Men, do you open doors for your dates? (2015, Japanese, cousins)
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Just wanted to point out the attitudes of female posters when a man talks or questions about doing everything compared to a woman complaining about doing everything.
Next time a female poster comes to complain about doing all house chores while her guy doesn't we'll see how female posters reply which I can assure you is different as seen already in past threads. As for now, enjoy having men do all chivalrous things for you while you give him bonus points.
Hmm. My responses in this thread said that I open doors for men, including my own husband, and that other gestures like pulling out chairs and helping with coats are very rare now. I'm not sure what "all the chivalrous things" I am enjoying, so maybe you have me confused with someone else.
I don't understand how treatment on a date relates to household chores distribution. Maybe I am confused.
It was brought up just to show attitude differences when male posters complain about doing everything in a relationship (dating) and they get flamed by female posters but have a woman complain she does everything in the relationship (for example, house chores) and she gets all sympathy.
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That stuff, the chores, household expenses etc is determined by the parties in the relationship and everyone's rules.
But that isn't the same as an outing.
Naaaah, not the same, you are right. When it comes to dating it seems to be the norm to have a guy ask a girl out, take her out for dinner, go for drinks, open her door, and all other chivalrous things mentioned in this thread and others. A woman can show appreciation by continuing to let him do all those things for her, give him a shy smile, and cute things like that whom other female posters have shared. There will be a few women out there who will go beyond that which was also mentioned already. But like it was said a page ago, each couple will do as they like and life goes on.
You shouldn't be acting chivalrous for the sole purpose to earn points or personal expectations to being with, you should be doing so becuase you want to be kind to others.
If someone does not appeaciate you for who you are (the real you) you should never be getting in to situations where it matters....you should be leaving that other person to find someone else.
Going back to the "bonus points" thing for a minute, I believe someone said she gave them "secret bonus points." I don't think it should be a secret if somebody does something you appreciate, especially if you think it's something that is scarce. Smile. Thank! Praise! Positive reinforcement works.
Please don't confuse me with the the women you have dated.
Maybe I did confuse you with some American girls I dated but other than that I've mostly dated girls from other countries that show different characteristics that may be rare in the USA so naaah. Can't confuse you with those.
Going back to the "bonus points" thing for a minute, I believe someone said she gave them "secret bonus points." I don't think it should be a secret if somebody does something you appreciate, especially if you think it's something that is scarce. Smile. Thank! Praise! Positive reinforcement works.
I probably said secret bonus points as that is a phrase I like.
I wouldn't let's say, put on an online dating profile "I prefer men who open doors and help me with my coat."
I will say thank you if you do those things. I say think you and smile to everyone who does something nice.
And if there are 2 people that are hypothetically equal, I am going to pick the one who holds the doors. And it will give you a little leg up with me if you do those things.
Maybe I did confuse you with some American girls I dated but other than that I've mostly dated girls from other countries that show different characteristics that may be rare in the USA so naaah. Can't confuse you with those.
You usually don't just outright insult me. It's a bit surprising. I'm not sure why you believe that all I do is sit there and smile. Oh well.
I probably said secret bonus points as that is a phrase I like.
I wouldn't let's say, put on an online dating profile "I prefer men who open doors and help me with my coat."
I will say thank you if you do those things. I say think you and smile to everyone who does something nice.
And if there are 2 people that are hypothetically equal, I am going to pick the one who holds the doors. And it will give you a little leg up with me if you do those things.
Ah, gotcha.
I worked for a man in his 70s who was as old school as they get. He was very wealthy, but I knew he came from humble beginnings, and I think he wore his manners like his expensive suits. He was always very polished and I think the public manners were part of that. We went to lunch once down the street, and when we crossed he put his hand on the small of my back as we stepped into the road. It wasn't remotely sexual (more guiding and protective? hard to describe) and some women would probably hate it. It was an interesting vibe but the only time I can recall a man's doing that.
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