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Thanks for the responses. I've accepted that she can live her life however she wants without me. For now at least it's best if I don't see her but in time I'll be able to be around her, hopefully with another girl.
You are not mature enough yet to be in a relationship with another girl.
When you can be around exes without being butt-hurt, then you will be ready.
You sound hurt and frankly you are being a little irrational right now, but it also sounds like you know and you own it. Pain can make us all a little irrational sometimes. It's normal.
I know you came looking for advice on how to make it hurt less. Really there is no way around it than through it. Time will help.
Try distracting yourself when he goes out with this group of friends. Call someone, jump online, binge watch a show in Netflix... anything that might get your mind off things while he's gone. Also, don't beat yourself up for being sad. Let yourself get sad for a few minutes then force yourself to engage in some other activity.
Good luck to you. Breakups are a beyotch but it does get better in time.
I'm not saying that I can't be around her, I could. It's just that I'm not good enough friends with that friend group to warrant it much.
If I'm not mature enough to be in a relationship than how did I sustain a healthy one for the better part of two years?
Not if every time you break up with someone you can't be where they are. I think if you did go with the group with your friend and your ex you would see that they chose her and don't really care about you.
You sound hurt and frankly you are being a little irrational right now, but it also sounds like you know and you own it. Pain can make us all a little irrational sometimes. It's normal.
I know you came looking for advice on how to make it hurt less. Really there is no way around it than through it. Time will help.
Try distracting yourself when he goes out with this group of friends. Call someone, jump online, binge watch a show in Netflix... anything that might get your mind off things while he's gone. Also, don't beat yourself up for being sad. Let yourself get sad for a few minutes then force yourself to engage in some other activity.
Good luck to you. Breakups are a beyotch but it does get better in time.
Thanks. I know it will get better with time, I just wish that time would come sooner. I think I'm taking the right steps in the meantime and am trying to distract myself as best as I can. I recognize when I'm being irrational and wish I could control any negative emotions but I guess that's one thing we aren't wired to do.
Not if every time you break up with someone you can't be where they are. I think if you did go with the group with your friend and your ex you would see that they chose her and don't really care about you.
Like I said I really don't care too much about that friend group because they were mostly acquaintances that I made when I was with my ex. The only "real" friend so to speak in that group is my roommate, who also lived with that friend group for two years previously so is also friends with them. But like I also said I've known him far longer than any of the others and we do things daily so no he isn't choosing her. I couldn't care less who the other guys choose, or if they really care about me; we were never really close friends, just good acquaintances.
I was told from people here to avoid her so that's what I've done. And we have been at the same bar together twice now and there wasn't any kind of drama.
My other friend group are my old fraternity brothers; many of them still live in the same area and my other roommate is from that group and they don't have to choose "sides".
If it's any consolation for myself I'm going to a concert out of town this weekend with a buddy of mine and about 6 girls. My ex won't get to me there and it's a good time to get back on my horse
How to cope with best friend still being friends with my ex?
I have never expected friends to break up just because I did. Or take sides.
That's silly and immature.
I agree with you. Like I said I'm NOT trying to block there friendship or make anybody choose sides. I've never not accepted that they can still be friends. This thread was about what I can do to minimize my own feelings in the wake of it.
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