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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I'm into male dominated stuff (for the most part), including music styles, but I've always found women much easier to talk to. Dudes are people I generally compete against (for work, sports, ladies)... women its just easier to be friends.
I don't know any women who like everything you do. The foodies may like your shows (like me), but they hate sports. My friends who like sports either don't watch TV (they're very outdoorsy) or they don't care about food. Very few of my female friends play video games. You'll probably have to let go of your laundry list.
I didn't say I require everything on the list but it would be nice if the girl shared most of the things on the list
It is posts like this they really make me wonder...
I should be most guys dream chick...
I like food, love football, drink whiskey and beer, watch tv, play video games, enjoy the gym, love cars and trucks, boating, shooting guns and still look hot in a bikini at 36 years old.
That's why lists are silly. Everybody can look good on paper. You have two children (a very big deal) by two men (bigger deal), one of whom is trying to murder you (massive deal).
A guy can be handsome, smart, successful ... and have herpes. Or the kind of guy who likes to slap women around. Or a gambling addict. Brantley here talks about what a 10 he is, but he's a self-proclaimed money-hungry shark who makes nasty comments about women and has crippling social anxiety. Call him on it and he goes back to Mr. Perfect. Nobody can be distilled to a handful of ideal traits.
That's why lists are silly. Everybody can look good on paper. You have two children (a very big deal) by two men (bigger deal), one of whom is trying to murder you (massive deal).
A guy can be handsome, smart, successful ... and have herpes. Or the kind of guy who likes to slap women around. Or a gambling addict. Brantley here talks about what a 10 he is, but he's a self-proclaimed money-hungry shark who makes nasty comments about women and has crippling social anxiety. Call him on it and he goes back to Mr. Perfect. Nobody can be distilled to a handful of ideal traits.
Children should not be a deal breaker. My oldest childs father died before she was born. I was in a 7 year relationship with my sons father. I have a teenager and a preschooler, so it is not like I have been out there having kids willy nilly with just anyone.
My sons fathers behavior is his issue and not something that I should accept blame for. I cant help that he is crazy. Heck he really cant help it either.
I find people of all sexes like talking to me. It is my superpower. Although I definitely remember when I was younger. And more obsessed with sports and video games, there was a subset of boys (and this is when they were still boys) gave me huge amounts of cool points.
These days it is sufficient staying involved and staying active to find stuff to talk about. I like talking to everyone. You always have something in common somewhere. You just have to find it. I don't see any gendered versions or conversationalists. Though people who are attached to their phone like a second limb generally suck at conversation.
The reason I find dudes easier to talk to is probably because I grew up as the token female in a household comprised of my father, my uncle, and my 2 brothers. Another thing is I have a hard time getting past the superficial level of a friendship, and the expectation to do so isn't as strong with men; I don't give off the cheating vibe, so casual friendships are fine. I do have some female friends too, and they actually work out quite nicely because they are a lot like me, in terms of needing low-pressure, low-expectation friendships; we can not hear from each other for months, and then meet up for drinks without missing a beat. And they don't want to sit around bitching about their husbands or kids either.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,029,445 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
Children should not be a deal breaker. My oldest childs father died before she was born. I was in a 7 year relationship with my sons father. I have a teenager and a preschooler, so it is not like I have been out there having kids willy nilly with just anyone.
My sons fathers behavior is his issue and not something that I should accept blame for. I cant help that he is crazy. Heck he really cant help it either.
Whether you think they should or not is irrelevant. They are for many many men and women.
Children should not be a deal breaker. My oldest childs father died before she was born. I was in a 7 year relationship with my sons father. I have a teenager and a preschooler, so it is not like I have been out there having kids willy nilly with just anyone.
My sons fathers behavior is his issue and not something that I should accept blame for. I cant help that he is crazy. Heck he really cant help it either.
Oh, trust me, IT IS! Especially when you play the stepfather role for years and leave a relationship empty handed and with no appreciation. One experience was all it took for me to realize that I will NEVER raise kids that don't belong to me.
The same suckers who go to coffee dates would probably be OK with raising somebody else's kids.
A friend of mine was widowed earlier this year. She was a stepmother to his children for 15 years. Now that their father is dead, she doesn't see them very much and is very sad about it. I can totally understand the trepidation about bonding with someone else's children.
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