those people that are born into the tribe. Even though this tribe is as radical as any other culture that I know (almost all of the tribal members date "outside" the tribe, because if they do marry someone within the same tribe, it is considered.... tabboo... marrying someone within your tribe is like marrying your own sister), this tribe excludes those spouses that are not from this tribe. How far does this tribe "exclude" the non-tribal-member spouses? Well, let me put it this way: no matter how many kids you have with a tribal member of this tribe, they still won't let you into certain things/ events that tribal members get to participate.
For example, if you are married to someone from this tribe, your tribal-member spouse and your child/ children get full access to this tribe, but since you are not from this tribe, you are left in the dark, while they get to participate in that culture.
Now, what is your opinion on this?
Many of the "recognized" Native American tribes in the US receive recompense from the government that is then distributed to recognized members of the tribe.
Having rules such as the ones that you describe may be a way of keeping "outsiders" from marrying into the tribe and having access to the benefits in question (which is not much, but when you are divvying things up, sometimes it is the reaction of some to keep others away).
I know that rules such as the ones you mention are often found in tribes with casinos, as a portion of that money is doled out among members, oftentimes.
Without knowing the tribe in question, though, it is hard to say what the precise reasons for such rules are.
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