Would you insist your spouse attend any Holiday Events you go to? (man, love)
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It seems like we both endure each others family events. It's getting harder and harder for each of us to face our families alone... I don't know if that makes any sense or not.
Poetic justice would be for Sister and her husband to jointly extend their "regrets" and enjoy the day in a more convivial setting away from these strident demands.
Occasionally, neither of us really, really want to do the family holiday ordeal, but we do. You know, the holidays are not about YOU. It's about putting your best foot forward and trying to spend a little quality time with friends and family. Some of them care.
My husband bows out of plenty of social obligations, but if it's important to me, he does his part. I do the same.
Occasionally, neither of us really, really want to do the family holiday ordeal, but we do. You know, the holidays are not about YOU. It's about putting your best foot forward and trying to spend a little quality time with friends and family. Some of them care.
My husband bows out of plenty of social obligations, but if it's important to me, he does his part. I do the same.
Mrs. Chow and me are both pretty quiet introverted types and I try to bow out of as many social obligations as I can get away with and throw her under the bus for "social interactions"
LOL, tough, women are sort expected to deal with the social calendaring.... Just like I still have to take out the garbage in the house...our old outdated social customs still apply here.
The reason I ask this is my sister's husband has not attended either the Thanksgiving or Christmas events for three years now.
So.. if your spouse did this for three years, would you divorce them?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Odd Ball
I suspect that the extended families of the person whose spouse does not show up laughs about them behind their back, just like I do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Odd Ball
I and the rest of the extended family told my sister in no uncertain way that her husband must attend next time. She was more upset with him than our forward and aggressive demands.
These posts are painting a very clear picture for me. I don't know whether to laugh or cringe.
If I could see that my spouse was miserable at a particular family function, I would find a way to give him a pass on it once in a while. OR i would find a way to make it more bearable for him. Like: send him out on an 'errand', give him a task he could be occupied with, or plan an activity he enjoys.
I had a SIL who made little effort to hide how uncomfortable she was with our inlaws. No one missed her when she left the family. I do think she had significant anxiety issues, and I wish I had approached her differently. But IMHO if you are not comfortable with your inlaws, your spouse has to be the buffer, and you need to work as a team.
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