Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A man doesn't HAVE to do anything. Society today expects NOTHING of him as far as manners or chivalry.
Yes!
That's part of the beauty of living in a place where there's freedom of association. I personally expect certain things of someone that I am dating, or even going out on a first date with. If the person does not meet my expectations, it's a simple "thanks, but no thanks". (Which I certainly expect goes both ways.)
One of the biggest expectations that I have of people that I choose to associate with is that they have made their own choices about what they want in life. We may not agree on everything, but I have a fundamental respect for those who have looked at what "society" may say and said "no thank you, not for me".
Speaking of that, I spoke with my partner briefly last night about this "chivalry issue". He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he does what he does because he wants to do it. He enjoys having a woman let him take her coat and such. Period.
If someone doesn't want to do these things, that's their prerogative. But, as with anything else, it may end up with a simple "thanks but no thanks" from a prospective partner.
No. The couple get to determine their dynamics. I'd hardly be considered a traditional woman - I think my husband would laugh. But we cherry pick all the things we like about various roles and make our own mix. This is how it works with most couples.
Yep. I guess the problem is that they don't like it that we all have CHOICES.
I think you are all having some issues with this topic. From my personal experience, chivalry is mostly appreciated by older ladies and not so much by the younger generations. It also is based on where you live. a 20 year old hottie in the heart of NY will likely respond differently to a guy opening a door for her (and other gestures of chivalry) than a 60 year old, short haired grandma in rural Texas. I live in a big city and have gotten dirty looks for holding doors open for women (feminists for sure) and a couple even told me - "I can do that for myself". So it goes like this, if you are interested in dating 55 year old, over the hill, hasn't dated for 20 years, housewives - displaying chivalry will likely be of benefit to you. If you are interested in dating beautiful, young women - the less chivalry you display - the better. Believe me, I have experienced his 100 times over, and my experiences match those of other quality guys, who know what they want and how to get it.
I'm really surprised by the amount of men saying that they get dirty looks or an attitude from women when they do "chivalry" gestures, aka basic common courtesies such as opening a door.
Urban Sasquatch, someone who I want to be like when I grow up , he's said the same thing....
I live in the liberal mecca also known as LA and I've never once seen a woman get put off by doing simple gestures as opening doors. I would think that if there's ever a feminazi viper, they'd make their den out here.....
That's about all I do, I don't stand when a woman enters the room or pull her chair out or anything else reminiscent of the Gone with the wind era...
I'm really surprised by the amount of men saying that they get dirty looks or an attitude from women when they do "chivalry" gestures, aka basic common courtesies such as opening a door.
Urban Sasquatch, someone who I want to be like when I grow up , he's said the same thing....
I live in the liberal mecca also known as LA and I've never once seen a woman get put off by doing simple gestures as opening doors. I would think that if there's ever a feminazi viper, they'd make their den out here.....
That's about all I do, I don't stand when a woman enters the room or pull her chair out or anything else reminiscent of the Gone with the wind era...
I live close to Manhattan in New York, and go to school here. I don't think I've ever seen a woman of any age give me a dirty look for holding/opening a door for her.
"Nicely"? Are you kidding me??? Do you even know how to spell " condescending"? You guys need to start your own club. Seriously.
Yet, you didn't answer his question and instead decided to insult him and even question his manhood and mention genitalia.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I hold doors all the time and i'm not a man. If my husband holds the door, I say thank you. I don't have to do anything in return or exchange for the door holding, just as I don't have to do anything but say thank you if a stranger holds the door for me.
Way too much tit-for-tat and score-keeping. Don't want to hold a door for a woman, then don't. But like every other thread in this section, what you're not willing to do, many others are, so just make peace with that and quit directing resentment at women for the things other men choose to do.
What was being talked about yesterday was not married couples but dating situations where a poster simply asked how women reciprocate chivalry and he got answer such as "I am nice...I smile...He gets bonus points...I let him go out with me..." and so on. What I did ask was if women would answer the same way if a female poster complained about doing all house chores telling her that she should stop complaining, she gets bonus points for doing all house chores, he can smile back to show appreciation, etc.
I guess the replies "I am nice...I smile at him...I let him date me..." sum it up on how women reciprocate when it comes to DATING (not marriage) to the long list of detailed things a gentleman does for a woman.
it happens, its not like all these guys are making it up. The thing is, that when men display chivalry, its simply because how they were raised and they do it automatically. So when they receive a negative feedback from a woman, it is very bewildering.
Until this thread, I didn't realize it was such an inconvenience for you menfolk to open the door. I find it easy enough to grab a door for someone with a stroller or their hands full or the person behind me....
Yet, you didn't answer his question and instead decided to insult him and even question his manhood and mention genitalia.
What was being talked about yesterday was not married couples but dating situations where a poster simply asked how women reciprocate chivalry and he got answer such as "I am nice...I smile...He gets bonus points...I let him go out with me..." and so on. What I did ask was if women would answer the same way if a female poster complained about doing all house chores telling her that she should stop complaining, she gets bonus points for doing all house chores, he can smile back to show appreciation, etc.
I guess the replies "I am nice...I smile at him...I let him date me..." sum it up on how women reciprocate when it comes to DATING (not marriage) to the long list of detailed things a gentleman does for a woman.
What is this "long list of detailed things" that men do for women?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, he's said the same thing....
