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Forgive me if there is already a thread like this, I did try to search around and didn't find anything.
Honestly, I only dabble in online dating, and by that I mean I look at POF and find about 98/100 guys that I think are either ugly, not my type, too good looking for me, too fit for me, etc., etc.
So yesterday, I actually messaged two guys, and I have done this is in the past as well. And here's what happened, and always happens.
Guy #1: Start a conversation with him. Wonder if I'm saying the right thing. I kind of treat him like I know him already by asking how he likes the weather (is that too cheesy, boring, stupid??? I don't know!) (however, it was raining yesterday and we are in CALIFORNIA, where Folsom Lake is now Folsom Valley!!)But I digress. So we exchange couple get to know you questions back and forth and then he just stops talking to me. Maybe I said something he didn't like?? I really didn't get to say a whole lot at all. - ????
Guy #2: Start conversation, exchange couple pleasantries, and then he breaks out with, "Send me your address please." WTF??????? What is that crazy crap about???
Makes me just want to throw in the towel for another 6 months!
Do you literally have to get through several of these types of guys to get to your prince???
Not necessarily. Some women find their match quickly online and some never do. I'm putting myself in the "never" camp at this point. I recently met a guy who seemed cool and seemed to be having a good time when we met, but he didn't ask me out again. I'm going to assume that it was because the distance between us was too great because why else wouldn't he want to see ME again?????
There are people I wanted to have a family with (last woman I dated included), but I don't date to find a mother of non existent children, I date to meet awesome women, make connections, and hopefully fall in love. People dating to find a parent of children that don't exist certainly turn off most people, both male and female, even those open to having children.
But I also don't see what you see with the age thing. I'm 44 now and I get messaged by mostly women 34-37 or so, which isn't ideal. Definitely haven't had issue with being too old for a 38 yo.
You're twisting my words. Most people desire to have a family at some point in their life. I'm ultimately looking for a life partner, whether I have kid s or not (unlikely at this point). You're probably in a better city for dating than I am.
Honestly, I only dabble in online dating, and by that I mean I look at POF and find about 98/100 guys that I think are either ugly, not my type, too good looking for me, too fit for me, etc., etc.
Just by these words, you have eliminated a lot of potentials. Too good looking for you?, too fit?
Get to know the person not what they look. You want someone who is respectful, has their act together and treat you well. Nobody is perfect and there is not perfection.
Talk to people, you seem young, get to know them. You have too many laundry list of requirements
Not necessarily. Some women find their match quickly online and some never do. I'm putting myself in the "never" camp at this point. I recently met a guy who seemed cool and seemed to be having a good time when we met, but he didn't ask me out again. I'm going to assume that it was because the distance between us was too great because why else wouldn't he want to see ME again?????
I don't like OLD because I shine more in person.
Honestly, in real life I am quite engaging and charming. And way cuter in person!
When I did online (and admittedly half-heartedly) I didn't love the choices I found. Something weird with pretty much everyone. I liked Tinder better oddly. It just seemed a lot easier to cut to the chase and meet offline.
I found that on the sites like OKC, people just wanted to send too many messages. I realized that many people just weren't great in person and would be way better in messages. So I like to just start in person.
Man, nothing could be further from the truth. I see the in boxes of some of my female friends. 20, 30, 40 messages in a row all saying nothing from guys 10 years younger or 10 years older, and on the rare occasion they get a real message the profiles are boring as sin and from someone an hour a way.
As a average or below average looking guy, who earns crap for a high COL area (Boston now), I get many more dates than a lot of the cute women I know.
It's really jaw droppingly bad how many bad / useless messages they get not worthy of acknowledgement. Which is why I encourage them to write the guys they want to meet and not be passive.
Maybe don't look too hard? I found mine quite by accident. Considering we were 80 miles apart, worked opposite shifts, and a few other black marks, against each of us.
I would say that OLD works but only for a few. Many people think that because of their success, the majority of others experience the same luck.
In fact, OLD is getting worse as they years go. OLD was ok 10 years ago but since the invention of swipe features, it has decreased the value.
OLD is no longer genuine. People, both men and women, have a weirdo alert factor that creates a wall between the two, which then allows either to continue dabbling while keeping the other on hold. The "pulling of the trigger" factor is decreasingly an option. Everyone wants to stall until they feel as if it is right...
I think if most people put the same amount of time and effort into bettering themselves as they do with OLD, they would end up meeting good matches in real life.
Honestly, in real life I am quite engaging and charming. And way cuter in person!
When I did online (and admittedly half-heartedly) I didn't love the choices I found. Something weird with pretty much everyone. I liked Tinder better oddly. It just seemed a lot easier to cut to the chase and meet offline.
I found that on the sites like OKC, people just wanted to send too many messages. I realized that many people just weren't great in person and would be way better in messages. So I like to just start in person.
The people I know who have been successful with OLD aren't photogenic or particularly attractive in person nor do they have friendly, outgoing personalities. So some people just get lucky with it, I guess.
I would say that OLD works but only for a few. Many people think that because of their success, the majority of others experience the same luck.
I agree. One of the best things I did was to end it all on Match and OKC and concentrate on doing things I like by trying Meetups, concentrating on myself and the activities I enjoy. I think many of us succumb to the downsides of OLD and forget about pushing away from the computer and experiencing the positive things in life, even if you're doing your solo thing. I thought I'd find someone eventually but it never happened and I've been on and off the sites for ten years or so.
There is such a positive feeling when you cut the cords and it's also nice to know I'm not alone with the OLD results...it works for some but not the majority. I'm with that.
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