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It's the Holiday Season again with Thanksgiving and Christmas family get togethers only a month or so apart. Does any city data folks attend the event all by themselves because your spouse does not want to attend? (He/she just sits at home and does their own thing while you participate in Thanksgiving and Christmas events with the extended family.)
Would this be a marriage deal breaker for you? Would you be embarrassed and angry? Would you come up with excuses for your wife or husband and try to explain away why they are not there?
The reason I ask this is my sister's husband has not attended either the Thanksgiving or Christmas events for three years now. The first year she claimed he was sick. The second year she said that he was with his family. (Even though I was told my her kids that was not true.) and last year they said he was painfully shy at family events. I looked him up on Linkedin and he is a senior executive for a Fortune 500 Company- hardly the type of role where shyness would be common.)
So.. if your spouse did this for three years, would you divorce them?
No, I wouldn't insist. I would let my husband know if it was something really important to me. And if he still chose not attend, after sharing how important it was to me, well, I would take notice of that and want to discuss it. I would want to know his reasons.
I
The reason I ask this is my sister's husband has not attended either the Thanksgiving or Christmas events for three years now. The first year she claimed he was sick. The second year she said that he was with his family. (Even though I was told my her kids that was not true.) and last year they said he was painfully shy at family events. I looked him up on Linkedin and he is a senior executive for a Fortune 500 Company
You didn't know what your sister's husband did for a living?
You seriously had to look it up?
I don't blame him for not wanting to spend time with people who take zero interest in him.
No, not family events. There have been no egregious offenses among our extended family, so there is no excuse for my husband or I to skip FAMILY events. Besides, Christmas is supposed to be the season for forgiveness, so what message would it send to stay home?
There are some work and civic events I don't "require" my husband to attend, but I always give him the choice. If he wants to skip certain ones where he won't really know anyone, I don't mind.
Family? If you're married to them, you're family.
I know from your previous posts, though, that the men just sit there awkwardly playing with their SMARTPHONES. But y'all need to start acting like grown-ups.
For family, its understood family trumps anyone's feelings or temperament and is more important than just "us" to maintain a bond and connection to. We have ever had to "ask"
If my wife suddenly started not wanting to go, it's her perogative to do so. I would let her do as she pleases as I went out to spend some time with the family. she is free to burn her own bridges if she chooses to as long as she doesn't not impose her stance on my own
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